video un: konpeito_oni with un: fireprince

[konpeito_aji]

Make sure you get my good side!

[Oda Nobunaga is being filmed by someone else, and as he quickly makes apparent: hunting in the forest.]

Okay! This is Oda Nobunaga, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven. [He'll get tired of that mouthful... eventually.] Hijikata-sama is busy doing super important police work so I got Zuko to provide backup so I can show you proper sumo techniques on a bear fir! Those are trees in the shape of bears. Don't worry, if I get eaten, and can't cut my way free, Zuko will set it on fire, and then we'll show you how to make sure it doesn't spread to the forest!

First you need to lure it! [He has a fish for the bait.] In my time, we would give offerings and sacrifices, but since I want to wrestle one, not appease it--

[He doesn't get to finish the sentence before he gets sideswiped by an irritated bear fir. It was not lured by the fish. It was flushed out by Nobunaga's oni, but who's counting?]

[Nobunaga crashes into a tree, gets the wind knocked out of him... but he's grinning ear to ear.]

[And tackles the bear, trying to wrestle, or ride it, or... who the fuck knows?]

[It's a bit insane. But eventually he winds up inside it and cuts himself free...]

[And looks sorely disappointed.]

Ah... that's it? I didn't get to show anything off... Okay! Let's do the fire anyway! Zuko set me on fire!

[This can only end well.]

[On cue, a small puff of flame appears from the cameraman's unseen hands. The flames are weak. After another, only slightly bigger puff, a grumble can be heard, before one more unsteady, unimpressive lick of flames appears from thin air, followed by a hoarse:]

What the fuck?!

[Muttered under the firebender's breath. Finally, fourth must be the charm... and a gust of fire shoots forth, striking Nobunaga straight-on. Thank goodness the daimyo has healing magic because, uh, Zuko is clearly not fully in control of this fire he's magicking up. And he's very embarrassed to be short on juice on a live public feed. This whole thing isn't going exactly to plan, is it?]

[The grown warlord then holds up a finger, as his cuirass (at least it's not his Japanese armor? Is that better or worse?) smolders and gets hotter!] This technique isn't taught in my time, but you should all know it!

Stop! Drop! And roll!

[And he demonstrates.]

[The bear fir in the meanwhile has recollected, REFORMED itself... and just decides an idiot on fire is not worth trying to eat again. Good thinking. Off it goes!]

[No idiots were maimed in the making of this video. Don't play with fire. Or bear trees.]

Comments

[unstable]

Considering his usual choice of companionship, I highly doubt that.

[ Please, she's already established Nobunga is 100% an idiot. Maybe she can tell as she peers at him through the camera with disdain. ]

[konpeito_aji]

[She's not wrong!]

[But he matches haughtiness and then some.] I'll let no harm come to him. [Listen, if you can't make your enemies and general populace underestimate you as a complete moron, you can't have fun with life.]

[unstable]

Honestly, that's wise for you-- if something happens to him in your charge, I'll make sure the only thing left of you on this planet is a scorch mark.

[konpeito_aji]

[He laughs. Because that is the appropriate response, yes. But he understands -- somewhat. He's protective of Oichi, but if she had stayed with Nagamasa, prioritized the betrayer over him, would he still be?]

[... Let's just assume he gets it!]

Do not fear, Fire Princess. [Since he can't go with anything else, her chosen nickname will just have to do!] I will be even less than that, before I let the future of your world fail to achieve its true potential!

[That's grandiose as hell, almost 99.9% of people wouldn't understand a WORD of it, but he doesn't care. However, from the way Zuko has spoken of her, Nobunaga has a feeling she might understand a lot better than Zuko himself would!]

[Is this way too grandiose a boast for a first encounter? Yes, absolutely. Will that stop him? Not a chance?]

[unstable]

[ She squints at him, the boisterous display hardly appreciated but the sentiment is well received. No wonder Zuko befriended him so quickly, he was fond of the theatrics. ]

Just don't be surprised at how easily Zuko seems to endanger himself.

[konpeito_aji]

[Yeahhhhh... Nobunaga is dramatic as hell!]

[But he nods.] I know the type.

[He IS that type. BUT ALSO -- he's used to having protect someone even crazier than himself, and Zuko combined. Were that person here, Nobunaga wouldn't be doing this; because Hideyoshi would have found some way to teleport in and take the fire, and get eaten, and wouldn't even let Nobunaga play tennis. Hideyoshi is too much like that.]

Don't worry, this is simply training, not reinforcing bad habits.

[unstable]

Stop telling me to worry, I think you have pegged this relationship all wrong. You are free to hurt him, just know there's consequences for it.

[ Please don't assume she's the protective sister type, thanks. ]

1/2

[konpeito_aji]

[JUST LAUGHS. SORRY, NOT SORRY!]

But I don't want him to get hurt! I want to be the masochist in this relationship!

[Lakjsdlaiksjdlaksjdlaksj Don't phrase it like that!]

2/2

[konpeito_aji]

[But for realsies, he heard a decent amount of Azula's relationship with Zuko, and given Nobunaga's own siblings, half of whom he personally murdered after several bloody wars and their attempts to assassinate him--]

[He just leans in smugly to his comm.]

You'll be a lot cuter when you can admit what it is you want from others. Even if just to yourself.

[This is a trainwreck. How is having someone else set him on the fire not the low point of dumbass life decisions for this post?]

[unstable]

[ He's after the wrong sibling to be the masochist for, that's for certain. It's too bad she's unable to make such a joke, far more irritated with the words that follow to even pretend to be chummy. Azula's eyes are rolling. ]

Clearly there is something wrong with you. You are very obviously looking to die today.

[konpeito_aji]

[Hence the daring her! But she isn't amused, and he's too used to that.]

Demon Kings don't die that easily. Only by hands they trust.

[Speaking of which, he waves a hand, and leans back against a tree, not entirely disappointed, but definitely dialing it back down.]

I can't die, and leave my ambition unfulfilled. Likewise, I won't let anyone I need fall along the way.

[unstable]

[ If he was hoping to impress her, it didn't work. 'Demon Kings' talk will just go right over her head, but with context clues she can tell whatever it is gives him confidence in his ability to leave Zuko unharmed. At least she knows they're Mostly all on the same level here, magic-wise. ]

Right. [ A beat. Was she satisfied with that answer? Either way, she was growing bored of the conversation. ] So he is safe in your care physically, but remember public perception of him is just as important-- stop letting a prince look like such an idiot in your charge as well.

[konpeito_aji]

[No. Not even a little. Nobunaga doesn't care whether he impresses, confuses, inspires confidence, or any of it. He just wants to be free to do what he wants.]

[Still leaning against the tree, the smug is dialed back up about halfway, though not as bad, at least.] Is that how it came across to you?

[She reminds him of Gozen, his mother.]

[unstable]

I believe that's how it came across to everyone.

[ It's hard to establish a reputation of being from a great nation when prince charming is constantly showing the entire world of Avalon how spectacular!!! he is. ]

Honestly, I should be used to his poor decisions by now but every day it's a new surprise.

[konpeito_aji]

You believe?

You base your opinion of your own family on a belief, not fact?

Listen Princess, I was asked to film and demonstrate dealing with bear firs. I've spoken with those responding, and while I'm sure many people skimmed by and dismissed it entirely, the overwhelming assumption on everyone's part is that [Zippo, Prince Zuko -- what's in a name, title, label? Everything] your little brother is an upstanding smart young man led astray by a general idiot.

Worry less about appearances, and focus on enjoying life. It's short. Live it. Not according to idiots' expectations, but your own desires.

[Maximum haughty intensifies. He doesn't care if this doesn't help, he's actually riled up.]