text; un: m. edgeworth

[jurisprudence]

It has quickly become apparent to me that my office is in need of dire need of a bailiff. Accordingly, interested individuals should submit their credentials directly to me or inquire in person at the location below.

[Here he lists the street address of a public building at the edge of the city of Camelot, near the Dusklight Woods — presumably some sort of rural courthouse or administrative building that primarily services the farmlands to the north of the city.]

Be prepared to offer a concise but detailed explanation of how you would maintain order when presented with the following situations:

1) One (or several) wild chickens have been set loose in the arbiter's chamber.

2) A claimant has chained themselves to the the bar with a length of tow chain and refuses to unlock the same until their demand for satisfaction has been granted.

3) A claimant, impatient for their turn to be heard, has assaulted a fellow waiting claimant by striking them upside the head with a large gourd.

Serious applicants only.

— M. Edgeworth


[So Edgeworth has gotten himself a job in public service mediating disputes among the NPCs, Judge Judy-style. It, uh. Certainly is going, for him. Does he even have the authority to do hiring like this? Probably not. Is that going to stop him? Nope.]

Comments

[jurisprudence]

Actually, your objection seems to be more that I don't think outside the boundaries of logic. Which is true; I don't make it a point to entertain the nonsensical. Clearly you do.

Why don't you play out your analogy, then, and demonstrate where it leads?

[grilletto]

no i mean outside of the box
laser eyes aren't logical either, so don't try to pull that shit
and if i could demonstrate it i would, trust me
but things here don't work the same way that they did back home
not for me and i'm guessing not for you either

[jurisprudence]

You're fixating on the concept of laser eyes and not on the concept the hypothetical was used to demonstrate.

Are you incapable of critical thinking?

[grilletto]

hey! i'm capable when i need to be
right now i don't really need to be
and i'm not gonna lie typing laser eyes is kind of fun at this point
i get the hypothetical but it's all bullshit until it actually happens
the truth is no one can say for sure how they're going to react to something
you can plan all you want, but things change when you're in the moment
outside factors, bad planning, there's a lot that can get in the way

[jurisprudence]

Then by your own logic, you lied when you said initially that you had answers to my questions, because you couldn't possibly tell me how you'd react in any of the listed situations because you're not physically in the moment of any of them.

So which is it? Are you a liar, or are you wrong?

[grilletto]

you already knew i lied
you and i both know it

[jurisprudence]

Then why, exactly, should I afford any weight to the words of an admitted liar?

[grilletto]

because i'm good at what i do

and mostly i lied because i thought you were being rude
i was just trying call your bluff