video un: konpeito_oni with un: fireprince

[konpeito_aji]

Make sure you get my good side!

[Oda Nobunaga is being filmed by someone else, and as he quickly makes apparent: hunting in the forest.]

Okay! This is Oda Nobunaga, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven. [He'll get tired of that mouthful... eventually.] Hijikata-sama is busy doing super important police work so I got Zuko to provide backup so I can show you proper sumo techniques on a bear fir! Those are trees in the shape of bears. Don't worry, if I get eaten, and can't cut my way free, Zuko will set it on fire, and then we'll show you how to make sure it doesn't spread to the forest!

First you need to lure it! [He has a fish for the bait.] In my time, we would give offerings and sacrifices, but since I want to wrestle one, not appease it--

[He doesn't get to finish the sentence before he gets sideswiped by an irritated bear fir. It was not lured by the fish. It was flushed out by Nobunaga's oni, but who's counting?]

[Nobunaga crashes into a tree, gets the wind knocked out of him... but he's grinning ear to ear.]

[And tackles the bear, trying to wrestle, or ride it, or... who the fuck knows?]

[It's a bit insane. But eventually he winds up inside it and cuts himself free...]

[And looks sorely disappointed.]

Ah... that's it? I didn't get to show anything off... Okay! Let's do the fire anyway! Zuko set me on fire!

[This can only end well.]

[On cue, a small puff of flame appears from the cameraman's unseen hands. The flames are weak. After another, only slightly bigger puff, a grumble can be heard, before one more unsteady, unimpressive lick of flames appears from thin air, followed by a hoarse:]

What the fuck?!

[Muttered under the firebender's breath. Finally, fourth must be the charm... and a gust of fire shoots forth, striking Nobunaga straight-on. Thank goodness the daimyo has healing magic because, uh, Zuko is clearly not fully in control of this fire he's magicking up. And he's very embarrassed to be short on juice on a live public feed. This whole thing isn't going exactly to plan, is it?]

[The grown warlord then holds up a finger, as his cuirass (at least it's not his Japanese armor? Is that better or worse?) smolders and gets hotter!] This technique isn't taught in my time, but you should all know it!

Stop! Drop! And roll!

[And he demonstrates.]

[The bear fir in the meanwhile has recollected, REFORMED itself... and just decides an idiot on fire is not worth trying to eat again. Good thinking. Off it goes!]

[No idiots were maimed in the making of this video. Don't play with fire. Or bear trees.]

Comments

[konpeito_aji]

Ah, I see. [Nobunaga's father was important to him, but it's not something he wants to delve.] What are your Aunts like?

[A headshake!] I do know of the zheng though. I can also sing and dance, though nowhere near on a dedicated level. [This is almost a lie, it's just the one thing he's relatively modest about.] My country had fallen to more martial ventures over the last century, forgetting much of what made us unique in arts and skilled production.

[beautyrest]

My aunts are... all very unique, though all of them are very loving, brave, and caring. I never knew a day without love. I could go on and on about them. Are you sure you wish to hear?

I love to dance, and to sing! Perhaps we can do both together sometime. I am sorry to hear that your country has forgotten such things. I find that music and dancing are ways to bring everyone together in many ways.

[konpeito_aji]

I'd love to hear!

Mm! I'm told they do remember over the course of the next five hundred years, though many other things are forgotten, and to those things, I'm glad.

[beautyrest]

Well, I would love to tell. Aunt Flora is the eldest and usually the one who decides everything we do but she's also usually correct. She's a master in the garden and taught me everything I know about plants.

Aunt Fauna is the second eldest, she's a bit more prone to daydreaming like I am, she's the kindest of all of them and has great moments of insight. She knows everything there is to know about animals.

Then there is Aunt Merryweather. She is the youngest. She has very strong opinions and always wants things to be fair and offers the sharpest opinion on matters, whether or not you asked for them. She's very clever and tends to see to the heart of the situation immediately.

It is unfortunate you do not get to see it.

[konpeito_aji]

What kind of home did you live in together?

I do get to see it. Every day that I'm here. I see it in the people from my future, and the artifacts they bring. It's a gift I don't think anyone else has. Not even the other versions of myself. So in that way, I think I really do have it all. Even if I was transported via wormhole to the future, I wouldn't get to enjoy it half as much as here, because I wouldn't get to see the alternate versions laid out, the other worlds not of Earth, and while I'd still be living it, I would be too preoccupied to enjoy myself as much as now.

[beautyrest]

We lived in a cottage in the woods, in a clear glen. It was much like the architecture here as a massive tree grew in the center of it and provided support to the building.

That is quite a beautiful sentiment, your majesty.

[konpeito_aji]

Sounds lovely. I'm much more used to castles made of stone and fortified for war, but I'm very partial to the harmony here.

[Waves a hand.] Nobunaga, or Oda if you prefer. [He's no longer bothering to correct people about Oda being his clan name, since most Western names are 1 or 2 syllables long, and 4 trips them up!] Demon Kings aren't born into that position of power, and it hardly carries the same weight or meaning for people from different realms, does it?

[beautyrest]

[That would be her life, upon her return home, whenever that may be.]

What do you prefer? [Wow, Nobunaga, her Aunt Merryweather is four syllables so excuse you, five if you count her saying "Aunt" in front every time. At the question about royalty mattering she would say no, it doesn't matter, it's why she hasn't bothered mentioning it to anyone. However, he introduced himself as a king, so doesn't that mean it matters to him, at least in some way?] I believe it matters to you, though, regardless.

[konpeito_aji]

[TRUE!]

[Although now if you're going to give him the full option, he has to come up with something way. More. Extra.]

[Something so over the top, no one could possibly think he's serious.]

[All right, you ready?]

Demon King of the sixth heaven: consumer of konpeito, conqueror of criminals, dastardly deeds defied demon, destroyer of devils, [Okay that's enough. But no... still going!] arrogant autocrat, generally grand General, [Is she going to let him keep going?] Stubborn self-centered selfish sixth heaven heathen -- [Please stop him. Someone...] Hellacious hedonist so sacrosanct saviors cannot cure!

[This is why fire doesn't faze him.]

[He's pretending to just bathe in the glory of how ridiculous he is.]

[TL;DR "it matters," but it's like how Zuko would rather not be known as the son of the Flame Emperor. It's complicated. He could explain a lot about how he and his generals literally had a conference over what title to give Nobunaga, and he refused all of them. He didn't want to even be a Lord, but he had no choice it was that or die, or "worse" as he told Zuko, let people abuse or trade off his lands and people for power. Meanwhile Demon/Devil (Mao) King (ultimate of) is itself an insult in his time. Even as he revels in it. Not too different from his childhood nickname either "Idiot Lord" or "Big Fool of Owari."]

1/2

[beautyrest]

2/2

[beautyrest]

[She takes a deep breath. Merryweather didn't raise no quitter.]

As you wish, Demon King of the sixth heaven: consumer of konpeito, conqueror of criminals, dastardly deeds defied demon, destroyer of devils, arrogant autocrat, generally grand General, stubborn self-centered selfish sixth heaven heathen, hellacious hedonist so sacrosanct saviors cannot cure.

lmfao bless you Aurora 1/3

[konpeito_aji]

[Once again, hoisted by his own dumbassery!!!!]

Nooooo... Now that you say all of it together it sounds so stupid!

2/3

[konpeito_aji]

[BLUSHES AND HIDES HIS FACE IN HIS HANDS.]

[Demon King reputation ruined!]

3/3

[konpeito_aji]

[He doesn't hate it 1/100th as much as he's pretending though, he's actually quite impressed with her memory and how easily it rolled off her tongue, despite the sheer stupidity of it!]

Can you go back to your Majesty, but be really really sarcastic with it?

[beautyrest]

Perhaps I shall just call you Nobunaga, Majesty?

1/2

[konpeito_aji]

Yeah, that's way better.

Or you can mix it up each time. Like Nobunaga: Nobody Knows Nexus Neo--

2/2

[konpeito_aji]

[NO NO NO! Let's not start that again!]

Yeah, just stick with Nobunaga.

[beautyrest]

As you wish, Nobunaga. I am glad that is settled.

[konpeito_aji]

You are a terrifying foe, Lady Aurora!

[beautyrest]

Why, I don't know what you mean. [Yes, she does. She totally does. Her aunts taught her well.]

[konpeito_aji]

[Very well indeed!] It takes a great deal of political mastery to outmaneuver the Demon King.

Rest assured, this won't be forgotten.

[That's not even 1/100000th the threat it should sound like, and the worst part is he knows she knows it!]

[beautyrest]

I look forward to many more interactions, sire.

[konpeito_aji]

I'm sure our next dance will go in the devil's favor.

Not here!

[damn_kitsune]

[It's so rare to see Nobunaga look so flustered! Mitsuhide definitely recorded and saved this for later use]