text; un: selcouth

[sulit]

Hypothetical question: If given the opportunity to hold a chicken, how much would you pay to hold the most perfect chicken for an hour?

Comments

text - un:IZZYGRRRL83

[notwearingthekeds]

What the fuck sorta random question is this?

How could a chicken be perfect, it's a chicken.

[sulit]

The anatomical circumference of a chicken can achieve perfection by being equally tall as it is wide and containing no obtrusive angles. When viewed from any given side, a perfect chicken is one that most resembles a circle.

[notwearingthekeds]

That doesn't answer who the fuck would pay money to hold a chicken!

text | un: Rocketman

[vrepit_no]

I may have given you a slightly skewed view on how much humans like the concept of chickens. I would, however, pay you 1,000g per hour to be allowed to carry Peppercorn around and/or play/nap/cuddle.

[Guess who is not remotely sorry.]

[sulit]

Nonsense, you can't be the only one who likes holding a chicken. There's no reason that I shouldn't profit off of that~

And 1,000g per hour isn't a bad rate. I will take your offer into consideration. Would you pay more if I let you feed her?

[vrepit_no]

!!!! I'd definitely pay a few hundred for that! I didn't know that would be an option!

text; un: birdofprey (cw: mention of violence towards the chicken)

[notquitetamed]

Only way I'm paying to hold a chicken is if I can then proceed to pluck and cook it.

[sulit]

Wow, I can't believe you gave me such an amazing idea.

I am now going to have a ban list for holding this chicken, and yours is the first name on it. Congratulations~

[notquitetamed]

I feel honored to top that list. Truly, I'd be amazed if anyone can even hold the chicken for an hour.

text | un: weimou

[raveyardpatriarch]

I don't think I can sit still that long, how will I get my money's worth? Is there a by the minute rate instead?

[sulit]

Hmm. That is true. I don't think I've actually seen you sit still for an hour before. Or at all, combined. 🤭

Okay, then how much would you pay by the minute for this perfectly delightful chicken?

voice; un: ensignledo

[ferrytale]

What is the objective? Does the chicken have special properties? I thought chickens were a food creature.

[sulit]

[Begrudgingly, she'll switch to voice to field this question.]

This chicken has the special property of being adorable and docile. A perfect feathered orb to place upon your lap. The objective being... you just hold her! Have you never held an animal before? It's very relaxing.

Anyway, if all chickens were for food, then we wouldn't have eggs, now would we?

text; un: coolguykeigo

[asano_san]

Is that what they do where you're from instead of cat cafes?

[sulit]

What? No, of course not. We don't have any cafes like that, cat or chicken besides.

I just thought that some people might like to hold a chicken. Do *you* get a chance to hold chickens where you're from?

text; un: 0123

[scension]

Looking after an animal for an hour sounds like something you should be paying *them* for...

[sulit]

Oh, it's not looking after them. It is very much the luxury of being allowed to hold this magnificent creature.

Especially since I am discovering that there are way too many people here who don't understand the difference between food and a pet.

text; un: seaglass

[arsonal]

already have the perfect chicken

[sulit]

Hmmm. *Do* you?

Is Rishi more perfect than Peppercorn? I don't know about that.

text; un: boring

[wukuiyuxin]

To Klaudia

Set clear rules of conduct for interacting with the chicken ahead of time.

-Lan Wangji

[sulit]

Of course! I would be a very poor chicken-keeper if I let just any person interact unsupervised with my charge.

I mean, Peppercorn is used to putting up with a lot, but that doesn't mean she *should*.

text; un: heaven&hell

[roppou]

is this like one of those tourist traps?

[sulit]

What part of this is a trap? I'm only asking a question. How much is holding a perfect chicken worth?

un: cassius

[moonspiracy]

The perfection of the chicken is in the eye of the beholder. One prefers a soft chicken, the other a fluffy one, one is fond of brown feathers, the other white. Another might be hungry and deems a perfect chicken one that is roasted above a fire.

Hypothetical or not, your question is completely illogical.

[sulit]

[How dare??]

The question isn't illogical. The subjective perfection of the chicken is *part* of the question, since I never presented a chicken for inspection. *If* a perfect chicken is presented to you, there's nothing logically unsound about asking what monetary worth you place on holding that chicken.