[Audio] UN: Greywords

[heartlessswordsman]

Let's see... I've never put anything on this network thing before, so. Here's hoping I do this right...

[There's a pause, accompanied by the sound of rustling while this guy tries to figure out wtf he's doing. Zel can't technology for shit ok, give him a minute.]

Okay, there. My name is Zelgadis, and I'm interested in hearing more about alchemy. Specifically, I want to learn more about how it pertains to the creation of chimeras. Nothing I've been able to read so far has been of very much help, and I'm unable to preform alchemy myself, so I was hoping that reaching out like this might yield better results. So... hm. I didn't think this through very well... That's about all I have, I think. If you're able to use alchemy, or know someone who can, please get in touch with me.

...Okay, now how do I turn this off--

[And then it abruptly ends in the least cool way possible.]

Comments

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[heartlessswordsman]

[It's all good, he replies in text too so there doesn't have to be any awkward staring]

I'm not trying to make chimeras, I want to find a way to reverse the process.

[sulit]

You want to... unmake chimeras?

Sounds weirder. And more dangerous. Chimeras do not generally appreciate being unmade.

[heartlessswordsman]

I get that it's dangerous, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. At the very least, I can promise that I wouldn't hurt anybody.

[sulit]

When you mess around with dangerous creatures, people get hurt whether you want them to or not! But it's no skin off my back, I guess.

[She is drastically misreading the situation here.]

What exactly are you looking to figure out? Regarding alchemy and chimera unmaking? I can say that I have not unmade one before, so I don't have any practical experience.

[heartlessswordsman]

I'm not getting anything or anyone else involved in any experiments, if that's what you're thinking.

Right now I'm just trying to confirm whether or not it's even possible.

[sulit]

Hmm. Well, from what I've read, most texts say that alchemy with living creatures isn't possible. However, a lot of people get the idea that if they write about something being impossible, then everyone else will take their word for it and not try it. Which might be what they want in the first place.

*So* I suppose the only real way to know if it's possible is to make an attempt.

[heartlessswordsman]

They'll either take their word for it, or try to prove them wrong.

I'll look into other kinds of magic before I try anything drastic.

[sulit]

Hmm. One moment. Be right back!

[She's not one to be content with not having an answer, so she's going to go do a quick test. She doesn't respond to any messages for about twenty minutes, before she suddenly returns.]

Well! Good news and bad news!

Bad news is that I can't seem to alchemize with something that's alive. It *could* be that I just don't have the knack for it. I can keep working with it.

Good news is, um... No adverse reactions? It just didn't work. A nice change of pace from what is a particularly frustrating school of magic.

[heartlessswordsman]

[YO WHAT THE FUCK DON'T DO ANYTHING DANGEROUS?????]

What did you do? Did you seriously just try to alchemize yourself?

[sulit]

What. No??

I tried to alchemize a tree. I've been working with wood already, so it shouldn't have been any different, but it still didn't work the way it should have. I don't know what exactly makes a tree different from a log, but that's beside the point.

Why did you think I would experiment on myself??

[heartlessswordsman]

Sorry. I have a bad habit of letting my mind wander to the worst case scenario.

That's good information to have, though. If it doesn't work because the tree's alive, that means that alchemy isn't going to help me with what I'm after.

[sulit]

[He's right to trust his instincts. She absolutely would have tried it if there wasn't a better option available. Long term consequences are not her forte.]

Can I ask why you're trying to unmake a chimera? Or where you even found one? I haven't seen any about since I've been here, and I figure that definitely would have been mentioned somewhere.

[heartlessswordsman]

I don't know if there are any more here. The chimera that I'm trying to find a cure for is me.

[sulit]

What.

You're not a chimera.

[Klaudia, that's rude.]

[heartlessswordsman]

[YEAH THAT IS SUPER RUDE]

I wasn't made with animals. I'm a human that was combined with a golem and a demon. Still a chimera.

[sulit]

That's not a chimera???

Chimeras are huge, feral creatures. Ten feet tall. They have three heads: one goat, one lion, one dragon, and the features of its body are combined from those animals. Dragon wings and tail, lion paws, goat hooves, etc. The dragon head also breathes fire.

[heartlessswordsman]

Well obviously "chimera" has a different meaning where you're from. Where I'm from, it's a being that's created after fusing two or more living things together.

1/2

[sulit]

They can't *do* that. Words have meanings!

Gods. What kind of multiverse is this that allows people to forego having any kind of standards for nomenclature! They don't even have the decency to have *magic* work in a consistent fashion, and now here we are, unable to even trust the *words* we use to *describe things*!!!

[Hold on, she just needs a moment...]

2/2

[sulit]

[A few seconds later...]

Okay. Fine.

I thought you were an earth genasi of some kind, I don't know... But alright. Chimera. Sure.

I do not know how to evict the rocks?? or the demons from your personage.

[That's sure a sentence.]

How did that even *happen*? Did you make a pact with a fiend or something?

[heartlessswordsman]

I don't know why things are the way they are, I'm just trying to exist over here.

It wasn't anything like that, there was a priest who used me as an experiment.

[sulit]

Unfortunate. I assume he's dead?

[heartlessswordsman]

We killed him twice. And a clone of him. So he's technically dead three times over.

[sulit]

Well. I don't know whether to think that's overkill or evidence that you weren't efficient enough the first time.

Either way, it's a shame you can't ask him how to undo it. Primary sources really are the best sources, but barring that...

If we could determine the barrier preventing alchemy from working on living things, then maybe we could isolate that factor and formulate a plan to separate the other things out of you. Though... I do wonder if that means there'd be two other people existing from your separation?

Were you separate people before?

[heartlessswordsman]

When I did have a chance to ask him, he said there was no cure. I wasn't willing to accept that as an answer.

I've only ever been me. Maybe the process that was used to turn me into a chimera killed the other beings that I was fused with, assuming that other living things were even used at all.

[sulit]

Interesting.

Maybe they weren't alive at all. It did remind me of something someone else told me, but it was only a question. There's no reason that all of the materials for this "alchemization" would have had to be living.

If anything, it makes things much easier. There's only one barrier to overcome, rather than three. Lucky break.