image+text; < thearchitect >

[emet_sulk]

[ Sometime during the month, an image is uploaded (the infamous LONG BREAD), accompanied by the following caption: ]

Assist me in proving a point to my unrepentant friend: this is not how one slices bread.

Comments

« text; un: matriarch »

[menphina]

He sliced the bread, what else do you want?


[ She loves Hythlodaeus for this. And in general, but today it's this. ]

[weenwoon]

Finally, someone who understands.

[menphina]

You have done nothing that you weren't asked to do, love. People ought be more specific.

[emet_sulk]

Don't be obtuse. That is not how one is supposed to slice bread.

[menphina]

Back home, perhaps, but what if it were the way bread is sliced on some strange world we've yet to be drawn to?


[ She's just having a good laugh here. ]

[emet_sulk]

I'm sure you have had ample time to discover that is certainly not the case in this world. Don't enable his behaviour, Matriarch.

[menphina]

But hear me out, Hades!
We have "shortbread" when it comes to biscuits, don't we?
What's to say this isn't a type of "long" bread for longer sweet breads?
It's a perfectly logical thought!


[ It's the stupidest thing she's ever said, and she knows it, but teasing him is just so easy. ]

[emet_sulk]

This is not a sweet bread. This is not even bread containing whole grains. 'Tis not logical in the slightest.

[ And nor is the so-called 'shortbread' for that matter. Who even came up with that name? ]

[menphina]

[ It's cute and that's what is important! ]


Look at it this way.
You could always turn it into a rolled sandwich!
I make those for my children all the time!
You just slice them after filling them up and rolling and they're ready!
You can't let that bread lie around like that, after all!

What were you making?

[emet_sulk]

A sandwich.

[ Obviously. ]

I would rather not give Hythlodaeus the satisfaction of using his... 'new concept'.

I keep opening that image and laughing why is it so funny...

[menphina]

You know I'm going to ask you "why not?" right now, right?
Let me give you some advice, Hades.
When someone is clearly trying to get a rise out of you,
you roll with it and surprise them.
He'll either be shocked or appreciative.
But you'll still have the upper hand.

... and I don't want that bread to go to waste.

Emet just pops a vein every time

[emet_sulk]

I never had any intention of wasting food. However, I can already picture the look upon his face when he sees me using it.

You have not lived with him, Matriarch. Hythlodaeus is utterly inexhaustible.

[menphina]

I've spent some time with him. He's sweet and clearly adores you.
I can see why you're both companions.
Someone needs to balance out that sour nature of yours!

Did you really not find his prank just a little amusing?
Even a touch?

[emet_sulk]

No.

[ He just wanted a sandwich, godsdamnit! ]