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Video | UN: hijikata | Irregular Quest: Keep a Man out of the Sun for a Day

[It's after dinnertime on another rainy evening when a new video pops up on AOL. Hijikata has never posted anything on the network before (beyond responses to other people), so he's not exactly a familiar face... but those who do know him may be surprised by the changes to his outfit and the large black wings on his back. He looks a lot more composed than usual and gives the camera a slow blink before starting to speak.]

My name is Arashi. I am the familiar of Hijikata-san, whose body I am inhabiting by means of familiar fusion to bring you this message. I am afraid that I find myself in need of some assistance.

[He seems to be in a hotel room, and attentive listeners may be able to catch the occasional high-pitched little noise in the background, as if there were guinea pigs or other small pets running around. Arashi keeps a straight face.]

It has come to my attention that Hijikata-san has been struggling to reverse the impact of the wishes that were made about two months ago. I cannot maintain the familiar fusion state for very long, so I seek the support of anyone willing and able to keep him away from the sunlight for a day.

[What the reclusive crow tengu isn't telling the viewers: due to the heavy rains he decided to check on his bond partner, only to find his hotel room full of mayonnaise mascots. When the flooding began Hijikata had fetched them in a panic from the smallholding farm the owners of which had been letting him keep them in an enclosure, and their presence immediately made it clear to Arashi that he never fixed his messed-up magic. Hijikata had just finished preparing a familiar fusion essence in his room for later use in an emergency, and ultimately it was used much sooner as a result of the ensuing fight.]

Please come to Room 306 at the main inn if you are interested. I cannot offer gold, but I am able to train users of wind magic and help awaken it for novice users of elemental magic, or otherwise I can offer some rare items.

Just as a warning, there are some... creatures here.

[The mayonnaise mascots are harmless, but kind of creepy looking in his opinion. They are unnatural, wholly unnatural. The sooner they disappear the better.]

(OOC: This is open for anyone, no dibs (after all we've got time loops happening around here!). Villains and pranksters are also welcome (after all Arashi is such an absent familiar that he wouldn't be able to tell who Hijikata's friends are, or if he has any at all). If you'd like to plot anything specific out I have my CR meme post here!)

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[Arashi can tell how taken aback Mukuro is. She clearly can't believe that Hijikata failed to do such a simple job... well, honestly, he can hardly believe it either.]

The creatures are not hostile. They seem to be completely harmless. However we could meet somewhere else if you would prefer that.

[Right, he can move around in Hijikata's body. He hasn't been fused with anyone before, and it takes some getting used to.]

If they're not hostile that's fine... seriously, that dumbass...

[Yeah, definitely worried.]

I'm on my way. Hold the line and I'll see what I can do when I get there.

Alright. You have my gratitude.

[She'll find the hotel room door closed (so the mascots don't run out) but unlocked, and if she knocks Arashi will let her in. While his body and voice are clearly Hijikata's, wings and outfit aside, his mannerisms and speech are so different that it might as well be another man altogether. He curiously looks Mukuro over. She's so young... before they address the matter at hand, though, she's bound to see the mostly naked gnome-looking creatures running around. She's probably going to have questions about that.]

[After gathering a couple of supplies - mostly bottled water and snacks - Junko made her way up to the room, giving a quick knock.]

Hey, it's Junko, we spoke on the- the fuck?

[She's just closing the door and staring at the creepy mascot creatures. Hijikata. What. How. Why.]

[Arashi is visibly embarrassed... however the mascots seem to like Mukuro, for whatever reason. Perhaps they function as an echo of Hijikata's sentiments on some primitive level, but who the hell knows for sure? In any case they start running up to her on their stumpy legs, waving and reaching for her hands.]

Thank you for coming, Junko-san. Hijikata-san will be able to provide you with more information about these creatures. All I know is that he, to my best understanding, created them with the powers granted to him two months ago, and has been non-compliant with the remedy in order to hold on to them.

[This sounds insane because look at these things. How could anyone want to keep them around?!]

Do you believe that you can convince him to change his stance? Much as it pains me to admit, Hijikata-san can be a very... strong-minded person.

[And that's putting it mildly.]

Jeeze and I thought Monokuma was a weird looking mascot...

[And why was it they seemed to like her?? That made this even more creepy.]

...Oh- I know one of the girls I ran into made everything look like her boyfriend when that was affecting her, I'm guessing it's the same kinda thing?

But seriously, two months...yeah, I'll talk to him and-

[Nudging the weird creepy things away with her foot don't mind her.]

-see what I can do. If need be I'll call Fenrir here to sit on him.

[One mascot falls on its back as it staggers away and comically struggles like a beetle, flailing its short limbs while making distressed high-pitched sounds. A few others swarm in to help it up while Arashi pretends not to see any of that, focusing his eyes on Mukuro. Her concerned reaction felt so sincere from the first moment on, he feels no need to vet her. A crow tengu's trust is not easily won, so kudos for that!]

Fenrir is your bond partner, I assume?

[Hopefully for Hijikata it's not a golem or something else heavy... but honestly, that might make him comply a lot faster.]

If you have no further preparations to make I will release Hijikata-san from the fusion now, but otherwise I can hold it a little longer yet.

[Junko just stared at the distressed mascot as it flailed. These things just got weirder and creepier by the minute- but hey, perhaps for just how weird they were they could have a combat use if the goal was distraction or utterly disturbing the enemy...

But Hijikata probably wouldn't like the idea of calling them cannon fodder, would he?

Sighing, she returned her attention to Arashi. It really was surreal, how different his body language was from Hijikata's own... which made sense, his familiar was an entirely different person, but given how in sync she'd felt with Fenrir, she thought they'd be a little more similar.]

Yeah... she's a good girl. A Hellhound. She doesn't normally stick around in the room with me because it's a bit cramped for her liking, but yeah, if it comes to that then so be it.

...I think I'm good. Arashi, right? Nice to meet you.

[He keeps a serious expression as he offers her a graceful bow of his head.]

Likewise, Junko-san. I am indebted to you. I hope you will not need to call Fenrir-san here.

[Mysterious fog shrouds his form out of nowhere as he dissolves the fusion, and before it can even dissipate a commotion immediately kicks off. A crow shoots out of the fog, which disperses to reveal a furious Hijikata in hot pursuit.]

Junko!! Get him!! Don't let him escape!

[Even in crow form the tengu can still speak, and he's clearly in need of some assistance.]

Junko-san, please-- the door, or a window--

[Once the Tengu has broken free, she rushes to the window and opens it- after all, if she opened the door there was a risk of the weird mascots escaping!

That done, she turned to Hijikata with her hands on her hips.]

No. We seriously need to talk.

What'd you do that for?! The bastard possessed me!! I know he told you to keep me out of the sun, but he didn't even let me get a word in!

[To be fair, Arashi couldn't have done that even if he wanted to, given that it was him in full control of Hijikata's body. The man is clearly pissed off, exhaling through his nose like an angry bull, but a few mascots come toddling up to him, and their little hands reaching up at him seems to calm him down a bit. He picks one of them up.]

It's okay, Mayorin. She's a friend.

'Cause you've been avoiding staying out the sun since, like, February! You know your magic's gonna go totally haywire right?

[Just side-eyeing the mascots. Nope, for all his anger she wasn't intimidated.]

...More than just making...whatever those are, anyway.

[Honestly, if she had been intimidated he would have felt bad. They're friends, right? Her aggravation shows that she's on eye level with him, even if they're having an argument. Of course he isn't actually thinking about that right now; he's focused of defending his creations.]

I only got crappy magic to begin with! And what's wrong with them?!

[He rubs the Mayorin's back, and it lets out a gurgling giggle.]

Okay, first off- what even are they?

[It was like he was tending to a baby with the way he held it like that- and with their creepy appearance, it was all the more weird.]

Mayorin is the mascot of Edo's best mayonnaise brand, Mayorin mayonnaise.

[He pats the weird creature on the mostly bald head, and it clearly enjoys the attention and keeps giggling.]

Isn't he cute?

Uhh... I mean, I've seen weirder mascots I guess... they have a kinda- weird-cute appeal I guess?

[Would she choose Monokuma over these abominations?

...On second thought don't make her answer that.

She's just trying not to insult them, given how Hijikata seemed very attached to the things. Come to think of it, given how distraught he's gonna be when they disappear... she would probably need to make plans.]

Mind if I grab a pic on my phone of them?

[Speaking of Monokuma, they have a lot to discuss... but maybe they can settle in with these mascots first and ease into that conversation later. Hijikata is visibly happy that she's taking an interest in the Mayorins.]

Go for it! They make for really cute wallpapers.

[He points the camera out to the mascot so it turns the right way.]

Mayorin, smile for Junko, okay?

[It does, and so does he. Even if it's really not very cute, she'll certainly be able to get a few clear snapshots.]

[It was all Junko could do not to wince at how weird this whole image looked- but for now, she'll take a few photos of the mascots. Right. At least that would mean she had a reference point for them.

She wasn't sure exactly what she was going to do with said reference point, but she knew she'd have to do something to help him get over losing those things.]

There we go- all done, thanks.

[Jeeze...this wasn't going to be easy. Her sister was better at talking to people than she was.]

So you've just been touching random stuff and it's been turning into those... Mayonnaise Mascots.

...You know it's gonna cause serious problems if, like, that fire power of yours starts randomly burning your crap, right?

[If he knew how thoughtful she's being about his impending loss he'd be really touched, but at the moment he's honestly still in denial of her being serious about making him stay out of the sunlight. Her question makes him blink in confusion.]

Hm? No, that's not what happened. I didn't turn random stuff into these, I just made them out of nothing. And my fire magic isn't out of control, it's the opposite. I can't summon it at all anymore.

[Whenever he tries the flames don't even manifest but just immediately blow up in a sooty blast that leaves him dirty as hell, so he's mostly given up on it.]

Right...okay so that's kinda different to what happened to Kyrie...but wait, your magic seriously isn't working at all?

[That wasn't helpful either!]

Like, I don't exactly use my magic much but can't you see the problem here??

Honestly? No!

[He's about to go on a rant (while still holding the Mayorin).]

My primary magic was only good for setting stuff on fire from the get-go! It did more harm than good! And for benign purposes I've still got my lighter, so nothing was lost! And my secondary magic is more of a curse! Do you know what I got? I got death magic! I've been seeing horrifying ghosts everywhere! What the hell is that even good for?! Only creepy ghost fanatics would have any use for it!

Meanwhile the magic I got from those messed-up wishes lets me make nice things for myself and others! If you want something, just let me know! I'll make it for you!

[Never mind that he'll need to really concentrate on what he's creating to not end up with some kind of horrible chimera.]

If you try and make stuff now you're just gonna make more of those mascots!

[A heavy sigh.]

Death magic, huh- okay, look, I see your point, but we dunno what's gonna happen if you just avoid staying out the sun forever. Sure it's giving you nice things now but from what I gather it's gonna implode on itself eventually.

And, like, I don't wanna clear up the mess if you do implode. So there.

That's fair, I guess.

[Snarky as he sounds, Mukuro really shouldn't be the one having to deal with this mess. That damn crow, why'd he have to drag her in? Well, because she was concerned and wanted to help Hijikata... ugh, this makes it really hard for him to keep being petulant about the matter. More importantly, what about her? Does anyone else on this island even know what sort of horror movie scenario she's been through back home? She seems so well-adjusted, and maybe she really is just one of those people who can walk away from a demented murder game without any trauma, but he wants to get certainty.]

Look, all this aside there's something I want to talk about with you. We can go sit outside; I want a smoke.

[It's night already, so he won't be catching any sunlight.]

[Junko had no issue with the snark- after all, she was being somewhat snarky herself. Still, when he said that there was something he wanted to talk about, she raised an eyebrow.]

Huh- yeah, sure, I don't mind.

[She did take a glance out the window first, just to make sure it was actually dark by now, and then headed back toward the door.]

Are these...little guys gonna be fine if we just leave them here?

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Video | UN: hijikata | Irregular Quest: Keep a Man out of the Sun for a Day

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