1st Rewrite [Text - UN: koko1010]

[scriptwriter]

So doom and gloom aside... I believe that there's a big problem that needs to be addressed here!

Why isn't anyone talking about the awesome gacha games on this smartphone!?

Warrior Stickman. Dragon Odyssey. Blood Empire. Strike Knights. There's so many mobile games around here and I see everyone is just sleeping on them! Do none of these ring a bell?! Have you all lost of your sense of romanticism and adventure!? We just had a tournament with Mario Party for crying out loud! Surely this has tickled your interests in video games a little bit!

For those who don't know... Gacha gaming is the ultimate pass time where you can play video games on your little smartphone here. Pretty self-explanatory, right? But be warn that if you decide to step into the world of gacha... It's a incredible hell that you're walking into. An all-or-nothing bloodbath where the strong live and the weak die. A path of carnage and broken dreams where 1-Star characters are devoured and forgotten by the irresistible 5-Star characters.

In a sense... Our society is no different from a gacha game, no? The strong and beautiful who live in high society are considered the 5-Star characters and we who have been drinking from the gutters and crawling through mud are the mere 1-Stars! But fear not 1-Stars... I, Tennouji Kotarou, the man who rules over common sense, am here to bestow my knowledge upon you! As the chosen "Common Sense Archon" it is my duty to pass on my fruits of wisdom!

So if you'd want a place to start, I can suggest that you play "Glory Kingdom"! It's one that I'm pretty into lately. Ever dreamed of befriending a cute goddess? Ever wanted to build your kingdom from the neck up? Ever wanted to team-up with a crazy tyrant babe who hates your guts, then slowly falls in love with you as you show her the joys of the normal world?!

Then this game is absolutely for you! They're even giving away free gems for new players who join, so what are you waiting for? Don't be a 1-Star, be a ★COOL STAR★ and join in the big sensation sweeping the island nation!

P.S: I was not paid to do this (though I will accept donations since I'm a little low on cash right now from my valuable gacha gaming research)! I simply want to share my joy involving a little hobby of mine! If you have any questions, I'll be more than happy to answer. Thank you. ♥

Comments

[owarifool]

u wanna talk about transcending common sense?

im not just any 5★

BEHOLD THE FOOL OF OWARI, THE GREAT UNIFIER OF JAPAN, THE DEVIL KING OF THE SIXTH HEAVEN

ODA NOBUNAGA

and normally id say u can call me Kipposhi but a desperate climber like u doesnt get that privilege.

text | un: maruchan

[fujimaru]

[ 5★ Nobunaga going by Kipposhi... wait... ]

Σ(゜゜)??????
Kipposhi??????????
GUDAGUDA Kipposhi???????????
You're here too???????

[owarifool]

[ wait what ]

well i cant be anyone else at the moment

[ only a handful of people would use that specific term... ]

[fujimaru]

[ She has to look out the window, just in case there are little UFO mini-Nobbus floating around. No? Okay. ]

NO ONE TOLD ME YOU WERE HERE????? ╰[ ⁰﹏⁰ ]╯
It's me it's me
Ritsuka

[owarifool]

[ FUCK

dont panic kipposhi

play it cool ]

oh hey

master

when did u get here?

wait no one told u about me?!

[fujimaru]

I dunno maybe a week ago??
Ish??
How many of you guys are even here?!
Hi?!?

[owarifool]

[ no he... he really can't just play this casually. a whole week? and he didn't notice? ]

hey where are u right now?

[fujimaru]

My room at the freeloader's inn

[ Ritsuka, that's not what it's called. Whatever. ]

I've been sleeping a lot
Some uh
Stuff happened?
Not here
Before here

[owarifool]

im in the same building.

send me the room number and ill be down in a sec

[fujimaru]

[ There's a brief pause--maybe just long enough for someone to go open their own door and look at the number--before he gets the info in a text. ]

[scriptwriter]

huh?

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?!


wait wait wait

I already met an Oda Nobunaga here! Are you like the American or British adaptation version of him?

[There's too many of this guy running around! He can't keep up!]

[owarifool]

that nobunaga is gone. and was obviously less cool.

ur lookin at the only nobunaga that matters.

[scriptwriter]

uhhh wow

It's nice to meet you again, I think! Can you sing better than the last one?

[owarifool]

why

wait u know what? not important.

this is about u.

[scriptwriter]

no no no!

I'm very curious now! And a small timer like me cannot possibly compare to the greatness of the Devil King himself!

[owarifool]

thats me point, exactly.

ur a small timer. the hell is this post supposed to accomplish? what kind of mealy mouthed way of seeking favor is this? u read like a clown, and not a funny one at that.

here's some free advice from the Demon King; if ur ambition doesnt burn, then find some gas to throw on that fire. u couldnt carve ur name into a sponge with this kind of heat.

[scriptwriter]

My ambition? Gas?! Do you really want to hear the reason why I made this post then?! Don't make fun of what I'm trying to do here!

[owarifool]

what, some desperate attempt at carving a connection to others via frivolities, but without exposing any part of yourself in the process?

[scriptwriter]

[That completely stuns him that he almost forgets to send a reply. Was his attempts really that half-assed?]

what


how did you

[owarifool]

impressions are everything.

and yours is weak, barely an ember.

[scriptwriter]

I wasn't born with a sword in my hand unlike some people here.

[But he digresses, though...]

But if you wanna laugh at me, then go ahead. I already know how weak, useless and pathetic I am. That's why I want to become someone who can connect with and get along with anyone.

[owarifool]

starting from zero is no excuse to stay at zero.

if thats ur ambition, then ignite it! let it turn into a blaze that scars ur name into history!

[scriptwriter]

That's pretty hardcore whenever you put it like that.

But I think I can do that. I just gotta figure out how to become a big deal that people can rely on more.

[owarifool]

much better.

i look forward to seeing the flames of ur ambition grow!

[scriptwriter]

SIR YES SIR! I will do my best to make a dent in the history books!