[Audio] UN: Greywords

[heartlessswordsman]

Let's see... I've never put anything on this network thing before, so. Here's hoping I do this right...

[There's a pause, accompanied by the sound of rustling while this guy tries to figure out wtf he's doing. Zel can't technology for shit ok, give him a minute.]

Okay, there. My name is Zelgadis, and I'm interested in hearing more about alchemy. Specifically, I want to learn more about how it pertains to the creation of chimeras. Nothing I've been able to read so far has been of very much help, and I'm unable to preform alchemy myself, so I was hoping that reaching out like this might yield better results. So... hm. I didn't think this through very well... That's about all I have, I think. If you're able to use alchemy, or know someone who can, please get in touch with me.

...Okay, now how do I turn this off--

[And then it abruptly ends in the least cool way possible.]

Comments

[heartlessswordsman]

[YEAH THAT IS SUPER RUDE]

I wasn't made with animals. I'm a human that was combined with a golem and a demon. Still a chimera.

[sulit]

That's not a chimera???

Chimeras are huge, feral creatures. Ten feet tall. They have three heads: one goat, one lion, one dragon, and the features of its body are combined from those animals. Dragon wings and tail, lion paws, goat hooves, etc. The dragon head also breathes fire.

[heartlessswordsman]

Well obviously "chimera" has a different meaning where you're from. Where I'm from, it's a being that's created after fusing two or more living things together.

1/2

[sulit]

They can't *do* that. Words have meanings!

Gods. What kind of multiverse is this that allows people to forego having any kind of standards for nomenclature! They don't even have the decency to have *magic* work in a consistent fashion, and now here we are, unable to even trust the *words* we use to *describe things*!!!

[Hold on, she just needs a moment...]

2/2

[sulit]

[A few seconds later...]

Okay. Fine.

I thought you were an earth genasi of some kind, I don't know... But alright. Chimera. Sure.

I do not know how to evict the rocks?? or the demons from your personage.

[That's sure a sentence.]

How did that even *happen*? Did you make a pact with a fiend or something?

[heartlessswordsman]

I don't know why things are the way they are, I'm just trying to exist over here.

It wasn't anything like that, there was a priest who used me as an experiment.

[sulit]

Unfortunate. I assume he's dead?

[heartlessswordsman]

We killed him twice. And a clone of him. So he's technically dead three times over.

[sulit]

Well. I don't know whether to think that's overkill or evidence that you weren't efficient enough the first time.

Either way, it's a shame you can't ask him how to undo it. Primary sources really are the best sources, but barring that...

If we could determine the barrier preventing alchemy from working on living things, then maybe we could isolate that factor and formulate a plan to separate the other things out of you. Though... I do wonder if that means there'd be two other people existing from your separation?

Were you separate people before?

[heartlessswordsman]

When I did have a chance to ask him, he said there was no cure. I wasn't willing to accept that as an answer.

I've only ever been me. Maybe the process that was used to turn me into a chimera killed the other beings that I was fused with, assuming that other living things were even used at all.

[sulit]

Interesting.

Maybe they weren't alive at all. It did remind me of something someone else told me, but it was only a question. There's no reason that all of the materials for this "alchemization" would have had to be living.

If anything, it makes things much easier. There's only one barrier to overcome, rather than three. Lucky break.

[heartlessswordsman]

At the very least, it would mean that less lives would be lost if something were to go wrong.

[sulit]

That does not sound like a vote of confidence to me. I will have you know, I have never gotten anyone killed in any of my experiments. And I'm not about to start now.

[heartlessswordsman]

In all fairness, I know nothing about you.

[sulit]

Well, let's see. I'm an avid magical researcher. An artisan. A font of determination and intelligence and skill. ✨

And I'm positively adorable.

What more do you need to know?

[heartlessswordsman]

Are you kidding right now? You could tell me that you're a cave troll or some kind of goblin and I'd have no way to prove or disprove it.

[sulit]

Rude. I'm much cuter than that.

I could turn on my camera and prove I'm neither of those, but does what I look like really matter that much? Is that actually going to tell you anything?

I've been studying magic since I was a child, and I'm good at what I do. If you need a resume, I could write you one, but I'd much rather just show you my notes when I'm done.

[heartlessswordsman]

I don't really give a damn what you look like, to be honest.

[I mean it would be pretty hypocritical if he did, all things considered.]

I guess all I can do right now is take your word for it.