text; un: signorvespa

[prontissimo]

i hate this

the sky has been leaking for DAYs... WEEKS??

it's so cold my eyes are frozen!

i hate this weird white water

i want to go outside...



[ A photo of a colored pencil drawing is attached... depicting Alberto "(in a blanket)" beside his familiar Carlo and his pet compsognathus Sofia, trapped inside his home "(forever?)," labeled "cold, alone... and fed up!" beneath falling snow — AKA "weird white water??? (every day...!!!)" — outside the window... All of them clearly "very unhappy" — the sheer image of misery itself. ]

SO!
let's trade!!!
anyone who can help me find or make something like this, i'll cook you food or something, whatever, we'll talk......
but as soon as possible,
i need one of THESE:



[ Another image is attached of Alberto wearing what... seems to be a diver's suit? Or something??? Holding a "giant umbrella" in one hand and Sofia on a leash in a harness in the other, Carlo floating above, all "dry, safe, warm, and NOT at home..." There's still plenty of snow white water around them, "but not on Alberto!" Most importantly, though, in this drawing, they're all happy! — as... baffling as it is to anyone else, surely... No thanks, no niceties, just complaints and demands, urgent, desperate, and maybe a little, um, bizarre? Un po. The kid's gone mad with cabin fever, possibly? This is... well... th-this is something. Definitely something. Ahem. ]

Comments

[bakudan_bambino]

[Sometimes his job will require him to act like a spy…]

try again

[prontissimo]

undercover royalty

[ i-is that a job...? ]

[bakudan_bambino]

No

[Maybe, though? He knows enough royalty.]

[prontissimo]

bounty hunter

[bakudan_bambino]

no

[prontissimo]

private investigator

[bakudan_bambino]

non

Should I tell you if you are getting colder or warmer in regards to the type?

[prontissimo]

i thought you said you wouldnt tell me, eh? but you wanna give me hints?

[bakudan_bambino]

Do you really want to do this all day?

[prontissimo]

im trapped inside
i have time
🙃

[bakudan_bambino]

fair enough

[prontissimo]

alright then

what about...
police
but like
SECRET police

[ He's making this up, he doesn't know that's even a thing. ]

[bakudan_bambino]

No. But that’s a little warm.

[prontissimo]

woah really??
ok

OH IVE GOT IT
superhero!!!

[ He knows a couple of those here! Totally a fair guess! ]

[bakudan_bambino]

No.

[Not like the heroes that go to hero school. More like vigilante outlaw.]

[prontissimo]

[ Hmm... maybe he meant, like, the opposite of police. He deals with police in his job. Police would want to arrest him. Like a criminal. ]

youre not a thief
so you dont steal stuff
but maybe you SELL stolen stuff
and make a profit
so the police are out to get you too!

your an illegal... stuff... monger?

[ Big brain, Alberto. ]

[bakudan_bambino]

No.

[prontissimo]

giant crazy cat trader

il maggiore would DEFINITELY have a problem with a cat like uri running around portorosso!! i mean you'd at least get a TICKET or something!

[bakudan_bambino]

Uri was a GIFT!

[prontissimo]

yikes
ok

[ Questioning who the hell thought to give that thing as a gift, but okay. ]

secret sea monster hunter?

[bakudan_bambino]

no

And you’re getting colder. I would love to be a mystery hunter.

But unfortunately I am not

[prontissimo]

you'd love to hunt sea monsters? serioudly?

[ Pausing this game momentarily just to dwell on that point. ]

[bakudan_bambino]

No. I’m hunting the mystery, and it’s not just sea monsters. It’s like… I want my job to be proving that mysterious creatures exist!

It doesn’t mean much in this world.

Also my familiar is a Lariosauro.

[prontissimo]

so if you found one youd kidnap it, but not murder it? or what?

i dont know what a lariosauro is
im guessing some kinda mysterious monster?

[bakudan_bambino]

I would neither capture or murder it.

Lariosauro is a sea monster. Kind of looks like a strange giant lizard?