image+text; < thearchitect >

[emet_sulk]

[ Sometime during the month, an image is uploaded (the infamous LONG BREAD), accompanied by the following caption: ]

Assist me in proving a point to my unrepentant friend: this is not how one slices bread.

Comments

Text, un: fashiondeva

[corpsewarblade]

What. NO.

Who even does that?? Like, seriously, that's such a waste of a loaf!

Like, even looking at that pisses. Me. Off.

[emet_sulk]

I'm sure my friend would be glad to hear that. He is certainly having great fun at my and everyone else's expense.

It seems, however, that the score is fairly even between those who approve and those who do not.

[corpsewarblade]

Ergh, I bet that's exactly the reason he did it...

Seriously, there's people here who actually approve of that? They're just saying stupid stuff to be funny, right?

[emet_sulk]

Some appear to be quite serious. It seems that rather than gaining allies myself, I have inadvertently pointed him at new people to befriend.

[corpsewarblade]

Yeah pretty sure they're just messing with you at this point.

I mean unless everyone here really is deluded. Or likes wasting food or whatever.

Please tell me the rest of that loaf didn't get tossed out?

[emet_sulk]

Of course not. What do you take me for? If he will insist on cutting the remainder of the loaf the same way then I shall make him finish it, whether he likes it or not.

[corpsewarblade]

Ha, yeah, definitely make him finish the job! It's his own fault.

I guess you could like, put a spread on it and roll it up, maybe? That's the only way I can see that slice redeeming itself.

[emet_sulk]

A few others have suggested the same. I have half a mind to lather it with cream and make a crude roll cake out of it to feed to my friend.

[corpsewarblade]

What, like, see how many of the things he can get through before he barfs? Hey if you're gonna do that you gotta at least tape it so we can laugh at it right?

Oh, the name's Junko by the way. Junko Enoshima.

Think this is up there in weirdest first conversations I've had with someone.

[emet_sulk]

[ He smirks to himself as he replies. ]

Precisely.

You may call me Emet-Selch. My foolish friend goes by Hythlodaeus. I wish I could say I have never had such conversations before, but 'twould be a lie.

[corpsewarblade]

Nice to meet you Emet-Selch! :)

So is Hythlodaeus usually the one dragging you into weird talks like this?

[emet_sulk]

Not 'usually'. Always. One cannot even have a civil debate with him without it turning into some nonsensical discussion over a topic unrelated to the original point.

[corpsewarblade]

Ergh, I know the sort... so frustrating.

Anyway, I'll let you get back to planning your roll-cake revenge! Don't forget to film it if it goes hilariously badly, k?

[emet_sulk]

Of course. I would never miss a chance to humiliate my mischievous friend.

'Twas a pleasure speaking with you, Junko Enoshima.

[corpsewarblade]

Yeah, you too! See you around Emet-Selch!