avalononline | video; un: coffeefiend

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video; un: coffeefiend

[ Steph has set up this PSA perfectly framed so that everyone can see the exasperated expression on her face. Not angry, thankfully that whole ordeal is over, but deeply unimpressed by her fellow interdimensional travellers. ]

I'd like to take a moment to remind everyone of Murphy's Law.

You may not call it that. You may not know it exists. But I promise you, it holds true for every culture, in every time period, in every universe:

Anything that can go wrong, will.

Does it seem like a bad idea? It is. Is there a chance it'll blow up in your face? It will, and probably everyone else's face too. Is it going to make strangers mad at you? Don't do it.

[ She looks the camera dead in the eye, glaring as though she can stop people from being stupid by sheer force of will. She will damn well try regardless.

There's a pause while she hopes that sinks in. ]

Also, this may be an unpopular opinion, but I'm sharing it anyway:

Necromancy is never the answer.

That's all. I'm out.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

your denial is immediately suspicious

How am I supposed to ignore one of the gifts Avalon gave me?

by not starting the zombie apocalypse? it's really not that hard. been there, done that, 0 stars.

I would have to raise a lot of people to do that! I get bored pretty easily.

see? easy.

But that doesn't mean it's never the answer.

give me one scenario where necromancy is the only answer

So you're up against a monster, right? You have no allies and your strength is flagging.

But you are surrounded by bodies.

1. gross 2. hide and regroup 3. been there, done that, no magic, still kicking

What if there's nowhere to hide?

Every situation is different.

I mean there are dead bodies

That's pretty gross, you know.

not my fault you can't handle yourself without an undead army I have enough sense not to get into fights I can't win

[ ...No she doesn't. ]

or to just suck it up if I do

By suck it up, do you mean...

Lose? Because I've never been in a fight I can't win. I just have to be more cunning.

you're a guy, aren't you. that is such a guy thing to say. between the ego and the necromancy you are definitely bad news. this is how you get zombie apocalypses

What do my genitals have to do with this?

I told you.

I get bored.

they stop your brain from working right

How do you even study that.

modern science and 22 years of personal experience

Have you ever had a penis?

you don't get it because you're a dude

For a night...

I was a woman.

[ ... ]

I'm willing to bet money you spent the time either staring at your own boobs or having sex.

My boobs were amazing, that's true! And I did have sex. But the night was long.

damn, I should've named an amount.

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