text; un: signorvespa

[prontissimo]

i hate this

the sky has been leaking for DAYs... WEEKS??

it's so cold my eyes are frozen!

i hate this weird white water

i want to go outside...



[ A photo of a colored pencil drawing is attached... depicting Alberto "(in a blanket)" beside his familiar Carlo and his pet compsognathus Sofia, trapped inside his home "(forever?)," labeled "cold, alone... and fed up!" beneath falling snow — AKA "weird white water??? (every day...!!!)" — outside the window... All of them clearly "very unhappy" — the sheer image of misery itself. ]

SO!
let's trade!!!
anyone who can help me find or make something like this, i'll cook you food or something, whatever, we'll talk......
but as soon as possible,
i need one of THESE:



[ Another image is attached of Alberto wearing what... seems to be a diver's suit? Or something??? Holding a "giant umbrella" in one hand and Sofia on a leash in a harness in the other, Carlo floating above, all "dry, safe, warm, and NOT at home..." There's still plenty of snow white water around them, "but not on Alberto!" Most importantly, though, in this drawing, they're all happy! — as... baffling as it is to anyone else, surely... No thanks, no niceties, just complaints and demands, urgent, desperate, and maybe a little, um, bizarre? Un po. The kid's gone mad with cabin fever, possibly? This is... well... th-this is something. Definitely something. Ahem. ]

Comments

[prontissimo]

Okayyy...

[ He's not most humans, though... A thought dawns on him. ]

Hey, wait, actually— aren't you that sea monster guy? I think I remember your username. You run a seafood restaurant, right— the one with the ironic pet fish, aha...

[ He did not forget that part... ]

What do you do about the, uh— the sn-ow...?

[ He said it a little weird, right pronunciation, wrong inflection, but he got it. At least they're moving past "weird white water." ]

[dottedline]

First: if you're not going to call me a merman, it's cecaelia. Not sea monster.

[Rude. At least where he's from.]

Second: they're not pets. As for what I do with the snow, I bundle up and resign myself to wet ankles for the next few months. It's really not so bad. Unless you get buried in the snow and stay there for months, you're usually not going to get too wet most of the time.

private;

[prontissimo]

Okay, look—

[ Why did he turn it on private, uh oh... ]

First: [ grjsknf mocking him is not a great start, Alberto ]

You're a sea person, or whatever, yeah? Where I'm from, people from the sea are called sea monsters. I'm pretty sure it's the same — even if it's different. Sea monsters are people the same as land monsters are people — so I'm not calling you a monster-monster. It's not an insult. Okay? Just to get that out of the way.

Second: Why aren't you worried about getting wet above the surface? I remember talking on video with you— you looked human. So I know you make the Change!

[ Why the hell does this kid sound so serious and ominous about this all of a sudden, almost accusatory, probing...? There are a lot of unspoken assumptions flying around here right now, um... ]

private;

[dottedline]

[Well if this smartass punk is going to private things, Azul feels comfortable dropping the vaguely polite-if-distant facade and switching right into his more natural, less polite (read: smarter than everyone and knows it) way of being.]

I don't care what they're called where you're from. I don't want to be called a sea monster, so don't call me one. It really is that simple.

[Moving on.]

My ability to look human is, back home, based on a potion. There's no "Change" involved, it's entirely alchemical. Here, so long as I'm not submerged in water I stay human.

[prontissimo]

Fine. Merman. Whatever.

But my point stands, here, at least, no potions and crap: if you're submerged in water, you make the Change back into a sea mon— into a merman. And when you dry off, you make the Change into a human. Correct?

But what about when the sky leaks...? When the water hits you, it doesn't show your scales? Or— whatever you have? You have to be completely underwater to make the Change...?

[dottedline]

More or less. I can control what form I take back home with the potion, but I guess that's too much to ask here.

[prontissimo]

But you don't have to worry about the sky leaking here. If you get wet above the surface, you still look human. But if you, I dunno, jump in the lake, or something, then you make the Change...?

[dottedline]

Yes, if the water is deep enough.

[So hot springs are fine, but a swimming pool might not be.]

[prontissimo]

Man... You're lucky. That's not how it is for me. That's annoying.

[ And a pretty much full-blown admission at long last that he's not human. Not that, err, it wasn't obvious, but— at least he's being outright. ]

[dottedline]

[It was so, so obvious. Did the kid really think he was being subtle?]

Try potions or an actual transformation spell while you're here. It has to be more practical than a wetsuit.

[prontissimo]

Do you know how to make those...? I hate being trapped inside.

[dottedline]

I know the recipe for the one back home, but I haven't gotten around to trying that here, assuming it's even legal. Ask other alchemists or Merlin, if you want something faster than I could promise right now.

[prontissimo]

I'll look into it. Someone said they're gonna get me a "raincoat" for now... It's anti-water clothes, I guess. It'll do.

[ There's a slight pause, but still in the same recording, he kind of— abruptly poses a personal question. ]

...Do you, uh— tell people you're a merman...? Or do you pretend to be human until you trust someone?

[dottedline]

I don't hide it, if that's what you're asking. If people want to make assumptions, that's not my problem.

[He just hides what he looks like most of the time.]

[prontissimo]

Don't land monsters hunt sea— I mean, uh— merpeople... where you're from? You live with the humans and they just— accept you?

[dottedline]

Yes? It's not like there's a lot of people who go between land and sea, but as far as I know humans have never intentionally hunted merpeople. Accidents happened, but that was it.

[prontissimo]

Oh. ...It's not like that where I'm from. And— even the nice people I've met here— like, for example, this really cool sky monster lady I know— I like her, and she likes me, but she told me straight up she thinks all sea creatures are gross and disgusting and she wants nothing to do with them... So even the people I trust— y'know— I can't trust...

...That's why I need the snow suit. Besides— you never know what kind of person will show up here, right? Humans— ...are great. I like humans. A lot. But— back home— most people just think they're out to do murders, heh.

[ Really poor job of masking that darkness with mirthless chuckles laced throughout — just pure, ironic rhetoric. After all that attitude, both conversations they've had... some dots are maybe connecting. Poor kid. ]

[dottedline]

[Yeah, Azul is starting to put the picture together. Small wonder he's so full of attitude and snark in this world full of humans.]

Just ignore that woman, since clearly she lacks any taste. As for trusting people...well, even if someone came here who tried to hunt you or whatever, this place is so full of good people they wouldn't be able to do more than spook you before someone swooped in to put a stop to that.

[prontissimo]

I don't wanna rely on other people, though. I can take care of myself! I don't need anyone else...! The sky monster lady was gonna teach me how to fight — she still might, I dunno, she doesn't know I'm a sea monster and I'm never gonna tell her now...! But— even if it's not from her, I still wanna learn how to fight! I found some swords?! [ read: he stole some swords... but he sure does not sound as confident in that as he means to. ]

I don't want to wait for someone to swoop in, y'know what I mean? Especially not a human saving me from another human. I'm tired of being saved...

[ But he can't do anything from inside his apartment. ]

[dottedline]

Yes, yes, obviously. What I meant was I don't think you have anything to fear from most of the people here. You could turn into a kraken and most of them would just swear off squid.

[It's disgusting.

Also:]

Why do you have swords.

[prontissimo]

Cuz they're cool? I gotta fight with something...! Besides, I had a sword on my island, and I know pretty much, like, everything about knives after working in the pescheria, and I have a bunch of knives in my kitchen here, too, so— swords seem right. Right?

[ No. ]

[dottedline]

[Okay Jade's dressing the kid so Azul will save the kid from chopping himself to bits.]

No. No they are not. They are not even close.

[prontissimo]

What? They definitely are. They're not the same, but, y'know, they're like— cousins. They're blades. Swords are just bigger knives.

[dottedline]

No, they are not.

[Why.]

Just. Forget the swords. Try something completely different from knives.

[prontissimo]

What?! Why?! But I already have four swords!

[ grhwusjnkfd why does he need four ]