text; un: m. edgeworth

[jurisprudence]

It has quickly become apparent to me that my office is in need of dire need of a bailiff. Accordingly, interested individuals should submit their credentials directly to me or inquire in person at the location below.

[Here he lists the street address of a public building at the edge of the city of Camelot, near the Dusklight Woods — presumably some sort of rural courthouse or administrative building that primarily services the farmlands to the north of the city.]

Be prepared to offer a concise but detailed explanation of how you would maintain order when presented with the following situations:

1) One (or several) wild chickens have been set loose in the arbiter's chamber.

2) A claimant has chained themselves to the the bar with a length of tow chain and refuses to unlock the same until their demand for satisfaction has been granted.

3) A claimant, impatient for their turn to be heard, has assaulted a fellow waiting claimant by striking them upside the head with a large gourd.

Serious applicants only.

— M. Edgeworth


[So Edgeworth has gotten himself a job in public service mediating disputes among the NPCs, Judge Judy-style. It, uh. Certainly is going, for him. Does he even have the authority to do hiring like this? Probably not. Is that going to stop him? Nope.]

Comments

[disasdeer]

Antlers aren't particularly heavy, mine are less than ten pounds - close to five probably. It's kind of like if you were wearing glasses. If you're new to them you might notice their presence, but if you've had them awhile, you stop noticing. It's pretty easy to forget they're here.

[ Small, clearly insincere smile. ]

Why would you think they do?

[jurisprudence]

A pair of glasses also weighs at most a few ounces; quite a difference from five pounds of weight being carted around on one's head at all times.

[disasdeer]

It's five pounds I grew into. Honestly, I'd prefer if they were grander. Obviously it's not the same thing, but that's the idea behind it. You get used to it. You don't even really notice, and it feels stranger after they shed.

[jurisprudence]

You started with smaller ones, and they worked you up to the current sort? I suppose that's sensible.

["After they shed", what a pretentious way of talking about getting out of costume. Actors.]

I admit I don't particularly understand why you'd want the ones you have, much less anything bigger. They must get in the way.

[disasdeer]

What? Yeah, when I was smaller, they were smaller. That makes sense, though

[ He definitely thinks Edgeworth is just confused. There's just something he isn't getting. Oh well, once he figures it out, he'll be sure to exploit it to its fullest. He seems like he might deserve that. ]

Why wouldn't I? That's like a big part of me. It'd be pretty strange for a male deer to not have antlers, right?

What could they possibly get in the way of? I can do everything I need.