1st Rewrite [Text - UN: koko1010]

[scriptwriter]

So doom and gloom aside... I believe that there's a big problem that needs to be addressed here!

Why isn't anyone talking about the awesome gacha games on this smartphone!?

Warrior Stickman. Dragon Odyssey. Blood Empire. Strike Knights. There's so many mobile games around here and I see everyone is just sleeping on them! Do none of these ring a bell?! Have you all lost of your sense of romanticism and adventure!? We just had a tournament with Mario Party for crying out loud! Surely this has tickled your interests in video games a little bit!

For those who don't know... Gacha gaming is the ultimate pass time where you can play video games on your little smartphone here. Pretty self-explanatory, right? But be warn that if you decide to step into the world of gacha... It's a incredible hell that you're walking into. An all-or-nothing bloodbath where the strong live and the weak die. A path of carnage and broken dreams where 1-Star characters are devoured and forgotten by the irresistible 5-Star characters.

In a sense... Our society is no different from a gacha game, no? The strong and beautiful who live in high society are considered the 5-Star characters and we who have been drinking from the gutters and crawling through mud are the mere 1-Stars! But fear not 1-Stars... I, Tennouji Kotarou, the man who rules over common sense, am here to bestow my knowledge upon you! As the chosen "Common Sense Archon" it is my duty to pass on my fruits of wisdom!

So if you'd want a place to start, I can suggest that you play "Glory Kingdom"! It's one that I'm pretty into lately. Ever dreamed of befriending a cute goddess? Ever wanted to build your kingdom from the neck up? Ever wanted to team-up with a crazy tyrant babe who hates your guts, then slowly falls in love with you as you show her the joys of the normal world?!

Then this game is absolutely for you! They're even giving away free gems for new players who join, so what are you waiting for? Don't be a 1-Star, be a ★COOL STAR★ and join in the big sensation sweeping the island nation!

P.S: I was not paid to do this (though I will accept donations since I'm a little low on cash right now from my valuable gacha gaming research)! I simply want to share my joy involving a little hobby of mine! If you have any questions, I'll be more than happy to answer. Thank you. ♥

Comments

[scriptwriter]

I'm not playing, you know!

Do you know the reason why I did this? I just wanted to make some friends who shared a common interest with me! But I keep screwing up somehow... I wasn't born with handsome looks, a genius brain or a silver tongue to impress people. People like that ALWAYS succeed because they've got a natural talent that I don't have. All I can do is complain like a pro and look back at how stupid and useless I am!

If I go back to my old self no one will like me at all. You can talk naturally with the knights of the Round Table, but I don't even have the charisma to do THAT.

[impostorsyndrome]

[It takes him some time to respond to this one.]

I'm not having a conversation like this on the network. Frankly, I've already revealed more about myself in this post than I usually do in public spaces this active. I don't need someone who deals in information coming in and taking notes on all my fucking issues, and neither do you.

If you wanna talk, we can meet up.

I know how you feel. I'll say that much. Course, I hate myself, so knowing exactly how you feel just makes me wanna punch you. I won't actually do that, but that's how it is.

Anyway. I'd rather not do this here.

[scriptwriter]

[Kotarou doesn't respond for a while. Mostly because he realized that he took out his frustrations on Kadoc whenever it was more directed at himself than anyone else. He was just... so stupid. It certainly blindsides him to hear that Kadoc had felt these same kind of emotions too. In fact, Kotarou didn't even expect for Kadoc to be so accepting about all of this. If anyone were in the same room as him, he'd look very lethargic with no light in his eyes at all... A far cry from how he usually is.]

sorry again
I didn't mean to take everything out on you
I don't understand why you always stick your neck out for someone like me
but I'd totally like a meet up
you can punch me all you want and I'll take it!!
no need to hold back on me!

I'll probably take a long nap first
then I'll be back to being the usual cheerful Kotarou (*≧▽≦)
just gotta recharge my batteries a minute
so so sleepy...

[impostorsyndrome]

[After another brief textual silence, in which Kadoc stares at his tablet and considers his options:]

Fine. I'll take you up on that. Come over right now instead and I'll punch you in the face.

[scriptwriter]

Huh? For real?

[He really felt like staying in bed for a while and just pretending all of his bad decisions would sweep over his head like rainclouds. If he just disappeared, then that would've been fine too. What registers more in Kotarou's head is the fact that Kadoc wanted to see him so urgently and not the face punching. He didn't think he'd seriously have the guts to do that!]

uh sure...
Just give him a second and I'll be on my way

[impostorsyndrome]

[He texts Kotarou his and Gareth's address. Definitely this is for face-punching, not for any other reason! Why else would he invite him over! . . . Whether Kotarou actually comes will be another surprise. Kadoc could see it going either way.]