avalononline | Video | UN: hijikata | Irregular Quest: Keep a Man out of the Sun for a Day

[It's after dinnertime on another rainy evening when a new video pops up on AOL. Hijikata has never posted anything on the network before (beyond responses to other people), so he's not exactly a familiar face... but those who do know him may be surprised by the changes to his outfit and the large black wings on his back. He looks a lot more composed than usual and gives the camera a slow blink before starting to speak.]

My name is Arashi. I am the familiar of Hijikata-san, whose body I am inhabiting by means of familiar fusion to bring you this message. I am afraid that I find myself in need of some assistance.

[He seems to be in a hotel room, and attentive listeners may be able to catch the occasional high-pitched little noise in the background, as if there were guinea pigs or other small pets running around. Arashi keeps a straight face.]

It has come to my attention that Hijikata-san has been struggling to reverse the impact of the wishes that were made about two months ago. I cannot maintain the familiar fusion state for very long, so I seek the support of anyone willing and able to keep him away from the sunlight for a day.

[What the reclusive crow tengu isn't telling the viewers: due to the heavy rains he decided to check on his bond partner, only to find his hotel room full of mayonnaise mascots. When the flooding began Hijikata had fetched them in a panic from the smallholding farm the owners of which had been letting him keep them in an enclosure, and their presence immediately made it clear to Arashi that he never fixed his messed-up magic. Hijikata had just finished preparing a familiar fusion essence in his room for later use in an emergency, and ultimately it was used much sooner as a result of the ensuing fight.]

Please come to Room 306 at the main inn if you are interested. I cannot offer gold, but I am able to train users of wind magic and help awaken it for novice users of elemental magic, or otherwise I can offer some rare items.

Just as a warning, there are some... creatures here.

[The mayonnaise mascots are harmless, but kind of creepy looking in his opinion. They are unnatural, wholly unnatural. The sooner they disappear the better.]

(OOC: This is open for anyone, no dibs (after all we've got time loops happening around here!). Villains and pranksters are also welcome (after all Arashi is such an absent familiar that he wouldn't be able to tell who Hijikata's friends are, or if he has any at all). If you'd like to plot anything specific out I have my CR meme post here!)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I know that, but honestly, that would be for the best. This is unnatural, you understand? Creating or altering life through magic, tampering with the laws of nature, it's only inviting trouble.

[He's very opinionated on the whole fucking with life via magic thing, don't mind him.]

Cut them some slack, Zelgadis! They don't even have souls, nor magic or physical strength... they're as harmless as it gets! And the magic types Avalon picked for me are crap!

[So much for him liking his fire magic because it enabled him to smoke without a match or lighter!]

You sound like some thousand-year-old wizard who's super strict about the rules of magic! Don't you also hate your death magic?

Doesn't it concern you that they don't have souls? You've essentially created living dolls, they just act the way they do because you made them that way. They don't have real free will or any real purpose. You can't sit there and tell me you're really okay with that.

[he'll juuuust refrain from commenting on his death magic. It sucks. It super sucks and it's super creepy, but all this kind of creeps him out more. Just look at those creepy little things.]

Hey!! Don't you say that! They may not have souls, but that doesn't make them dolls! Just pick one of them up, you'll see how soft and warm they are!

[The Mayorins on his lap look at Zelgadis with completely identical smiles.]

Also who ever said that mascots need to have souls? Huh?

[He's not going to let this unsettle him! Hanging out with home-made soulless mayonnaise mascots isn't unnatural or wrong!! They're nicer to him than most people are, so why should he sacrifice them for better control of a horrible type of magic?]

Mascots, what--

[Actually, no, he doesn't care. Call them whatever you want, Hijikata, they're still abominations to god and nature. Or whatever. Either way, Zelgadis is starting to get a little irritated. Why can't this clown see how fucked up this is?]

This isn't about them, it's about you experimenting with dangerous magic for your own gain!

It's not for my own gain! I just want them around because...

...

Okay, you got me there. But seriously, come on!! I'm working really hard to help get this time freeze situation sorted out. Don't I deserve a small reminder from home as a reward? It didn't cost anyone anything!

[He's clearly about as obsessed with his new power as Frankenstein, only that seeing his ugly little creations come to life(???) didn't give him the much-needed reality check. There's some good news here, though: the familiar fusion drained his energy significantly, so after the initial rush of anger and adrenaline his eyelids are now feeling increasingly heavy. He'll probably shortly fall asleep on Zelgadis, and since he's been overworking himself as usual he'll likely sleep long into the next day, meaning there'll only be a few hours left until sundown in the end. Chances are that'll change his tune.]

[he gives Hijikata A Look. Like you're damn right I got you there, buddy.]

These things always start small. Today you're making little... those things, and tomorrow you're fusing them with a cat or something. I'm like this because someone pulled the same sort of thing on me.

[Hence his disapproval of this magic goofy bullshit. BUT whatever, it looks like Hijikata is about to just fall asleep right there in the chair. Depending on how long he's out, Zel's babysitting job might be really damn easy.]

[He wants to argue about how he didn't do anything at all with his new powers (minor accidents aside) ever since he created the Mayorins, but the next part of what Zelgadis says give him a bit of a record scratch.]

Hang on. Hold up. What exactly happened to you?

[Ugh, he's so tired... this is abysmally shitty timing for the post-fusion exhaustion to kick in, but if he does nod off now he'll definitely pick this topic back up tomorrow, because this is entirely new information to him. Zelgadis can probably see his struggle to stay awake and save it for when Hijikata is able to give him a proper reaction to unlocking his backstory.]

Are you going to be able to stay awake long enough to hear it?

[Because buddy you are not looking super alert right now. Man, if he falls asleep in a chair, Hijikata's neck is going to be killing him when he wakes up.

Which is just too bad for him, isn't it.]

Yeah!

[And then he yawns again, unable to even try to suppress it.]

Or... maybe tell me later. But dont...

[Another yawn.]

Don't forget.

[And just like that he's out cold. He will indeed physically feel like absolute crap when he wakes up (which will be goddamn late the next day since he's been running himself into the ground with self-induced overwork again), but that's the karma he gets for making Zelgadis run this whole circus show with him.

Zelgadis, meanwhile, is free to do what he wants with his night. He can take over Hijikata's bed (the Mayorins will probably stare at him, though), or he can go back to his own room and trust his ropes to hold, or whatever other ideas he may have. If he stays and also sleeps past noontime, though, the Mayorins will try to wake him up because they're hungry.]

[Zel will at least be enough of a bro to try to make Hijikata a little more comfortable, like wedging a pillow between his head and the back of the chair or something. He does decide to stick around though, not trusting the little Mayorins to not try to untie Hijikata. He keeps himself awake the whole time for the same reason, that and the fact that the Mayorins are just goddamn creepy and he doesn't want to sleep around them. So he'll just hang out on his phone until Hijikata finally wakes up.

And. Maybe toss the Mayorins some eggs when they get hungry?? Are there eggs in this room???]

[Aw, the pillow will help, at least a little! But damn, for Zelgadis to just stay awake all night... he and Hijikata will probably end up equally groggy at the end of the ordeal (which at least reduces the chances of a physical fight significantly, if Zelgadis' sheer amount of consideration hasn't done enough on that front already).

There are eggs in the fridge, and with no sunlight entering the room through the closed blinds and curtains the Mayorins only notice that it's past their usual feeding time with quite some delay around noontime. They indeed never slept at all and kept toddling about and playing with their toys all night long (that surely wasn't unsettling at all). They eventually approach Hijikata to tug on his trouser legs (luckily the ones on his lap climbed down at some earlier point), and if Zelgadis stops that they'll turn to him instead and direct him to the fridge. He can either crack the eggs for them or let them figure it out.

Hijikata eventually does wake up from their happy noises as they're being fed... wow, he has a headache, and his whole body feels all crumpled. He groans as he remembers what happened.]

Wow, I feel like shit.

Do these things just never sleep?

[The Mayorins are happily chompin their eggs, and Zelgadis looks like he's about ready to pass out. Maybe staying up all night wasn't the best idea, yeah? Though, even if he'd been willing to try sleeping himself, Zelgadis probably wouldn't have been able to anyway because he'd just know that these weird little gremlins are just wandering around.]

You look like shit. You want some water or anything?

Video | UN: hijikata | Irregular Quest: Keep a Man out of the Sun for a Day

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