1st Rewrite [Text - UN: koko1010]

[scriptwriter]

So doom and gloom aside... I believe that there's a big problem that needs to be addressed here!

Why isn't anyone talking about the awesome gacha games on this smartphone!?

Warrior Stickman. Dragon Odyssey. Blood Empire. Strike Knights. There's so many mobile games around here and I see everyone is just sleeping on them! Do none of these ring a bell?! Have you all lost of your sense of romanticism and adventure!? We just had a tournament with Mario Party for crying out loud! Surely this has tickled your interests in video games a little bit!

For those who don't know... Gacha gaming is the ultimate pass time where you can play video games on your little smartphone here. Pretty self-explanatory, right? But be warn that if you decide to step into the world of gacha... It's a incredible hell that you're walking into. An all-or-nothing bloodbath where the strong live and the weak die. A path of carnage and broken dreams where 1-Star characters are devoured and forgotten by the irresistible 5-Star characters.

In a sense... Our society is no different from a gacha game, no? The strong and beautiful who live in high society are considered the 5-Star characters and we who have been drinking from the gutters and crawling through mud are the mere 1-Stars! But fear not 1-Stars... I, Tennouji Kotarou, the man who rules over common sense, am here to bestow my knowledge upon you! As the chosen "Common Sense Archon" it is my duty to pass on my fruits of wisdom!

So if you'd want a place to start, I can suggest that you play "Glory Kingdom"! It's one that I'm pretty into lately. Ever dreamed of befriending a cute goddess? Ever wanted to build your kingdom from the neck up? Ever wanted to team-up with a crazy tyrant babe who hates your guts, then slowly falls in love with you as you show her the joys of the normal world?!

Then this game is absolutely for you! They're even giving away free gems for new players who join, so what are you waiting for? Don't be a 1-Star, be a ★COOL STAR★ and join in the big sensation sweeping the island nation!

P.S: I was not paid to do this (though I will accept donations since I'm a little low on cash right now from my valuable gacha gaming research)! I simply want to share my joy involving a little hobby of mine! If you have any questions, I'll be more than happy to answer. Thank you. ♥

Comments

text; un: catscratch

[cooperatively]

are you really asking for people to help you whale?

[where are those donations going, huh.]

text | un: maruchan

[fujimaru]

Wow Σ(-ロ-;)
No matter where you go, there's always e-beggars

text; un: beaumains

[beaumains]

That is




an interesting

if bleak

view of class you have, Kotarou.

video; UN: firstfallen

[corruptedsave]

[They read this whole thing over and well...]

I don't get the big deal, it's not even good games.

text; un: saber

[excalibeam]

[ Blinks... who are you calling a 1-star here, you're looking at an actual SSR here ]

how is it an enjoyable pastime while also being hell at the same time?

[ Even with the knowledge bestowed upon her by the grail... she's got no clue what you've just rambled on about. ]

text; un: tacobell

[itsjiaheng]

bruh

going for the tsun goddess waifu is like so basic

text | un: capn_benny

[rotacalamitas]

hey common sense archon! long time no see!

you make these things sound pretty epic, but i saw them listed under gambling. My dads told me a guy as unlucky as me should never gamble, because I'll definitely lose it all!

text; un: manslayer

[hitokiri]

dunno what the fuck i just read or this star bullshit but high society types aint shit. just makes em easier to kill cuz they dont see it comin.

[ as a 3-star and a poor person he resents this bad take ]

text; un: maou

[owarifool]

as a 5★ ur pullin some real 1★ desperation here pal.

text; un: wolfcountry

[impostorsyndrome]

I think the real problem is that you're not even the first person to start talking to me about gacha games in the past month.

But you really went above and beyond with this rant. You're not involved in that Crystal Mushroom quest by any chance, are you?

[his waifu is an SSR thanks]

text; un: ensignledo

[ferrytale]

What you describe makes sense, as the Galactic Alliance operates on a similar principle. This is most efficient. One assumes that these "5-Stars" are far more powerful and therefore will be able to annihilate the enemy more quickly which therefore also consumes fewer resources.

Tell me, what is the ultimate objective? Once one has acquired all of the "5-Stars" what is accomplished?

Additionally, what other knowledge do you possess as the "Common Sense Archon"? I am still seeking useful data.

text; un: mcmm

[groundzeroes]

I respect the hustle lol.

add me

[rei leaves his in-game friend code. the main character on his profile is a whaled five star MILF]

[commediadellanime]

[Hmm...]

Oh this is one of those "waifu" things isn't it
I've heard about them since coming here!

You're not doing a very good job selling it.

text| un: gawainknightoftheroundtable

[loyalbreed]

The system you are talking about merely is a means of categorizing ones existence, it has no bearing of a persons individual prowess.

[ Insert Fate Fandom 10 page essay of fights about 5 stars vs 1 star values over reddit. ]

Though you spoke of these games, and saving Princesses perhaps? I did enjoy Princess Peach from the Marior game, and have fallen in love with her rightly. Do you know where I can see more of her?

text; un: fastasthewind

[heavenlyskies]

Probably because while all those are good. There are not really any good racing games on them. Besides a lot of things are just money sinks and you have to shell out a lot of money to get the good 5star heroes.

And there's plenty of other things to do besides play on your phone here.

text; un: tachibana.i

[currysseur]

( she feels like she's walked into one one of Itaru-san's rants. oh boy... )

How much did you spend on this?

( AKA how much should they all prepare for Itaru-san to whale here. )

text;

[reloves]

[ There's so much she could say here.

But one thing stands out to Minako more than anything else, and so she is very, very quick to address it. ]

HEY
how dare you use WE when talking about what stars we are, huh?!

i'm definitely the biggest 5 star character there is!!!!!! the goddess of love and beauty herself!!!!!

text; un: lilmonix3

[peninhand]

[ ...

The fuck? Where the fuck does she even begin with this post? Okay, deep breath. She can do it. ]

Kotarou. The "gacha" you are describing are highly predatory video games. They're designed to become less and less fun as you keep playing and not spending money. They incentive you to spend, planting the seeds of what is designed to become an addiction. It is very similar to gambling. The difference is that unlike gambling, you have zero chance of gaining anything valuable out of it.

You should stop, okay? Why not take a good book instead of playing this? Or even play a proper video game that's not designed to prey on the player. You mentioned Mario Party, mainline Mario games are excellent and lacking in any form of monetization.

text: un colette

[angelolatry]

Gacha? Five star characters? I can play games on this?

[Sylvarant was not that advanced to have phones. Let alone such games as that.]

text; un: ems

[unhappy]

gross

text; un: Itaru-Chigasaki

[rateup]

[ hi you just got spooked by the winner of the mario party tournament a while back ]

bruh
did i fucking write this in my sleep LMAOOOOOOOOO

text; un: coffeefiend

[ichoosefight]

wow

and I thought my ex was a nerd

text; un: RiverofHeaven

[kokuryuu]

I found many things on this rectangle device like social advice, relationship, map, and infirmation mostly

But
I found one "game" which I like on my rectangle device
It is good
It is called Peaceful Frog Pond

I raise a baby frog


This is my baby frog