avalononline | video un: konpeito_oni with un: fireprince

Make sure you get my good side!

[Oda Nobunaga is being filmed by someone else, and as he quickly makes apparent: hunting in the forest.]

Okay! This is Oda Nobunaga, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven. [He'll get tired of that mouthful... eventually.] Hijikata-sama is busy doing super important police work so I got Zuko to provide backup so I can show you proper sumo techniques on a bear fir! Those are trees in the shape of bears. Don't worry, if I get eaten, and can't cut my way free, Zuko will set it on fire, and then we'll show you how to make sure it doesn't spread to the forest!

First you need to lure it! [He has a fish for the bait.] In my time, we would give offerings and sacrifices, but since I want to wrestle one, not appease it--

[He doesn't get to finish the sentence before he gets sideswiped by an irritated bear fir. It was not lured by the fish. It was flushed out by Nobunaga's oni, but who's counting?]

[Nobunaga crashes into a tree, gets the wind knocked out of him... but he's grinning ear to ear.]

[And tackles the bear, trying to wrestle, or ride it, or... who the fuck knows?]

[It's a bit insane. But eventually he winds up inside it and cuts himself free...]

[And looks sorely disappointed.]

Ah... that's it? I didn't get to show anything off... Okay! Let's do the fire anyway! Zuko set me on fire!

[This can only end well.]

[On cue, a small puff of flame appears from the cameraman's unseen hands. The flames are weak. After another, only slightly bigger puff, a grumble can be heard, before one more unsteady, unimpressive lick of flames appears from thin air, followed by a hoarse:]

What the fuck?!

[Muttered under the firebender's breath. Finally, fourth must be the charm... and a gust of fire shoots forth, striking Nobunaga straight-on. Thank goodness the daimyo has healing magic because, uh, Zuko is clearly not fully in control of this fire he's magicking up. And he's very embarrassed to be short on juice on a live public feed. This whole thing isn't going exactly to plan, is it?]

[The grown warlord then holds up a finger, as his cuirass (at least it's not his Japanese armor? Is that better or worse?) smolders and gets hotter!] This technique isn't taught in my time, but you should all know it!

Stop! Drop! And roll!

[And he demonstrates.]

[The bear fir in the meanwhile has recollected, REFORMED itself... and just decides an idiot on fire is not worth trying to eat again. Good thinking. Off it goes!]

[No idiots were maimed in the making of this video. Don't play with fire. Or bear trees.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[If Zuko knew all of this then why did Hikaru have to go all history teacher!!]

I mean, according to him they were the bad guys right? [No they were totally the bad guys. But since meeting all these major historical figures it's got him thinking.]

All up to somebody else what basic happiness is even if the monks definitely sucked. [But according to what he knows, Nobunaga also killed all the women and children and that's a little much.

But also, Hikaru doesn't know if that's true or did happen. History books aren't always right.]

Either way, he's a pretty rough guy. Probably should be careful about setting a ruthless warlord on fire.

[ Because Hikaru Knows Things™ in Zuko's book. Clearly he has an approximate knowledge of most things, in Zuko's eyes, if not an expertise in many. ]

That's true... History is written by the winners. Is he, um— celebrated? In Japan? He's from hundreds and hundreds of years before you, right? But you know about him. Does his nation remember him as a hero...?

Oh yeah, he's definitely one of Japan's most famous. He's even got movies, shows, and games all about him. We remember him as a hero but also a ruthless one. Type of guy to do anything to achieve his goals.

Just don't get on his bad side. I don't think the history books lied about him being ruthless to his enemies but I'm also not about to ask him and piss him off if it's true.

[Kiss his ass, Zuko.]

...So? I could take him, I bet.

[ Stupid. Wrong answer. ]

[Nobunaga is obviously not listening, but just sort of looks at Zuko at that.]

[Ask Date Masamune if the one-eyed dragon would like to fight Nobunaga :)]

How is that what you get from what I just said? Don't take on Oda Nobunaga.

[Seriously, Zuko.]

I don't want to! We get along. But I'm not gonna kiss his ass or anything, either.

[ Zuko also once said he thought he could take the original firebenders in a fight with the Avatar, but that was before he found out they were dragons and took it back... Nobunaga, he's pretty sure isn't a dragon. So that's where the line seems to be drawn, apparently. ]

He killed a guy because he didn't like how his tea was served.

[Or so the story says. Hikaru hasn't wanted to get too close to figure out if this guy is like the stories or not. Seems dumb?]

...For real? Surely there was more to it than that... ...Right?

[Hikaru shrugs.] Or the story about a guy that had tried to hurt him so he found him years later and sawed his head off.

Could be real, could be made up. Could be something he made up himself to sound worse than he is. Who knows? But it is why he's remembered as a pretty scary guy and why I'll keep kissing his ass thanks~

Seriously? He sawed his head off? He made it sound like he only kills when provoked, when necessary, no other course of action. You're sure these aren't just stories to intimidate political opponents? I mean — I'm not about to go challenge him to find out, but... I've never kissed anyone's ass in my life and I'm not about to start now.

Told you, no clue. Like he could have said it for that reason or he could have told you that to look good here. Not that what he said is wrong because technically the other guy did provoke him...

But you don't need to kiss his ass. Just saying don't make an enemy of the guy and be a little nicer. Telling him nice things isn't so bad is it?

Huh... All right, fair point. So kinda like Azula, maybe. I can do that.

Honestly? Yeah. Exactly like that. That's what I did when she talked to me.

[...]

No offense.

None taken. It takes a certain, uh— approach. With Azula.

...You mean you've talked with her here in Avalon, or back in Lunatia? She knows who you are, obviously, but uh— if you guys are talking, that's, um... Good? Right?

[ IS IT?! He's not sure!!! ]

She messaged me. About Gokudera.

[Murder came into topic and honestly, Hikaru could do without that subject for a while.]

...She messaged you. About Gokudera.

[ He parrots with a steeliness Hikaru's voice certainly lacked, glaring at the phone through slowly narrowing eyes. ]

And what did she have to say about Gokudera?

[ That same steeliness, keeping his tone calm, but clipped. Uh oh. Hikaru, you opening cans of worms... ]

No way. Not getting into sibling drama. Usually family drama can be funny but I feel like I could end up with Azula as an enemy and I'm not doing that.

[Seriously he loves drama and seeing it unfold but in the case of these siblings? No. Azula is crazy, Zuko has baggage, and Hikaru doesn't want to get into the middle of that.

Way to go, Zuko. You found Hikaru's limit.]

Good call. Since you two are buddies and text each other gossiping now, apparently...

[ Like, seriously, the fuck, since when... He's so confused and ready to be mad but also... Maybe Hikaru and Azula should get on together, it occurs to him? Just. Not about hating Gokudera, he'd prefer. ]

I wouldn't go that far. Honestly, no offense, but I could do without another impromptu talk with her.

[Less people who are very casual about murder, thanks.]

I think that'd be preferable, yes... I'm not gonna mention to her that you told me she reached out to you. Cuz like you said, I don't wanna start shit with her right now, either. But you tell me if she does again. How'd she even get your username?! Ugh...! Probably figured out my phone code...

[ To be fair, it's like. Extremely simple and easy to guess if you're tenacious and clever like Azula. She surely keeps tabs on Zuko's friends while lurking on the network, too. There are so many ways she could have found out how to contact any one of his friends. ...But she also probably figured out his phone code, too. ]

video un: konpeito_oni with un: fireprince

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