text; un: signorvespa

[prontissimo]

i hate this

the sky has been leaking for DAYs... WEEKS??

it's so cold my eyes are frozen!

i hate this weird white water

i want to go outside...



[ A photo of a colored pencil drawing is attached... depicting Alberto "(in a blanket)" beside his familiar Carlo and his pet compsognathus Sofia, trapped inside his home "(forever?)," labeled "cold, alone... and fed up!" beneath falling snow — AKA "weird white water??? (every day...!!!)" — outside the window... All of them clearly "very unhappy" — the sheer image of misery itself. ]

SO!
let's trade!!!
anyone who can help me find or make something like this, i'll cook you food or something, whatever, we'll talk......
but as soon as possible,
i need one of THESE:



[ Another image is attached of Alberto wearing what... seems to be a diver's suit? Or something??? Holding a "giant umbrella" in one hand and Sofia on a leash in a harness in the other, Carlo floating above, all "dry, safe, warm, and NOT at home..." There's still plenty of snow white water around them, "but not on Alberto!" Most importantly, though, in this drawing, they're all happy! — as... baffling as it is to anyone else, surely... No thanks, no niceties, just complaints and demands, urgent, desperate, and maybe a little, um, bizarre? Un po. The kid's gone mad with cabin fever, possibly? This is... well... th-this is something. Definitely something. Ahem. ]

Comments

Text; un: smoking_bomb

[bakudan_bambino]

You draw Sofia very big, Lucertola Papà.

Why can’t you just go and buy cold weather waders? They have the boots built into them, and you can put on a heavy coat with a hood. It should keep you safe from getting wet or too cold.

[prontissimo]

hey nonnuccio!
i didnt know about these anti-water waders but i want them
i dont have any money
do you

[ griuhsjndfkm,wsd this brat is just getting all his kicks needling Gokudera for no reason, why ]

[bakudan_bambino]

I do. School pays me.

[He doesn’t have a lot of money, but enough saved to contribute. Gokudera has been stuck in all sorts of cold situations a world or two back, gotten sick because of it. Winter-wear is important.]

Waders are usually worn by fishermen, so they can wade into water without getting wet. They’re like pants with built-in shoes and go up to your chest, clipping over your shoulders.

They may have some as snow-suits, so they will not only keep you dry, but warm.

[Good thing Gokudera is more eager to help than he is to argue. This kid is just ignorant, and that’s not worth getting angry over.

The nickname though…]

Stop calling me that. My name is Gokudera, brutto bambino lucertola.

[prontissimo]

dont call ME that and then i wont call you nonno 😑

[ He's okay with lizard papa and all that, but ugly lizard boy, he has to draw a line... Gokudera doesn't even know the half of it. But Alberto fancies himself at least not ugly, if not good-looking. Maybe. At least in his own "ugly lizard boy" form, he knows he's not ugly by sea monster standards. By human standards, when he's on land...? Not so certain. But still gotta retain some dignity here, all right. Nonno isn't that insulting...! It kinda is, though. ]

anyway
i want waders
and a snowsuit
whatever keeps me dry
warm is a bonus

[ He's... got his priorities wrong, seems like...? ]

[bakudan_bambino]

I don’t believe you.

I’ll talk to my boss about it, see if he has anything ideas to help you.

[prontissimo]

then thats your problem. but im not lying.

[ He's lying. ]

your gonna ask your boss?? where do you work?

[ A reasonable assumption. ]

[bakudan_bambino]

Alright. I guess we will see.

[Gokudera wont believe him for long, how ‘bout that?]

Yeah, I will. The Tenth has good taste.

A, that’s top secret business.

[prontissimo]

oooh you have a secret job?!! cool!!! can i guess?? are you a burglar??! like marcello mastroianni in that movie?! il solito ignoto! HAH!

[ "Top secret business" —> "can I guess?"

That's not how this works, Alberto. This isn't Big Deal on Madonna Street, don't be making puns here. It's real life...! Kids are annoying. Or maybe just Alberto. ]

[bakudan_bambino]

yes I do

yes you can guess, but I won’t tell you when n you guess right.

no I’m not a burglar

[prontissimo]

[ Alberto weighs this for a slight moment before responding. So he'll tell him if he guesses wrong, but if he won't tell him when he guesses right, then... that'll be the only time he won't tell him he guessed wrong. So he'll tell him he's guessed right — indirectly. Hah. He's got this. Challenge accepted. ]

spy

[bakudan_bambino]

[Sometimes his job will require him to act like a spy…]

try again

[prontissimo]

undercover royalty

[ i-is that a job...? ]

[bakudan_bambino]

No

[Maybe, though? He knows enough royalty.]

[prontissimo]

bounty hunter

[bakudan_bambino]

no

[prontissimo]

private investigator

[bakudan_bambino]

non

Should I tell you if you are getting colder or warmer in regards to the type?

[prontissimo]

i thought you said you wouldnt tell me, eh? but you wanna give me hints?

[bakudan_bambino]

Do you really want to do this all day?

[prontissimo]

im trapped inside
i have time
🙃

[bakudan_bambino]

fair enough

[prontissimo]

alright then

what about...
police
but like
SECRET police

[ He's making this up, he doesn't know that's even a thing. ]

[bakudan_bambino]

No. But that’s a little warm.

[prontissimo]

woah really??
ok

OH IVE GOT IT
superhero!!!

[ He knows a couple of those here! Totally a fair guess! ]

[bakudan_bambino]

No.

[Not like the heroes that go to hero school. More like vigilante outlaw.]