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Video | UN: hijikata | Irregular Quest: Keep a Man out of the Sun for a Day

[It's after dinnertime on another rainy evening when a new video pops up on AOL. Hijikata has never posted anything on the network before (beyond responses to other people), so he's not exactly a familiar face... but those who do know him may be surprised by the changes to his outfit and the large black wings on his back. He looks a lot more composed than usual and gives the camera a slow blink before starting to speak.]

My name is Arashi. I am the familiar of Hijikata-san, whose body I am inhabiting by means of familiar fusion to bring you this message. I am afraid that I find myself in need of some assistance.

[He seems to be in a hotel room, and attentive listeners may be able to catch the occasional high-pitched little noise in the background, as if there were guinea pigs or other small pets running around. Arashi keeps a straight face.]

It has come to my attention that Hijikata-san has been struggling to reverse the impact of the wishes that were made about two months ago. I cannot maintain the familiar fusion state for very long, so I seek the support of anyone willing and able to keep him away from the sunlight for a day.

[What the reclusive crow tengu isn't telling the viewers: due to the heavy rains he decided to check on his bond partner, only to find his hotel room full of mayonnaise mascots. When the flooding began Hijikata had fetched them in a panic from the smallholding farm the owners of which had been letting him keep them in an enclosure, and their presence immediately made it clear to Arashi that he never fixed his messed-up magic. Hijikata had just finished preparing a familiar fusion essence in his room for later use in an emergency, and ultimately it was used much sooner as a result of the ensuing fight.]

Please come to Room 306 at the main inn if you are interested. I cannot offer gold, but I am able to train users of wind magic and help awaken it for novice users of elemental magic, or otherwise I can offer some rare items.

Just as a warning, there are some... creatures here.

[The mayonnaise mascots are harmless, but kind of creepy looking in his opinion. They are unnatural, wholly unnatural. The sooner they disappear the better.]

(OOC: This is open for anyone, no dibs (after all we've got time loops happening around here!). Villains and pranksters are also welcome (after all Arashi is such an absent familiar that he wouldn't be able to tell who Hijikata's friends are, or if he has any at all). If you'd like to plot anything specific out I have my CR meme post here!)

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[Man Hijikata is just a good buddy all around, isn't he. What a trustworthy dude, Zel will never doubt him again.

Aside from right this second, as he stares at the insane amount of mayo that Hijikata has just splortched all over this sandwich.]

Uh. Sure, I'll... maybe just a little bit.

[He puts a VERY LITTLE BIT of mayo on his sandwich, like a normal goddamn person. He's also about to discover soft drinks for the first time, the face he makes in response to drinking that is even more alarmed than he one he'd made when Hijikata had decided that his sandwich just needed to be mayonnaise.]

What is that!? It just tastes like pure sugar!

Yeah, that's pretty much what lemonade is. I'm not a big fan either.

[He drinks it anyway as he devours his mayo-laden sandwich in record time, a testament to how hungry he is, before moving on to the chips, which get the same treatment.]

You know, we should go questing together against one of these days. I noticed that a lot of really sketchy stuff gets posted nowadays, so there's a dire need of someone doing damage control.

[Bleugh no he can have Zel's drink too, it is too many sugar. As for the food, he annihilates his pretty much as fast as Hijikata. He just kind of tries not to think about all that goddamn mayo while he does so.]

Yeah, I've noticed that too. Maybe the next quest we do will actually present something of a challenge.

Well, if you ever want me for one, just say the word. I went on some challenging ones since our last one! Oh, and I helped get some of those dragon babies back to the mountains last month, that was quite the trek.

[On second thought he's not going to explicitly mention nearly getting killed by a dullahan and failing to catch a jewelry thief (but hey, at least he got the jewels back!), because both of those were more or less inglorious. Speaking of things that happened last month, though...]

Did you also get pulled into anyone else's world during that dream share flower sleep?

[He will definitely look Hijikata up the next time there's a job. He nods, but then is very quickly confused by the next stuff Hijikata says.]

Flower sleep? Uh, no, that doesn't sound familiar to me at all. What happened?

[He'd missed the whole thing, which is probably for the best.]

Oh wow, were you out of town for the spring equinox?

[This is going to be one hell of an event summary.]

There was a big masquerade ball at the castle, and it was pretty fun, but when it was over the whole city had been taken over by huge-ass flowers. Like, bathtub-sized.

[He was drunk as hell at that point, which kind of made the whole situation easier to take in... but unfortunately it also made it easier for Okita to stuff him into a flower that looked suspiciously like a rafflesia.]

Apparently that happens every year. Those flowers were filled with a glowy mystery liquid, and once we all got in - everyone was doing it, okay - our minds got connected and we could all visit each other's worlds through memories. I know this sounds like a load of crock, but it really worked that way. I ended up with four entire lifetimes' worth of memories from different wolds, and let me tell you, it's a lot to deal with.

[He's serious. Sometimes when he's had a beer too many at the pub he thinks he's back in Tevinter, Teyvat, or one of three different Earths, his own included.]

Ah, right. I'm not big on parties, so I think I was doing something else.

[What that something else was, I have no idea. Maybe he was sleeping or camping or something..]

Just because everyone was doing it doesn't mean you should? But, whatever. You're saying you still have other people's memories? I've never heard of such a thing, other than in cases of reincarnation or something.

[He'd love to clarify that he's completely on Zelgadis's page regarding the herd mentality thing, but that'd require admitting that he was drunkenly brute-forced into participating, which is about equally embarrassing... so he just moves on to the next part, shaking his head at the other question.]

No, not other people's memories. Memories of what my life would've been like if I'd been born in their worlds. I honestly still have no idea how that happened. My best guess is that those weird hivemind flowers read everybody's minds and then churned out fake memories for us and merged our dreams together. It really astounds me.

[A Mayorin toddles over, and he absently strokes its head as it scrambles onto his lap. He's not really keeping his eyes on the clock...]

[This conversation is so goddamn weird, even Zel's lost track of the time. This world is all kinds of fucked up.]

That's... okay, that's even stranger than what I was thinking. Part of me wishes I hadn't missed it, because I would really like to find out how those flowers work. At the same time though, I'm kind of okay with not finding out first hand.

Maybe something similar will happen during the winter solstice? But then that's not really a time for flowers, is it.

[He downs the rest of his sickeningly sweet lemonade and finishes up his chips, then sighs.]

When you're done too can we go down so I can smoke? I'm really feeling the withdrawal, so don't say no. I'm sure it's already dark outside, so--

[Wait a moment--]

[The sun is disappearing behind the horizon as he speaks, and the Mayorin on his lap promptly disintegrates into nothing (along with the other ones scattered around the room). In the sudden absence of their squeaky little noises the room suddenly feels awfully quiet.]

...

[Okay, he really needs the smoke now. It's taking a lot of self-control for him to not break into dramatics, but Zelgadis has already seen enough of that when he initially came to help Arashi with this intervention.]

[On the one hand, I mean yeah, this was the goal. Hurray, Hijikata's magic is fixed, mission accomplished! On the other hand, that was... kinda fucked up. And odds are it was hitting Hijikata pretty hard. He's silent for a moment, because really, what the fuck do you say to that?]

I... I'm sorry. Would you like for me to go?

[This is one of those moments where the background sound effect could be either a cheering crowd or a sad violin. It's pretty clear which is playing for Hijikata. His cute companions..!! He'll get over it, but not today. So sorry, Zelgadis, you're getting kicked out.]

Yeah.

[While Zelgadis collects his things Hijikata walks over to the window and opens the curtains and blinds. It's the short dusk time between sundown and nightfall, not yet too dark to see, but everything already tinged in blue hues. The moon is clearly visible in the sky, so he may just head out before long to sit on a park bench for his much-needed nicotine fix (and likely some crying over more mayonnaise).]

...

If I see a good quest I'll hit you up.

[That's all he can muster to express that he isn't mad at Zelgadis.]

[Whether Zelgadis leaves without further ado or with a few words of advice or consolation, outside in the corridor he'll find Arashi. The crow tengu looks rather out of place with his traditional, priest-like black garb and the staff in his hand, but he seems relieved to see Zelgadis.]

I am truly indebted to you for taking care of Hijikata-san until now. Allow me to apologise: I never asked you for your name.

[After giving Hijikata a quick nod of acknowledgement, Zelgadis makes his way out into the hall. He's a bit surprised by Arashi's appearance, but as soon as he opens his beak, Zel relaxes a bit.]

Zelgadis. It's all right, there were more pressing matters to attend to.

[He doesn't look too thrilled for someone who's just done a good deed. He sighs, glancing over his shoulder towards Hijikata's door.]

I know it was for the best, but... I can't say I really feel like one of the good guys right now.

It was necessary. Hijikata-san will realise that in time, too.

[That's easy for Arashi to say after he elegantly slipped out of the situation... but hey, at least he's partly here to fulfill his end of the bargain. He leads the way to the nearby seating area - just the requisite pair of armchairs and a tiny round table near the elevators - and invites Zelgadis to sit with him before placing a few small items on the table.]

This ring holds a black tourmaline. It helped me enhance my wind magic, but it should also enhance other types of elemental magic, and I hear that it aides technomancy users as well. This moonstone will protect you on your travels, and it is used in many ways by the fae, so you ought to be able to trade it for goods from their realm if you so desire. This elixir, lastly, serves as a minor healing potion. It is mainly plant-based, though I enhanced the plants' sustaining qualities with a spell.

[He slightly leans forward and unfolds his wings, having decided that human chairs aren't made to accommodate them after all.]

Zelgadis-san, please choose whichever will serve you best. It is only a small token of gratitude compared to the great service you have rendered unto me, but I hope it will benefit you. Alternatively I will gladly assist you in honing your wind magic, should you possess the ability to wield it.

[~~Should Zelgadis choose the latter it can totally happen offscreen at any time~~.]

[Oh man, if Lina was here, she'd be all over that enchanted ring. And probably trying to find a way to make off with all three items, let's be real. Zelgadis isn't Lina though, and his greedy streak doesn't run anywhere near as deep as hers. He's not quite the type that would say that a good deed is it's own reward, but when it comes to helping those that he considers friends, he doesn't do it because he expects something in return. So, he holds up a hand and shakes his head a bit.]

Those won't be necessary, I'm just glad that I was able to help. Might take you up on those magic lessons, though. I was an expert sorcerer back home, but I do find myself struggling a bit with this world's elemental magic.

[Arashi inclines his head, earnestly grateful. Zelgadis' modesty earns him a good amount of respect from the crow tengu, so in a roundabout it may pay off for him if he's ever in a pinch!]

As you wish. You must be in need of rest now, so please feel free to arrange for our next meeting through Hijikata-san... or through your bond partner.

[He has totally hung out with Zelgadis' familiar before, probably... and if not he's at least seen him. The familiars have their own ways of connecting with each other. He collects his items back into their small pouch, then gets up and bows properly.]

I wish you well until we meet again, Zelgadis-san. May the powers that rule this land hold you in their favour.

[Zel's familiar would totally hang out with Arashi. It's a tiny purple dragon named Amelia the Second and she fucking loves making friends, ok.

Ooh yeah, that all nighter is catching up with Zelgadis now. He yawns, Raising a hand to cover his mouth while he stands up from his own chair.]

Let me know if there's anything else I can help with. I'm going to go sleep for the rest of the day.

[Bowing isn't really a thing that's done where he's from, but in an effort to be polite, he awkwardly returns the gesture.]

[Cute... Arashi certainly isn't vocal about it, but he's fond of the small pet-sized familiars he meets on Avalon (though he may idly wonder about the "the Second" part of dragon Amelia's name).

Even if Zelgadis' bow is a bit clumsy, he appreciates the gesture, as well as the offer of further help - but right now it really is high time for the poor samurai sitter to catch up on his sleep debt. Arashi will keep an eye on Hijikata in crow form through the window, just to be sure he doesn't do anything stupid... but some cigarettes, mayonnaise and alcohol will help the man power through his tragic loss.]

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Video | UN: hijikata | Irregular Quest: Keep a Man out of the Sun for a Day

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I am good at pretend!

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