avalononline | video un: konpeito_oni with un: fireprince

Make sure you get my good side!

[Oda Nobunaga is being filmed by someone else, and as he quickly makes apparent: hunting in the forest.]

Okay! This is Oda Nobunaga, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven. [He'll get tired of that mouthful... eventually.] Hijikata-sama is busy doing super important police work so I got Zuko to provide backup so I can show you proper sumo techniques on a bear fir! Those are trees in the shape of bears. Don't worry, if I get eaten, and can't cut my way free, Zuko will set it on fire, and then we'll show you how to make sure it doesn't spread to the forest!

First you need to lure it! [He has a fish for the bait.] In my time, we would give offerings and sacrifices, but since I want to wrestle one, not appease it--

[He doesn't get to finish the sentence before he gets sideswiped by an irritated bear fir. It was not lured by the fish. It was flushed out by Nobunaga's oni, but who's counting?]

[Nobunaga crashes into a tree, gets the wind knocked out of him... but he's grinning ear to ear.]

[And tackles the bear, trying to wrestle, or ride it, or... who the fuck knows?]

[It's a bit insane. But eventually he winds up inside it and cuts himself free...]

[And looks sorely disappointed.]

Ah... that's it? I didn't get to show anything off... Okay! Let's do the fire anyway! Zuko set me on fire!

[This can only end well.]

[On cue, a small puff of flame appears from the cameraman's unseen hands. The flames are weak. After another, only slightly bigger puff, a grumble can be heard, before one more unsteady, unimpressive lick of flames appears from thin air, followed by a hoarse:]

What the fuck?!

[Muttered under the firebender's breath. Finally, fourth must be the charm... and a gust of fire shoots forth, striking Nobunaga straight-on. Thank goodness the daimyo has healing magic because, uh, Zuko is clearly not fully in control of this fire he's magicking up. And he's very embarrassed to be short on juice on a live public feed. This whole thing isn't going exactly to plan, is it?]

[The grown warlord then holds up a finger, as his cuirass (at least it's not his Japanese armor? Is that better or worse?) smolders and gets hotter!] This technique isn't taught in my time, but you should all know it!

Stop! Drop! And roll!

[And he demonstrates.]

[The bear fir in the meanwhile has recollected, REFORMED itself... and just decides an idiot on fire is not worth trying to eat again. Good thinking. Off it goes!]

[No idiots were maimed in the making of this video. Don't play with fire. Or bear trees.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Hijikata so easily fell into his usual habit of bitching out his ~~subordinates~~ fellow off-worders for screwing around, he completely broke rank there, and he only realises belatedly that maybe he shouldn't have nagged the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven like that... but then Nobunaga calls him Hijikata-sama (actually didn't he even call him that in the video's introduction already?!) and bows in apology. That shuts Hijikata up as he has an internal ~~fanboy freakout~~ emotional rollercoaster moment. It takes him a few seconds to collect his wits and respond to Nobunaga's question.]

It's-- it's okay. Well, I think bear firs are attracted enough to people walking in the woods that there's no need for any bait.

[This is admittedly a pretty lame answer, but seriously, who other than Nobunaga would want to attract those predators in the first place?!]

Okay!

I won't forget it!! [Mufufufu???]

You aren't going to hunt more, right?

[Really, those were enough Brocéliande adventures for one day!!]

[Glances at the smoldering armor on the ground.]

[Then around at the trees.]

I'm always hunting.

[\:|/]

But not for bear firs specifically anymore. For now.

[Nobunaga... dude...]

Good... I think.

[Should he be more worried for the man or for the wildlife?! He has half a mind to head out there and find him, but no, this isn't his responsibility, and Nobunaga already has Zuko with him. Hijikata doesn't really know the boy, but he's just going to trust him to keep Nobunaga alive.]

Also don't eat any plants or animals you can't identify!

[Nag, nag... but really, so many things around here come with magical properties, and he doesn't need Nobunaga and/or Zuko tripping their asses off from sprite-dust-induced rapid future visions or anything like that.]

Hijikata-sama, you forgot to tell me you're descended from Totoyomi Hideyoshi! At least you only got his monkey-on-the-back persona, not his face.

[Aka: THANKS MOM!]

[TBF: Nobunaga does eat candy from strangers, and Mitsuhide worried he might poison himself too.]

[But he was a pretty feral youth for a would be nobleman's son. Nobuhide and Gozen raised him as a general, and a little bit guerilla warfare 400 years before it became all the rage.]

[At first he looks a little confused and about to correct Nobunaga, but then the penny drops, and he deadpans at him.]

Look, just...

[He almost doled out more well-meaning advice just now, but stops himself.]

I wish I had your energy, Oda-san.

[Laughs. He would take the advice. Probably even listen to it. He misses Hideyoshi, even if he is basically trying to cram doing all the things he can't do with Hideyoshi around.]

I won't knowingly eat any poisons.

Or things that look like they could be poisonous. I was never very into fugu or mushrooms anyway. And I'm pretty careful about how much I drink. [Barring certain banging on Mitsuhide's head like a drum circumstances, and stories of his youth.]

Okay, good. I'm sure you'll be fine.

[He partly just says that to convince himself of it, but Nobunaga did give that bear fir a run for its money, so to speak! Hijikata just can't help his protective impulses, given that Nobunaga is an important person for the whole of Japan, despite them being from completely different centuries.]

If you guys do end up in trouble let me know. I'll dispatch my familiar if need be.

Don't worry, I haven't even needed to call Kimon yet. And I don't think he'll let me do anything too dangerous, since we're bound or whatever.

[Nobunaga feels the same way... about Japan's many many alternate futures, ironically!]

[If it makes him feel better, Nobunaga is already past the point he "should" be dead at, oops.]

Right.

[If Kimon is anything like his Arashi he will look after his bond partner, at the expense of Nobunaga's fun if need be.]

Have fun then, Oda-san.

[It's hard to stay mad at a man with such endless positive energy... and it also helps that he's not a total jackass (this is still a bit of a novelty for Hijikata even two multiverse trips later, okay). Also he has yet to reach the point where his Shinsengumi survive their dissolution that happens in most timelines, but even so, they're bad end aversion buddies!!]

Thank you. [Bows.]

Next time we can go drinking after your rounds are over, and something less violent, okay?

That sounds like a plan! I'll let you know when I'm free.

[The only problem with that is that he's a hopeless workaholic, so Nobunaga may ultimately catch him at the bar by chance before Hijikata musters an invitation, or they may run into each other doing damage control when something goes haywire again. Either way, they're on an island, so it shouldn't be too long.]

I'll be around. [He has a hot kitsune princess lover to go home to. SOMEONE NEEDS TO SEND HIM HOME!!!]

[But yes, Hideyoshi, Mitsunari, Ieyasu, and Mitsuhide are all workaholics too. Nobunaga's favorite type of person.]

video un: konpeito_oni with un: fireprince

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