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1st Rewrite [Text - UN: koko1010]

So doom and gloom aside... I believe that there's a big problem that needs to be addressed here!

Why isn't anyone talking about the awesome gacha games on this smartphone!?

Warrior Stickman. Dragon Odyssey. Blood Empire. Strike Knights. There's so many mobile games around here and I see everyone is just sleeping on them! Do none of these ring a bell?! Have you all lost of your sense of romanticism and adventure!? We just had a tournament with Mario Party for crying out loud! Surely this has tickled your interests in video games a little bit!

For those who don't know... Gacha gaming is the ultimate pass time where you can play video games on your little smartphone here. Pretty self-explanatory, right? But be warn that if you decide to step into the world of gacha... It's a incredible hell that you're walking into. An all-or-nothing bloodbath where the strong live and the weak die. A path of carnage and broken dreams where 1-Star characters are devoured and forgotten by the irresistible 5-Star characters.

In a sense... Our society is no different from a gacha game, no? The strong and beautiful who live in high society are considered the 5-Star characters and we who have been drinking from the gutters and crawling through mud are the mere 1-Stars! But fear not 1-Stars... I, Tennouji Kotarou, the man who rules over common sense, am here to bestow my knowledge upon you! As the chosen "Common Sense Archon" it is my duty to pass on my fruits of wisdom!

So if you'd want a place to start, I can suggest that you play "Glory Kingdom"! It's one that I'm pretty into lately. Ever dreamed of befriending a cute goddess? Ever wanted to build your kingdom from the neck up? Ever wanted to team-up with a crazy tyrant babe who hates your guts, then slowly falls in love with you as you show her the joys of the normal world?!

Then this game is absolutely for you! They're even giving away free gems for new players who join, so what are you waiting for? Don't be a 1-Star, be a ★COOL STAR★ and join in the big sensation sweeping the island nation!

P.S: I was not paid to do this (though I will accept donations since I'm a little low on cash right now from my valuable gacha gaming research)! I simply want to share my joy involving a little hobby of mine! If you have any questions, I'll be more than happy to answer. Thank you. ♥

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Isn't that all the more reason to get us together? We can all play video games together like bros! Or was it a girl? Might be a little awkward in that case...

I have been doing quests! Just, uh... Not for this month! Been really invested in this intense gacha gaming research that I've been doing for the sake of our island here.

and well
no BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY
Do you have one?

He's a guy and I'm never playing a game against him again. He's the kinda person who actually thinks of himself as a gamer, as a lifestyle. And I'm not sure you should either. Based on some of your other threads in here, you might end up actually attempting to murder him.

And yeah, I have a job.

Are you just asking me to try and guilt me into funding your whaling?

I wouldn't murder him! I just got caught up in the heat of the moment! And... Damn it, I'm embarrassed now! Why didn't you stop me from making a fool of myself!? I can't help being a disaster of passion! I just wanted to share something that I genuinely enjoyed and I'm getting dunked on for it! Why is the internet so cruel to meeeeeeee?!

Tell me what you do! I need a big pick-me-up right now!

I thought about it, but I'd feel seriously guilty if I did that. You're already doing hard work and you're a good person, so spend that money on yourself.

You really know how to turn on a dime, don't you? It makes me question whether I'm just playing into your hands every time I feel bad for you when you get in over your head. And you're asking the wrong guy if you need advice on how to cheer yourself up. I've never been any good at that.

I'm not playing, you know!

Do you know the reason why I did this? I just wanted to make some friends who shared a common interest with me! But I keep screwing up somehow... I wasn't born with handsome looks, a genius brain or a silver tongue to impress people. People like that ALWAYS succeed because they've got a natural talent that I don't have. All I can do is complain like a pro and look back at how stupid and useless I am!

If I go back to my old self no one will like me at all. You can talk naturally with the knights of the Round Table, but I don't even have the charisma to do THAT.

[It takes him some time to respond to this one.]

I'm not having a conversation like this on the network. Frankly, I've already revealed more about myself in this post than I usually do in public spaces this active. I don't need someone who deals in information coming in and taking notes on all my fucking issues, and neither do you.

If you wanna talk, we can meet up.

I know how you feel. I'll say that much. Course, I hate myself, so knowing exactly how you feel just makes me wanna punch you. I won't actually do that, but that's how it is.

Anyway. I'd rather not do this here.

[Kotarou doesn't respond for a while. Mostly because he realized that he took out his frustrations on Kadoc whenever it was more directed at himself than anyone else. He was just... so stupid. It certainly blindsides him to hear that Kadoc had felt these same kind of emotions too. In fact, Kotarou didn't even expect for Kadoc to be so accepting about all of this. If anyone were in the same room as him, he'd look very lethargic with no light in his eyes at all... A far cry from how he usually is.]

sorry again
I didn't mean to take everything out on you
I don't understand why you always stick your neck out for someone like me
but I'd totally like a meet up
you can punch me all you want and I'll take it!!
no need to hold back on me!

I'll probably take a long nap first
then I'll be back to being the usual cheerful Kotarou (*≧▽≦)
just gotta recharge my batteries a minute
so so sleepy...

[After another brief textual silence, in which Kadoc stares at his tablet and considers his options:]

Fine. I'll take you up on that. Come over right now instead and I'll punch you in the face.

Huh? For real?

[He really felt like staying in bed for a while and just pretending all of his bad decisions would sweep over his head like rainclouds. If he just disappeared, then that would've been fine too. What registers more in Kotarou's head is the fact that Kadoc wanted to see him so urgently and not the face punching. He didn't think he'd seriously have the guts to do that!]

uh sure...
Just give him a second and I'll be on my way

[He texts Kotarou his and Gareth's address. Definitely this is for face-punching, not for any other reason! Why else would he invite him over! . . . Whether Kotarou actually comes will be another surprise. Kadoc could see it going either way.]

coward

haaaaah?
the hell is THIS???
you wanna say that to my face irl???

nah man im talking to kadoc here

i totally creamed him in mario party but i still wanna play w him again sometime

maybe that wasnt the right game for him to show off his potential 🤔

oh whoops my bad (*m＿ _)m
I get a little jumpy sometimes!

I think you should try a fighting game to see his stuff
I'm actually pretty good at those myself.
Used to play a lot of Glazeblue back in the day...

oh same
GB, BG, GDVS - i still play them to this day
also smash ofc
we could go for that first and see if he can get used to it
work our way up

[ guys he's literally just there ]

Why are you plotting out training me in video games just so you can keep kicking my ass in them?

it builds character

besides
do u really think expert gamers are born
you gotta go through a whole ass training arc for that
altho having an inherently good hand-eye coordination would help a whole lot

I know that, and I do. The part where you're making a mistake here is in assuming that becoming an expert gamer is how I wanna spend my time.

then what do you do during your free time

Not counting work or quests, since you said free time

Read the network, practice my magic, study up on this place, check out the music scene, go out hunting or camping once in a while

camping......

[ not his weakness... but man, the mention of music alone reminded him of masumi all of a sudden. how he misses spring troupe. ]

i mean, those sound fun and all
but they sound kinda lonesome
didn't you feel the thrill when we did all those minigames in mario party

I can't believe you're this invested in this. Is it really just because I was that easy a win?

youre not that easy
is your self-worth that low that you think that you suck at mario party of all things
i just wanted to, is all
and
well
i needed an excuse to get out more tbh

Ugh

Not like I don't get that. You weren't wrong that my hobbies are pretty solitary. I'm not much of a people person.

[But he is somewhat more of one than he pretends. If he weren't, he wouldn't be bothering to text back here, or . . . invite multiple people in this post to meet up. The more he settles in in Camelot, the more he feels the urge to reach out now and again.]

To answer your question, yeah, my self-worth actually is that low

It's not even that I suck, it's that I'm not interested in setting myself up to be bullied by anyone. I know that whole song and dance already.

would you really call that bullying
because i would know that song and dance too

[ ...hm. ]

i mean if you want i can kneecap myself just to make it fair
i just thought that you might think that im not taking you seriously if i do

1st Rewrite [Text - UN: koko1010]

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im so sorry.

oh boy

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never be sorry

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