Video | UN: hijikata | Irregular Quest: Keep a Man out of the Sun for a Day

[mayoninofukucho]

[It's after dinnertime on another rainy evening when a new video pops up on AOL. Hijikata has never posted anything on the network before (beyond responses to other people), so he's not exactly a familiar face... but those who do know him may be surprised by the changes to his outfit and the large black wings on his back. He looks a lot more composed than usual and gives the camera a slow blink before starting to speak.]

My name is Arashi. I am the familiar of Hijikata-san, whose body I am inhabiting by means of familiar fusion to bring you this message. I am afraid that I find myself in need of some assistance.

[He seems to be in a hotel room, and attentive listeners may be able to catch the occasional high-pitched little noise in the background, as if there were guinea pigs or other small pets running around. Arashi keeps a straight face.]

It has come to my attention that Hijikata-san has been struggling to reverse the impact of the wishes that were made about two months ago. I cannot maintain the familiar fusion state for very long, so I seek the support of anyone willing and able to keep him away from the sunlight for a day.

[What the reclusive crow tengu isn't telling the viewers: due to the heavy rains he decided to check on his bond partner, only to find his hotel room full of mayonnaise mascots. When the flooding began Hijikata had fetched them in a panic from the smallholding farm the owners of which had been letting him keep them in an enclosure, and their presence immediately made it clear to Arashi that he never fixed his messed-up magic. Hijikata had just finished preparing a familiar fusion essence in his room for later use in an emergency, and ultimately it was used much sooner as a result of the ensuing fight.]

Please come to Room 306 at the main inn if you are interested. I cannot offer gold, but I am able to train users of wind magic and help awaken it for novice users of elemental magic, or otherwise I can offer some rare items.

Just as a warning, there are some... creatures here.

[The mayonnaise mascots are harmless, but kind of creepy looking in his opinion. They are unnatural, wholly unnatural. The sooner they disappear the better.]


(OOC: This is open for anyone, no dibs (after all we've got time loops happening around here!). Villains and pranksters are also welcome (after all Arashi is such an absent familiar that he wouldn't be able to tell who Hijikata's friends are, or if he has any at all). If you'd like to plot anything specific out I have my CR meme post here!)

Comments

Video : Un; fashiondiva

[corpsewarblade]

Seriously?? You mean he never stayed out the sun at all after the whole Fisherking nonsense??

[She looks exasperated. And possibly a bit worried.]

...Right, fine, whatever. Look, are the creatures hostile at all?

[mayoninofukucho]

[Arashi can tell how taken aback Mukuro is. She clearly can't believe that Hijikata failed to do such a simple job... well, honestly, he can hardly believe it either.]

The creatures are not hostile. They seem to be completely harmless. However we could meet somewhere else if you would prefer that.

[Right, he can move around in Hijikata's body. He hasn't been fused with anyone before, and it takes some getting used to.]

Continued from above!

[mayoninofukucho]

Oh, we can take them with us! I've taken them for walks before... not at night, though.

[He crouches down in front of the naked things.]

Mayorin, do you want to go for a walk with me and Junko?

[The mascots stare back at him, then shake their heads. Whatever the hell he baked into their behaviour when he made them, apparently they don't enjoy the dark.]

Okay, then you guys stay here. I'll leave some lights on for you. Are any of you still hungry?

[They all shake their heads again, like a herd of computer-generated mob creatures.]

Alright, Junko, I think they'll be fine. Let's go to the park around the corner.

Continued from above!

[mayoninofukucho]

[He stirs and opens his eyes, then sits up (careful not to jumble the Mayorins) and cracks his neck and arm joints.]

Nnnn... 11:00?

[That means he has a decent enough amount of hours left before sundown... maybe he should take a shower and eat some mayonnaise with mayonnaise to feel a little more alive, that way he'll be able to enjoy what remains of the day. Usually he'd be happy to continue enjoying Mukuro's company, too, but three factors make him decide otherwise: 1) She looks about as bleary-eyed as he feels, likewise having slept in a suboptimal position, 2) She must want breakfast too, and he knows that most people can't subsist on mayonnaise alone, and 3) He doesn't want her to be around when his cute little mascots ultimately disappear. He'll probably cry, he doesn't want her to see that!!]

Not to kick you out, but you've got to be hungry. I could order something for us again, but you've been sitting around in the dark for long enough, so go get some sunlight! I'll have my hands full with the Mayorins, so don't worry, I won't get bored.

Video : Un; Caster

[colchismagecraft]

So this is a familiar fusion, hm...? I'd heard the traders speak of such spells, but this is the first I'm seeing of it. Fascinating.

[Was she going to help? Nah. But hey, she's intrigued.]

...You must be able to use your magic much more effectively in that state.

Well, would be able to, if your Master had taken the time to stay out the sun before now.

[mayoninofukucho]

Yes, I would be, if he had.

[This is embarrassing.]

Hijikata-san mainly uses fire magic, which I would likely be able to wield along with my wind magic under... different circumstances.

[A small pause... but no, he can't let it go, he has to say something.]

I would like to make it a point to say that Hijikata-san is not my master.

Video: un: Greywords

[heartlessswordsman]

[Oh nooo, Zel's cop buddy is in trouble. Unacceptable!]

He just needs to be kept out of the sun? That should be easy enough. Are these creatures you mentioned aggressive at all?

[mayoninofukucho]

[Arashi looks at Zelgadis with interest. He hasn't seen anyone like him before.]

The creatures appear to be harmless and docile, but if avoiding the sun were so easy I would assume that Hijikata-san would already have accomplished it.

[Obviously it's no big deal if the person does it voluntarily, but Hijikata has stubbornly neglected to do his part, so Arashi foresees that anyone who volunteers to help will be facing quite the struggle.]

Continued from above!

[mayoninofukucho]

You haven't used AOL much, huh? Before asking on the network I'd first check if there's any information in an archive on the different magic types, or discussions in old forums or such. If you untie me I can take care of it.

[Such an innocent suggestion...]

Continued from above!

[mayoninofukucho]

Water? Yes, please.

[He experimentally tugs on his ropes, but no, they didn't miraculously loosen overnight.]

They didn't sleep?

[Does he actually know anything about the creatures he brought into this world? It seems doubtful.]

Continued from above!

[mayoninofukucho]

[Bless you, Zelgadis. That's another raise of Hijikata's favour meter. Still, when he exits the bathroom and finds Zelgadis conked out he sees himself presented with a tough choice.]

...

[A tiny version of Okita with devil horns and a spiked tail pops up on his shoulder (not really, this is all in his head). "Ohhhh, look at that, Hijikata-san. Here's your chance! Don't open the blinds, that'd make too much noise. Just slip out, catch some daylight at another window, then come back in. He'll never be the wiser." Naturally this is countered by the appearance of their commander Kondou, equally tiny and outfitted with a... suspiciously cracked halo and wings that keep losing feathers. Alright. "Come on now, Sougo! His guy has stayed up all night to look after Toshi. It'd be wrong to sabotage all his hard work. Toshi, you know you've got to let the Mayorins go, right? You've spent enough time with them."]

...

[This is such a tough call!! It's most likely his last chance to save his Mayorins, and also it'd be a very gratifying figurative middle finger to Arashi... but also to Zelgadis. How would he feel if Hijikata took advantage of his exhaustion like this? He looks at his sleeping form, then at the Mayorins who come toddling up to him with their cute indistinct little sounds. He crouches down and pats their onion-shaped heads.]

Don't worry, Mayorin. Don't worry.

[He quietly walks to the door because yeah, no way is he letting this chance slip through his fingers. Sorry Zelgadis, but Mayorin in his favourite person(???) in the world. He looks back at him once more to make sure he's still asleep, then opens the door... and finds himself face to face with a teenaged food delivery boy who already raised his hand to knock. They both stare at each other for a moment, then the kid holds out the warm bags filled with two delicious meals.]

Here's your order! That'd be 1740 Gold, please!

[Oookay, so much for that. Hijikata sighs and pays (despite his frustration he tips and makes it 2000G), his phone playing the obligatory coin jingle. If the boy's booming nasal voice didn't already wake Zelgadis up this may just have done it... and if not, then the kid's goodbye may.]

Thanks Sir! Please enjoy and order from us again!

VIDEO | UN: HAMMERTIME

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[The video is literally just Darin laughing.]

[That's it. That's what you get for now.]

[mayoninofukucho]

[Who is this..? What is he so amused about?]

May I ask what about my broadcast amuses you so?

[He's already feeling very self-conscious about having such an incompetent bond partner, he doesn't want to be laughed at on top of that! It's insult to injury!]

Continued from above (to avoid pagestretching)!

[mayoninofukucho]

Bastard!! Just wait--

[He tries to blindly headbutt and kick Darin, but he's definitely at a disadvantage now. Arashi immediately follows up on Darin's request and, with only so much as an elegant wing motion, makes the air escape the burlap sack. Since the material isn't airtight it won't stay that way, but for the moment Hijikata sure finds himself short on oxygen all of a sudden.]

God damn it, you--!! I'll maim you! When I'm done with you... hah... you'll wish...

[His bitching ceases mid-sentence, and as soon as his hoarse voice breaks off he just slumps in Darin's arms (presumably; he can of course also let him drop). Arashi lets out a deep sigh.]

I cannot apologise enough for the trouble, Darin-san.]

[Why does his bond partner have to be so goddamn difficult?! This isn't even a serious arc!!]

VIDEO | un: sparklythings

[patchricide]

But... hold on, he still hasn't managed it? After this long? He does know that he's supposed to stay out of the sunlight, doesn't he?

[mayoninofukucho]

[Arashi feels downright mortified. Several people have now expressed disbelief at Hijikata's state of affairs, and it makes him feel like a parent whose child is hopelessly lagging behind everybody else's in academics.]

He does know. I believe he chose not to comply for... personal reasons.

[That mayonnaise freak would have gotten them both banished from Avalon and frozen in time by not contributing to the magic generation if Arashi hadn't decided to visit him for once!! All over a dozen creepy little gnomes! His feathers are ruffled.]

voice; un: 0123

[scension]

[Whoa, who knew Hijikata also had wings? But more importantly, it sounds like he's in trouble! That's all it takes for Sagi's busybody protagonist instincts to kick in.]

I'll help. We just need to tie him up for a day, right? I can go buy some rope.

[Unfortunately for Hijikata, he doesn't have any planning instincts to do the same. This is the first and therefore only idea he's going to come up with on his own.]

[mayoninofukucho]

[Aw Sagi. Bless him for helping! Honestly, that idea is far from the worst, given Hijikata's insane determination to hold on to the little abominations he created (and the rope may come in handy later on quests and such, so it'll be a good investment anyway). Arashi blinks at the screen... not being able to see Sagi puts him on edge a little. It's his first time being online (he actually asked a hotel employee to show him how to stream a video after taking over Hijikata's phone).]

That would be helpful. Much as it chagrins me to say, there is a good chance that Hijikata-san will attempt to sabotage any efforts to keep him out of the sunlight.

[Why does that man have to make his life as his familiar so difficult?]

Shall I wait here? I can maintain this state for another 45 minutes, give or take. Or do you have a different location in mind?

Continued from above (to avoid pagestretching)!

[mayoninofukucho]

[Hijikata with his fourth-wall savviness would be interested in hearing about who or what it is that Sagi keeps talking to - if it's his RPG interface AI, or a ghost that lives inside his head, or whatever else. But since Sagi is taking it upon himself to handle the situation for now he gets to sleep a little longer.

The Mayorins don't seem to take offence to Sagi toppling one of them; instead they enthusiastically nod in response to his question, some also clapping and jumping up and down (albeit quite plumply). All they seem to be able to say besides "Uhyoo" appears to be "Mayo", Mayomayo", "Mayomayomayo" and so on. Hijikata really outdid himself in creating them...]

Continued from above!

[mayoninofukucho]

[On the upside this way there was no request for a tip that might have put Sagi on the spot! Hijikata shakes his head at the question.]

No, they don't eat stuff like this, only eggs. It was a special offer, so it was cheap for the amount. We can each keep some leftovers for dinner.

[Never mind that it's so late in the afternoon that it's almost dinnertime anyway, this totally counts as lunch. Hijikata's forced day off from questing and patrolling allowed his body to fully recharge its batteries for once, so chances are he'll stay up late catching up with the latest news and discussions on AOL today.

He starts drowning the first little box of chips in mayonnaise as usual. At least he'll be a little more careful with the burger and only put a generous squirt on it every time before taking a bite, otherwise it'd get too messy.]

Dig in, Sagi.

Video; un: Shoto

[itsmypower]

[That person-! Hijikata-san?

Oh... No. Not quite.]

Ah. Arashi-san? [Collecting himself.] He just needs to avoid the sun?

[How difficult could he be?] I don't mind trying...

[mayoninofukucho]

[Oh thank goodness. Shoto is legitimately one of a mere handful of people Arashi knows here (Hijikata included), so seeing his face is a relief. He even smiles a little!]

Shoto-san, you have my gratitude. It appears to be a rather personal matter for Hijikata-san to avoid the sun, but it is necessary to lift an affliction that is plaguing him.

[Neither of them knows it, but Shoto may have a better chance to succeed here than some others, because Hijikata actually values his somewhat-mentor-ish status towards Shoto and won't want to see that dissolve into disappointment as he throws a tantrum about his precious mayonnaise gnomes.]

text, un: selcouth

[sulit]

[Oh, for crying out loud...]

Have you tried just locking the door?

[mayoninofukucho]

[Thankfully Arashi is literate (albeit not technically so, seeing how a hotel staff member had to show him how to broadcast the video). He wants to be polite and match Klaudia's format, but sadly he types with one finger of each hand like an old person, so it takes a while until she receives his answer. She can probably see him "writing" for 10 minutes straight.]

Locking the door? Just that? Hijikata-san will most certainly break out, and even if he somehow cannot, he will open the blinds in the room and expose himself to sunlight.

[To be fair, "sunlight" is relative during these rainy days, but Arashi presumes that any degree of daylight will suffice to keep the affliction in place. Anyway, he sure is talking about Hijikata like he's a raging bull made of a ton of pure muscle mass that'll easily splinter through hardwood.]

video; un: supersadistmaster

[firstsaderesponder]

[Oh god. Hijikata made a crap ton of Mayorins. Of course. It was only a matter of time before Hijikata's familiar would turn against him too--at least, that's what Sougo was thinking.

Keeping Hijikata out of the sun should be easy enough.]

As usual, I gotta fix Hijikata's messes for him again, huh?

I'll take care of it.

[Sougo's smirk is not the sign of a helpful, trustworthy man, but Arashi may think differently.]

[mayoninofukucho]

You know Hijikata-san, then?

[Arashi doesn't think Sougo looks trustworthy in the slightest, but... he seems to know Hijikata well, going by how unsurprised he is compared to most other responders, and on top of that he appears confident in his ability to sort the situation out.]

Very well.

[He'll judge whether he can really leave his bond partner with this young man once he hears what his exact plan is.]