avalononline | Video | UN: hijikata | Irregular Quest: Keep a Man out of the Sun for a Day

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Video | UN: hijikata | Irregular Quest: Keep a Man out of the Sun for a Day

[It's after dinnertime on another rainy evening when a new video pops up on AOL. Hijikata has never posted anything on the network before (beyond responses to other people), so he's not exactly a familiar face... but those who do know him may be surprised by the changes to his outfit and the large black wings on his back. He looks a lot more composed than usual and gives the camera a slow blink before starting to speak.]

My name is Arashi. I am the familiar of Hijikata-san, whose body I am inhabiting by means of familiar fusion to bring you this message. I am afraid that I find myself in need of some assistance.

[He seems to be in a hotel room, and attentive listeners may be able to catch the occasional high-pitched little noise in the background, as if there were guinea pigs or other small pets running around. Arashi keeps a straight face.]

It has come to my attention that Hijikata-san has been struggling to reverse the impact of the wishes that were made about two months ago. I cannot maintain the familiar fusion state for very long, so I seek the support of anyone willing and able to keep him away from the sunlight for a day.

[What the reclusive crow tengu isn't telling the viewers: due to the heavy rains he decided to check on his bond partner, only to find his hotel room full of mayonnaise mascots. When the flooding began Hijikata had fetched them in a panic from the smallholding farm the owners of which had been letting him keep them in an enclosure, and their presence immediately made it clear to Arashi that he never fixed his messed-up magic. Hijikata had just finished preparing a familiar fusion essence in his room for later use in an emergency, and ultimately it was used much sooner as a result of the ensuing fight.]

Please come to Room 306 at the main inn if you are interested. I cannot offer gold, but I am able to train users of wind magic and help awaken it for novice users of elemental magic, or otherwise I can offer some rare items.

Just as a warning, there are some... creatures here.

[The mayonnaise mascots are harmless, but kind of creepy looking in his opinion. They are unnatural, wholly unnatural. The sooner they disappear the better.]

(OOC: This is open for anyone, no dibs (after all we've got time loops happening around here!). Villains and pranksters are also welcome (after all Arashi is such an absent familiar that he wouldn't be able to tell who Hijikata's friends are, or if he has any at all). If you'd like to plot anything specific out I have my CR meme post here!)

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[Hijikata with his fourth-wall savviness would be interested in hearing about who or what it is that Sagi keeps talking to - if it's his RPG interface AI, or a ghost that lives inside his head, or whatever else. But since Sagi is taking it upon himself to handle the situation for now he gets to sleep a little longer.

The Mayorins don't seem to take offence to Sagi toppling one of them; instead they enthusiastically nod in response to his question, some also clapping and jumping up and down (albeit quite plumply). All they seem to be able to say besides "Uhyoo" appears to be "Mayo", Mayomayo", "Mayomayomayo" and so on. Hijikata really outdid himself in creating them...]

Well, they know what a yes or no question is... [But what does some condiment have to do with anything? Mysterious.] OK, I'll open it. Just don't make a ruckus.

[Hijikata is still (somehow) asleep, after all. The same can no longer be said of Sagi's familiar after Sagi opens the fridge door - it stirs from its slumber with a pronounced snarl, lifts its head to glare in the direction of the offending sound, then flops back down. How convenient it is that the second pair of eyes in the back of its head allows it to stare up at Hijikata's bed and across at the gathered mascots without having to move!]

[It has eyes in the back too??? This gets worse and worse! Ultimately what wakes Hijikata up is not the mascots' over-the-top rejoicing at finally being given eggs (those are the only thing in the fridge besides bottles of mayonnaise, and they'll helpfully point them out with extreme intensity), but the beast's deep, low, grumbling, distinctly un-"uhyoo" noise. He blearily opens his eyes just a little, then groans as he tries to stretch and finds himself still tied to the bed's headboard.]

Sagi! Untie me! I need to go to the bathroom.

[Is it true, or is he bullshitting? Well, if he's lying now he probably won't be lying later. It's still a few hours until dusk after all... not that he'd be able to tell either way, what with the blinds and curtains closed.]

[Sagi looks up from the egg he was in the middle of handing over to another of the mascots. It took a couple more rounds of prodding and uhyoo-ing before he realised that they wanted to be fed instead of just going to sit in the fridge, but it seems he got there in the end.] Oh, you're awake.

[Awake and presenting yet another dilemma Sagi didn't really think about when he made this plan yesterday. He doesn't think about it twice now, either; he's not out to torture anyone, and it would be reasonable for Hijikata to have resigned himself to the situation by this point, so untying him should be fine, right? After conscientiously closing the fridge door, he steps over the mascots and goes to free his captive.

...But not before the horned monster by the bed can rise to its clawed feet, lumber past both of them and plant itself squarely in the hotel room doorway. If that happens to put the bathroom door in tentacle-twitching range as well, that is simply a price Hijikata might have to pay. A silent, wordless whisper arrives in Sagi's mind when it stares back at him: Don't be a complete fool, kid, or you'll have to come back and do this again.]

...Huh? It's okay, I'm sure he wouldn't run.

[Its efforts are lost on Sagi, who just goes ahead and unties Hijikata once he can actually reach him. It doesn't take long.]

[Oh, Sagi. Hijikata is one of the most stubborn and hard-headed men in Edo (and now in Avalon). He'll fight until the last possible moment to save his precious Mayorins from disappearing, and he'll be as cunning and underhanded as he needs to be... or rather, all of that would apply if there weren't a huge creepy monster in his room that stares at him with way too many eyes that know way too much about his intentions!!

As he heads into the bathroom, grumpily cracking his joints and rubbing his stiff neck, he mentally calculates how many seconds it would take him to let even just one ray of daylight into the room. Alas, while he might manage to throw the curtains open there's simply no way he could roll up the blinds before the beast would snatch him. God damn it.

He spends more time in the bathroom than planned, actually taking a shower to feel a little more alive after the grotty night, so when he comes out dusk is ever closer... but he has decided on a new approach in the meantime, so his expression is friendly.]

Thank for feeding the Mayorins. You know, I think they like having some new friends over.

I thought they mostly liked getting fed.

[Speaking of which, Sagi hasn't eaten, and it's beginning to grate on him now that he's properly awake. He's doing an admirable job of still sounding calm, but Hijikata's long, refreshing shower gave him plenty of time to start getting antsy again. If he had something to boil an egg in, he might have tried improvising with his familiar's elemental magic and made an even bigger mess in here; having found nothing of the sort, he just wants out.

Not for long, obviously. That would be irresponsible. Arashi would be really disappointed. Just a nice, brief walk outside in the pouring rain, where interacting with other people isn't as mandatory...

He gets up from the armchair he'd been trying to settle down in. Yeah, a walk to a grocery store and back should clear his head, and then he'll be fine. A jog, even. His familiar will be here to hold down the fort, and possibly bodily hold Hijikata down too.]

I'm just heading out to get some food for us. Are you sure you don't want me to write down what you need?

Wait, wait! I said I'd treat everyone and order in, didn't I?

[Even if he has to shell out for a half-dozen extra pizzas or a few chicken wing buckets for the beast, he'll do it!]

What do you want? I'm sure they have something you like around here!

[He grabs his phone, ready to pull up any restaurant menu Sagi desires. Little does he know that he primarily wants to go out to clear his head.]

No, it's OK, really. We couldn't impose like that -

[He stops, lowering the hand he just raised to try and wave away Hijikata's concerns. His familiar just turned its head slightly to catch his eye. Once it has his attention, it gives him a very pointed mental nudge.]

Oh. You... sense that he's scared of being left with you.

[This might have been reasonable for someone else to just put together from Hijikata's sudden attitude changes around it instead of relying on spooky monster vibes, but Sagi needed the help. Except... now he looks conflicted. He scratches his chin, frowning down at the bed's headboard instead of keeping an eye on Hijikata. Obviously, the less traumatic this is, the better for everyone involved...]

But that means we can't go out yet. What do we do now, Marno?

[He's muttering again, albeit barely a notch below his normal speaking volume. Please hold while the equivalent of muffled elevator music goes on in his head. Thinking doesn't come easily to Sagi at the best of times, let alone when he's been cooped up for a little while.]

What? Who's scared?! I'm not scared!

[This is bad!! The one thing worse than being left alone with the hideous beast is Sagi thinking he's a feeble-hearted coward!!]

Listen, whatever he says, it's not true!! I totally don't mind hanging out with him while you're gone! It really just didn't want you to get rained on and have to shell out for all of us at the supermarket!

[Why's he suddenly calling the creature 'he' rather than 'it'? Honestly, it just sounds less rude said out loud. He catches Sagi's muttering...]

If you absolutely insist, then go! I'll stay cozy here with Marno! That's his name, yeah?

What? [It's Sagi's turn to stare, incredulous, at Hijikata - not nearly as intimidating a stare as his familiar's, but still a rare expression to see on his face. He's normally just credulous.] No, his name is Red. Marno is my other friend's name.

[Red is what he decided on a few days ago, at least. He still sounds a little hesitant about naming the horrible creature at all, in contrast to how offhandedly he names his "other friend"; obviously, nothing about the monster is coloured anything close to red. Regardless, his train of thought is well and truly derailed now.]

It's OK, I promise. I know what he looks like. Um, if you order in after all, I'll pay you back... I just need a minute.

[He ducks inside the vacated bathroom and closes the door, thereby leaving Hijikata alone with the silently glaring monster anyway. Hopefully no stray Mayorins pop up in there while nature calls, because otherwise he really shouldn't need longer than that to make a decision. He already mostly made it, to be honest.]

Your other friend?

[What other friend... it's just them in here, right? Sagi, Hijikata, the beast - Red -, and a dozen Mayorins (which are still all gathered around the kitchenette right now). But before Hijikata can inquire further Sagi excuses himself and disappears into the bathroom. Alright, fair enough.]

...

[He looks at Red. Why the hell did Sagi name it that when it's mainly greenish?!]

Hey... that Marno character isn't... a ghost, right?

[If Red understands him, then it can at least give him a headshake, surely. Please give him a headshake. He doesn't want to have had a ghost in his hotel room all night!!]

[The poorly-named greenish-brown monster... twitches its tentacles almost thoughtfully at the question. While it has little investment in human affairs, it certainly doesn't think of Sagi's "friend" as human, or else it wouldn't let itself get ordered around like this. Nonverbally explaining the exact nature of something that is part spirit, part zombie, part deity and part videogame interface, however... No, on reflection, it decides it doesn't care enough to try. It lowers its head to fix both pairs of eyes on Hijikata, but does not extend him the courtesy of a headshake.

It isn't too long after this that Sagi reemerges from the bathroom, though he did spend extra time in there to wash his face and neaten the place up a little. He's definitely cheered up again after getting a moment to himself. The small things in life are what make it worthwhile without his girlfriend, you know?]

Alright, we'll stay inside until tonight. It sounds easiest that way. Did you order food in the end?

[He didn't hear anything while he was in there. The door was closed, and besides, eavesdropping is kind of rude.]

[Yeah, that would be hard to explain without words (even with words, really). Sagi finds the two of them sitting across from each other in awkward silence that's almost palpable until he breaks it.]

Ah, sorry, no, not yet. I... wanted to ask what exactly you want first. Both of you, that is.

[He's slowly really resigning himself to the fact that he's going to not only lose his Mayorins but spend his last few hours with them supervised by Sagi (okay) and Red (not okay). This sucks!! But maybe it could be worse. Sagi could have left him tied up until nightfall, which would have been really bad for his bladder and his nerves.]

Both of - [This takes Sagi a second, but this time he can be excused on account of being chronically unable to tell whether he counts as one person or two.] Oh, me and Red. ... I don't think he eats. Magic is what keeps them going.

[So what is its wide, toothy maw for? Who knows. The creature makes no motion to confirm or deny this, other than its elbow tentacles continuing to wriggle with a mind of their own.]

And I already said I didn't mind. [Sagi would rather not dwell on the topic of his familiar too much, either.] A sandwich, I guess. Or whatever has a discount.

[He could leave it at that, but - the silence when he walked back in really was awkward.]

...Are you OK?

[Yes, he really is asking that after barging into a guy's hotel room and trying to hold him hostage for a day.]

[So this creature doesn't even eat... but people think his Mayorins are unnatural, huh? What a double standard! (Never mind that most people probably find Red equally creepy, if not far moreso.) As for the whole intervention, Hijikata has gotten worse treatment from his own peers back home, so he actually holds no grudge against Sagi (his current feelings towards Arashi, though, are a different matter).]

I'm okay, yeah.

[TIME TO BE NONCHALANT. Upsetting as it is, he's not going to have an emotional breakdown on this kid or anything! He can be composed and dignified over the loss of his cute companions. This is fine.]

Let me see what's on offer, then.

[He checks AOL on his phone and sure enough soon finds a 'party discount' for a small feast including burgers, chips (aka fries), and drinks. It'll probably be enough to feed about 6 people, but he's damn hungry, and Sagi can take any leftovers with him for later if he wants to. He briefly calls the restaurant to place the order and pays online. Avalon sure made financial transactions easy and convenient.]

They should be here within the next half hour.

[He picks up a Mayorin that comes toddling over and rubs its back. He may as well just try to enjoy their company while he can. At least he'll be able to light his cigarettes with a flick of his fingers again... and he did promise his death magic "mentors" to revisit Loch Manor. Yeah, he's not really looking forward to that. But speaking of his secondary magic...]

Say, what new magic type did you end up with the other month?

[While Hijikata places the order, Sagi occupies himself by tidying up the towel nest he made on the floor overnight. Even if they're the inn's towels, he may as well spare them some hassle. He can't help but smile a shade wistfully at the Mayorin that goes waddling over to Hijikata, though - he still hasn't made the logical leap to realise that these things will vanish when Hijikata's magic is fixed, and he still thinks they're awfully creepy-looking, but it's clear that Hijikata cares for them. It helps that they seem harmless after all.

He looks up again at the question, halfway through folding a towel.]

Uh, well... my phone started talking to me. Sometimes I talk back.

[He looks sheepish about both the underwhelming magic itself and the clumsy description. The latter is still the best he's thought of since it started happening, despite it making him feel like he's just steadily fabricating a longer and longer list of things that only talk to him inside his head.]

Supposedly, there's a lot you can do with that. I just don't know how. I didn't grow up with machina the way they use them here. And... practising on other people's phones feels invasive.

[Which rules out, like, half of the possible applications he's managed to read about to date. Convincing someone else's computer to do things it shouldn't, sending things to it that they didn't ask for... Why would anyone recommend those in the first place?]

[Hijikata takes note of Sagi's tidiness. Come to think, sleeping on that makeshift bed can't have been all that comfortable... this boy is really dutiful, Hijikata will give him that, even if he easily got roped into what he still considers a total betrayal by Arashi. He perks up as Sagi describes his new magic.]

Oh, technomancy! I haven't met anyone else who has that, I just saw a few people post about it on the network. That should be really handy for investigations, reconnaissance and whatnot... if you want you can practice with our phones. We've never talked on the network, right? Maybe you can ask your phone to find the user account associated with me and then give me a call. Let's see if it can do that.

[Sure, his username is 'hijikata' (and his "undercover" username is 'mayorinfan35', which... yeah), so the phone will have an easy time with that, but depending on how much data it can sieve through chances are it might be able to find less obvious people based on the content of their network posts and such (which would be a huge data security problem, but such is like with magitech).]

You don't mind?

[Sagi considers admitting that he already remembers Hijikata's username from Arashi hijacking it earlier, but... Hijikata does appear to have calmed down by this point, tentacle monster in the doorway notwithstanding. Better not jeopardise that.

Instead, he sets the towel down on the dresser and pulls his phone out of his pocket. He absolutely slept on top of it by accident last night, and it absolutely does not occur to him that this might not be a good habit to get into. Machines are sturdier than people, right? At least if you don't do anything too stupid with them.]

I don't know why now, but we can try.

[He looks over at Hijikata's phone. Making an audio transmission sounds simple enough, similar to some of the suggestions at that "career" fair. Knowing the relevant username in advance should only make it easier, he figures. All that's left is verbally convincing his phone to do it instead of poking at the screen. Maybe err on the forceful side, the ex-military side, just to make sure something actually happens... His brow creases as he concentrates on the target username with all his might.] Phone, contact the target machine.

[That is, he's concentrating on the username to the exclusion of concentrating on what type of magic he's actually channelling. Sure enough, Hijikata's phone will ring - at the exact same moment as it emits a burst of white light, blinding inside the drawn curtains of the hotel room, like a highly localised flashbang. In the corner of the room, Red recoils from the flash with a pronounced snarl; having four eyes means it just got dazzled twice over.]

No, not like that! Stop it! [Sagi's obvious surprise is tinged with a little frustration. He's certainly quick to shield his eyes with one hand before fumbling with his own phone in the other.] Again...

[The light magic has already dissipated by the time he manages to hang up on the call in the normal fashion. Its afterimage may stick around for a moment longer. It was pretty damn bright.]

[SAGI NO don't sleep on your phone... presumably these aren't as sturdy as 90's bricks! Meanwhile Hijikata should really consider locking his phone instead of leaving it accessible for all and sundry including his concerned familiar. He patiently observes Sagi's efforts until the sudden blinding brightness kicks in.]

What are you doing?!

[He's shielding his eyes too, blindly grasping for his phone to decline the call and hopefully stop the blaze, but Sagi beats him to it. Everyone (including the Mayorins) needs a moment before their eyes adjust back to the normal lamp light.]

What the hell was that?

[He's not so much angry as perplexed. Seriously, what the hell was that?]

[Too bad the Mayorins' squinty old man eyes weren't squinty enough to protect them.

Sagi sighs. Thank goodness this particular failure happened when the stakes were low, unlike bringing the wrong elements to a monster fight.] The wrong magic type. Sorry.

[But he manages a self-deprecating smile at the same time, already casting around for a more positive spin on it. It's a learned habit.]

At least the "contact" part of it worked. Thanks for letting us try. We'll just have to work on our control.

[Even though he already basically admitted he has nothing else to practise on that doesn't feel invasive. For now, he just sets his phone aside. Time to pick another towel up off the floor and pretend that didn't happen.]

[The little mayo gnomes are all rubbing their beady eyes synchronously, like video game mob enemies after a stun attack, while making dizzy gibberish sounds. Hijikata appreciates Sagi's good attitude, but he's also increasingly feeling bad for him. He really doesn't seem to be from a world with many (if any) electronics), so this secondary magic has to be about as confusing and unwelcome for him as Hijikata's death magic is for him.]

I still think it's a good, versatile magic you've got there. If you can practice and eventually better control what you just did on accident it can make a useful long-distance attack! Imagine getting information about someone being about to commit a crime or do something stupid - you can just ask the phone to call that person, and once they pick up you can blind them, or maybe make the phone blast a noise loud enough to take them out of commission for a moment.

Or let's assume someone goes missing - you can ask your phone to give you the person's location on the map so you can lead or direct a rescue mission there. If the other person has their phone on them yours should be able to track it down.

[There's got to be more than just phones for Sagi to work with, though...]

And if you don't like to cook maybe you can simply tell your stove to turn itself off when the food is done, and things like that. A stove is enough of a machine, right? Hell, maybe you can even tell a pachinko machine to give you a big win. You didn't hear that one from me, though.

[Honestly, chances are Camelot City has no pachinko parlours, so at least Sagi won't find become a gambler... or at least not for that game.]

...Should I be taking notes?

[Wait, that came out more dismissive than he meant it. Those all sound like decent ideas to try eventually, with the exception of that incomprehensible last one, and it's not like Hijikata should care about his slightly fraught history with machines.]

No, you've got a point. There must be ways to practise it that don't involve stealing or hijacking anything... We can't go home if we never figure it out. I just don't think your... pets?... want me to try again right now.

[They sure look stunned to him! Would that all monsters were this easy to stagger.]

Yeah... aw, Mayorin, come here.

[He crouches down to soothingly rub the ugly things' naked backs and otherwise comfort them, and that's when there's a knock on the door.]

That's got to be our food. Can you get it?

[Sure enough it is the delivery person who hands over several big bags to Sagi. Immediately the smell of fast food wafts through the room, and Hijikata's empty stomach grumbles. With the Mayorins sufficiently calmed down he gets up, grabs a couple of mayonnaise bottles, and clears the small table by the armchair.]

Just take everything out! I don't really care who gets what. Here, you can use my mayonnaise too if they only gave us ketchup satchets.

[In a rare moment of foresight, Sagi beckons his familiar to the back of the room before answering the door, mostly because he couldn't have reached the handle while it was still sitting there. The poor delivery person may still have caught a glimpse of baleful orange eyes in the shadows as they handed the bags over, and may have practically dropped the last bag on Sagi's foot before running away... Oh well, he tried. Rather than dwell on this, he just carries the bags over to the table and starts to unload them.]

Was this really cheapest? There's so much of it...

[He has to stack three burger boxes on top of each other to make room on the table for them. They look decidedly precarious, like one stray mascot's prodding could topple them.]

Wait, did you order for all of them, too?

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Video | UN: hijikata | Irregular Quest: Keep a Man out of the Sun for a Day

Continued from above (to avoid pagestretching)!

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