text; un: signorvespa

[prontissimo]

i hate this

the sky has been leaking for DAYs... WEEKS??

it's so cold my eyes are frozen!

i hate this weird white water

i want to go outside...



[ A photo of a colored pencil drawing is attached... depicting Alberto "(in a blanket)" beside his familiar Carlo and his pet compsognathus Sofia, trapped inside his home "(forever?)," labeled "cold, alone... and fed up!" beneath falling snow — AKA "weird white water??? (every day...!!!)" — outside the window... All of them clearly "very unhappy" — the sheer image of misery itself. ]

SO!
let's trade!!!
anyone who can help me find or make something like this, i'll cook you food or something, whatever, we'll talk......
but as soon as possible,
i need one of THESE:



[ Another image is attached of Alberto wearing what... seems to be a diver's suit? Or something??? Holding a "giant umbrella" in one hand and Sofia on a leash in a harness in the other, Carlo floating above, all "dry, safe, warm, and NOT at home..." There's still plenty of snow white water around them, "but not on Alberto!" Most importantly, though, in this drawing, they're all happy! — as... baffling as it is to anyone else, surely... No thanks, no niceties, just complaints and demands, urgent, desperate, and maybe a little, um, bizarre? Un po. The kid's gone mad with cabin fever, possibly? This is... well... th-this is something. Definitely something. Ahem. ]

Comments

[dottedline]

So you start with one.

[God. How did this kid live to be fourteen?!]

[prontissimo]

Well— too late. I've already got the four. I'll figure it out. I just gotta get some good snow-clothes so I can go outside again and keep practicing.

[dottedline]

Find a teacher before you lose a hand, please.

[Just. What.]

[prontissimo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Anyway, I want a teacher. I met this guy... He has light magic like me, and he was really good with his sword. I want him to teach me. He was cool. Plus, like I said, Signora Della— the sky monster lady— she said she'll teach me how to fight. It was her idea I get a sword, actually.

[ So blame Della Duck if things go awry... ]

How come everyone's so worried about me losing my hands, eh? That's what Nonno said about my fireworks!

[ ghuirsfkjds fireworks are in the mix now?!?! ]

[dottedline]

[...yeah isn't Della a duck? Azul's seen her around the network?? What the hell.

ALSO WHAT THE HELL FIREWORKS? This kid is just a less dramatic Floyd, isn't he? Zero concern for things like safety.]

Because they're usually the first to go when you're messing with dangerous objects.

[prontissimo]

It's fiiine, I'm not gonna lose anything! Besides, I'm pretty much a fireworks expert by now! Some mean knight gave me a cool fireworks spell recipe cuz I stood up to him when he was bullying his lizard monsters. And me and my best friend combine my light magic and his elemental magic all the time to make even better fireworks. Plus, that Nonnuccio said he'll teach me how to make real fireworks, too, y'know, like humans make — he's an expert on bombs or something, so he knows what he's doing. I'm totally safe~

[ Alberto... seems like a walking disaster-waiting-to-happen. ]

[dottedline]

[Well. Azul tried and he is not getting paid for this so you know what:]

If that's what you think, go right ahead.

[prontissimo]

Uh, yeah, I will. Moving to the human town back home was way more dangerous than anything I've done here. Some jerk there tried to attack me with a harpoon like three times, at least! No one's tried to attack me with anything here — well, except some pumpkins, but they don't count.

[ Nevermind that the topic is how he's a danger to himself... ]