video un: konpeito_oni with un: fireprince

[konpeito_aji]

Make sure you get my good side!

[Oda Nobunaga is being filmed by someone else, and as he quickly makes apparent: hunting in the forest.]

Okay! This is Oda Nobunaga, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven. [He'll get tired of that mouthful... eventually.] Hijikata-sama is busy doing super important police work so I got Zuko to provide backup so I can show you proper sumo techniques on a bear fir! Those are trees in the shape of bears. Don't worry, if I get eaten, and can't cut my way free, Zuko will set it on fire, and then we'll show you how to make sure it doesn't spread to the forest!

First you need to lure it! [He has a fish for the bait.] In my time, we would give offerings and sacrifices, but since I want to wrestle one, not appease it--

[He doesn't get to finish the sentence before he gets sideswiped by an irritated bear fir. It was not lured by the fish. It was flushed out by Nobunaga's oni, but who's counting?]

[Nobunaga crashes into a tree, gets the wind knocked out of him... but he's grinning ear to ear.]

[And tackles the bear, trying to wrestle, or ride it, or... who the fuck knows?]

[It's a bit insane. But eventually he winds up inside it and cuts himself free...]

[And looks sorely disappointed.]

Ah... that's it? I didn't get to show anything off... Okay! Let's do the fire anyway! Zuko set me on fire!

[This can only end well.]

[On cue, a small puff of flame appears from the cameraman's unseen hands. The flames are weak. After another, only slightly bigger puff, a grumble can be heard, before one more unsteady, unimpressive lick of flames appears from thin air, followed by a hoarse:]

What the fuck?!

[Muttered under the firebender's breath. Finally, fourth must be the charm... and a gust of fire shoots forth, striking Nobunaga straight-on. Thank goodness the daimyo has healing magic because, uh, Zuko is clearly not fully in control of this fire he's magicking up. And he's very embarrassed to be short on juice on a live public feed. This whole thing isn't going exactly to plan, is it?]

[The grown warlord then holds up a finger, as his cuirass (at least it's not his Japanese armor? Is that better or worse?) smolders and gets hotter!] This technique isn't taught in my time, but you should all know it!

Stop! Drop! And roll!

[And he demonstrates.]

[The bear fir in the meanwhile has recollected, REFORMED itself... and just decides an idiot on fire is not worth trying to eat again. Good thinking. Off it goes!]

[No idiots were maimed in the making of this video. Don't play with fire. Or bear trees.]

Comments

[rediscovering]

The dragons in my world have only been gone for a few decades... It's not been long at all. My uncle was the last person to be given the title of "Dragon."

[ Like, every topic bears weight to Zuko. He's not fun. Extremely earnest. But he can talk about dragons all day long. So his interest is captured. ]

I'd like to meet this Rose person, though, if she knows about bonding with dragons. My uncle, my sister and I all have dragons as our familiars here.

[onecupdrunk]

[ Give him a minute to do some investigating, he's grinning when he comes back to this. ]

Looks like she came to you on this post here. May want to emphasize that this was all Nobunaga's idea.

[ A chuckle. ]

Yeah, I just earned the title because I was a strong leader in an important battle. Killing an animal minding its own business to earn a title like that is pretty cruel, whether it's divine or not, but I guess the rules are different depending on who you ask.

[ He pauses for a moment. ]

Though, some rules are just made to be broken, and that stuff about the title of "dragon" in your world seems like one of those.

[rediscovering]

Oh, no... It was all his idea!

[ He grumbles, scowling in the other man's direction. ]

It was a cruel tradition. My Uncle ended it. ...He lied, and protected the last dragons. They live in secret, deep in hiding. I, uh— I met them. By accident. It was incredible.

[onecupdrunk]

[ A good ending for the last two dragons, at least. He can't help smiling, a little more warm than before as Zuko talks about it. ]

Your uncle sounds like an interesting man. From how you're telling it, he stuck to his principals even if it meant breaking tradition, rather than not doing it because he couldn't or because he was afraid.

[rediscovering]

He's a good person with a complicated past. But brave. And wise.

[ He pauses, debating whether or not to mention it, but... ]

He's here, too.

[onecupdrunk]

I'll have to meet him when there's a chance. Hopefully with less burning lords involved, fun as that is.

[rediscovering]

Of course not...! It's not like I make a habit of this, y'know! And it's not fun!

[ He's lying, he's having a blast. ]

[onecupdrunk]

[ Pause. ]

So you really just set him on fire just because he asked you to?

[rediscovering]

He has healing magic!

[ He's getting flustered. ]

[onecupdrunk]

Yeah, and he also tricked half the country into thinking he was a complete idiot before taking it over and unifying several territories.

Then again, I guess it's possible for him to have mastered a new skill in a month. Probably. [ He might be having a little too much fun with this. ]

[rediscovering]

What's that got to do with anything?!

[ Got to do with the fact that you're surprisingly gullible and pliant, your highness. ]

[onecupdrunk]

It means I might've had to come after you for trying to kill Nobunaga, as one of his warlords and vassals.

[ Unfortunately that's (almost) not a joke, but he does start laughing after a moment simply because of how flustered Zuko is getting. ]

Calm down. I'm just giving you a hard time kid, you've got nothing to worry about.

[rediscovering]

He can take care of himself. Look at him.

[ He moves to turn the camera to Nobunaga fussing with his overheated armor, but then thinks better of it. ]

Actually, nevermind, don't look at him...

[onecupdrunk]

He can, but I'm still honour-bound to take care of things if he needs or wants it.

But there is one thing I'm surprised about, and that's how much trust he put in you just now, kid.

[konpeito_aji]

Oi. Just because you want Rose to like you more.

Did I forget to tell you about Kitsuno?

[onecupdrunk]

That's one reason. And you did, though not a lot. You said she was different here, though?

[konpeito_aji]

She is. She's a kitsune princess, and looks like a cross between a red quince and a fox. [Red quince being the Oda crest flower!]

She's more like me here. She invited me in and took me as her lover. I don't mind competing on women, but that won't be an issue in this instance. [Because he doesn't want Rose, and if Masamune goes after Kitsuno, he might get stabbed!]

[onecupdrunk]

We both know which battles are worth having.

[ It's all he says, and at once the statement is heavy and light. Light in that it was playful banter with a friend, but heavy because they both know the difference between what's necessary and what's not.

Especially because of what a heavy burden it all is.

But he seems to be all smiles again, relaxing wherever he is. ]

Can't stop me from at least talking to her, though. I want to see what she's like here at least.

[konpeito_aji]

Damn right!

[Laughs!] I want you to meet her too! I promised to always protect her freedom, and she hasn't been able to enjoy it much in her realm. Or even that much here. And I want to see her face when she sees Shougetsu. She has a fox with her named Mitsu. Apparently Ishida Mitsunari is her father. [Thumbs up!] That broke my brain a lot too.

[onecupdrunk]

Shogetsu could always use more people to fawn over him. You think she'd yell at me for keeping a tiger cub, though?

[konpeito_aji]

No. I don't think Shougetsu would be as in danger of eating Mitsu as Wasabi.

[onecupdrunk]

I don't think Shougetsu is capable of pestering more than a few mice or rats right now. His hunting instincts are a little too immature for anything worse.

[ And hey, they're not going to get worse. As if to join the conversation, however, Masamune's (tiny) white tiger familiar hops up onto his shoulder, appearing fully-grown despite his diminuitive size. ]

Hey, Mochizuki. You're here to say hi to Nobunaga?

[konpeito_aji]

Hello Mochizuki. [Formal nod!] Is it just me or did he used to be bigger?

[onecupdrunk]

Nah, he's always been this size. Apparently he can make himself larger if he needs to, but this lets him save energy.

[ Masamune's just going to reach to gently scratch the top of Mochizuki's head while he's talking, which the little tiger seems content with. ],/small>

[konpeito_aji]

Hm. Convenient.

As far as I know, Kimon doesn't change sizes, but most seem duly scared. [Lowkey jealous? Yeah, he is.]