Video/Text; UN: cattletamer96

[milkmycattle]

[ The video starts with a view of a large crow zooming in and out of the frame in a panic. Then BANG! There's a loud sound from off-screen that the camera spins over to the three-legged crow flat against the wall, before comically sliding down.]

Onyx, what are you doing?!

[ There's a hoarse rasp that comes from the person holding the camera. Reluctantly, he turns the camera view towards a bunch of blankets, and Crow's head pops out of the bundle. The spunky redhead isn't quite as energetic at the moment, instead, he looks a bit stressed out.]

It's an apocalyptic catastrophe!

[ Crow's words come out as a scratchy croak. His poor angelic voice! He sounds horrible! ]

I think I lost my voice! And I need to fix it before the concert! Help! It's a crimson emergency! And I think drinking milk makes it worse!

[ He can't stand to hear his voice like this, so he's going to dive back into his cocoon of blankets. He's not going to subject anyone else's ears to this dissonance either. Crow's familiar tries to comfort him by perching on top of the pile of blankets and gently tapping his beak against it. There, there. Crow stops the video but follows up with a text after:]

DOES ANYONE KNOW ANY HOME REMEDIES TO CURE THIS?!!!! I'LL DRINK EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN!!! I'LL DO ANYTHING EXCEPT SELL MY SOUL TO LUCIFER!! I JUST WANT TO PARTICIPATE IN THE CONCERT, DAMN IT!!!

Comments

Video; UN: Wildflower

[madcuriosity]

You should be drinking slippery elm or licorice root tea, sir. Those are the best teas for a sore throat.

[milkmycattle]

[He's going to text back because he doesn't want to force his voice any more than he needs to.]

Slippery elm and licorice root tea? I've never heard of it. Does it really work? Does it taste gross?

[Seems like it'll be nasty to drink, but beggars couldn't be choosers!]

[madcuriosity]

[She's staying in video because she speaks faster than she types.]

It depends on your thoughts on licorice, I should think. And slippery elm is sweet and smells like maple syrup. Both are sweeter teas than normal.

VIDEO | UN: HAMMERTIME

[forgeabettertomorrow]

You've lost your voice?! Isn't there some kinda concert or something this week?!

[milkmycattle]

[ DUN DUN DUNNN!]

Don’t rub it in, man!!

Do you know anything that would help?

text; un: saxitup

[saxsongs]

A friend of mine uses a lot of honey to keep his throat healthy. Maybe some ginger honey tea?

I can also check you as a healer.

[milkmycattle]

Honey? That sounds like a good idea! I’ll drink anything at this point!

W-wait! You’re a healer?! Well bless me!!

text

[intrapid]

Lucky you I've got just the thing, and only a little left!
Where are you hiding, so I can pass it along?

Uh oh!

[milkmycattle]

Yeah? What is it? Some kind of magical elixir?!

[Something about this text seems a little suspicious, but Crow is desperate so he’s willing to try anything.]

Text; UN: Koromaru

[whatsamada]

I heard gargling some warm salt water works!

If worse comes to worse, you can some back up singers to help you out with singing!

[milkmycattle]

Gargle with warm salt water, eh? I’ll give it a try!

And thanks for the advice, but I don’t do back up singers. It has to be my voice, front and center! It can’t be any other way.

Video; un: 7😆H! TA1

[arf]

It's the hardest thing in the world, but you have to not talk for a day and drink only honey and no soda or spicy items!

[ Literally the most valentine task possible... But it's called a vocal rest and something performers have to do sometimes!! Even if it's nearly impossible...]

It looks like Ren already ordered to heal you though, hehe, I bet he'll do way better than I would or I'd offer, he's awesome!

[milkmycattle]

Not talk....for a whole day?!!!! What is that like? Doesn’t it get too quiet after a while?!

[ This will be hard, but he’ll do anything to make sure his vocals are good.]

Yeah, he’s going to help me! Tho, I’m sure you would’ve been great too!

VIDEO; UN: SMOKING_BOMB

[bakudan_bambino]

Looks like all that shit you were talking damaged your throat.

1/3

[milkmycattle]

[At the sound of this punk's voice, Crow throws his blankets off him to yell into the screen!]

WHY YOU----!!

2/3

[milkmycattle]

[Though the strain to his voice makes Crow get into a coughing fit. Damn it, he can't even retort in the way he would like to! So he has to settle with an angry text!]

3/3

[milkmycattle]

[There!]

ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THIS SHIT IS KARMA?! LIKE YOU'RE SO DAMN INNOCENT!

un; double stroke roll; text

[rippingu]

Haruki is a healer, did you try him?

[milkmycattle]

Oh? Haruki? Is he a healer, I didn't know!

Wait?! How do you know Haruki? Are you also friends with him?

[Crow's too dense to connect the dots that Kaji and Haruki are in the same band and these are two who are married.]

text; un: fireprince

[rediscovering]

ginger tea with lemon and honey
ginger anything really

you should put your face over steam from boiling water, even better if you can find some eucalyptus leaves to put in it too

gargle with warm salt water a few times a day

and be quiet..... stop shouting. that should be obvious. you need to rest your voice.

[milkmycattle]

[Well the shouting part is going to be hard since Crow shouts 24/7. Though it sounds like pretty good advice. Especially the steam suggestion! He's definitely going to incorporate these methods into his regular routine too!]

Yeah, people did mention ginger and honey are a good combination! The steam with the eucalyptus is a new one, so I'm definitely going to try that!

And...I'm going to try my best to rest my voice. It won't be easy, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice!

Text, un: fashiondiva

[corpsewarblade]

You seriously have a messed up idea what an apocalyptic catastrophe is. Stop yelling already, that's not gonna help.

And, like, abusing bold font and caps lock is serious overkill.

[She's "helping."]

[milkmycattle]

What do you mean this isn't an apocalyptic catastrophe?! My voice is messed up!! It's a Code Red for me!

[Totally helping!]

Overkill? I was just emphasizing my distress! What's the big deal? Don't like? Keep scrolling!

text; un: tenjikubotan

[irritated]

ketchup and ginger with some milk.

[He just said the first things that came to mind that seem like it would be the worst combination. Him and Crow are fine, chill, but Hikaru pranks everybody.]

[milkmycattle]

Ketchup and Ginger? With some milk?

[That sounds...really disgusting!]

Are you sure about that? I mean, I'll drink anything with milk, but these don't really go together!