image+text; < thearchitect >

[emet_sulk]

[ Sometime during the month, an image is uploaded (the infamous LONG BREAD), accompanied by the following caption: ]

Assist me in proving a point to my unrepentant friend: this is not how one slices bread.

Comments

[emet_sulk]

These loaves are meant to be sliced, not rolled.

Who in their right mind would use it for such a purpose when there already exists purpose-made bread rolls?

[monostich]

I'm beginning to realize I'm not sure what a bread roll is if it's not rolled bread.

As for why you would do it... Why not? It's always good to try new things, isn't it?

[He... Thinks? He did not think bread could make him feel out of his depth, but here he is.]

[emet_sulk]

[ A sigh to himself. ]

I assure you my friend did not do this in the interest of trying something new

A bread roll is a short, rounded piece of bread designed to be pulled slightly apart at the centre so one might add butter or other ingredients.

[monostich]

Does he just want to bother you?

[Which. Why would someone Do that.]

Oh. Yeah. I've definitely never seen bread in a form close to that at all. It sounds... Interesting?

[emet_sulk]

I struggle to think of a time when he is not attempting to bother me.

You may find it worthwhile to visit a bakery and avail yourself of the various breads and pastries there. If you aren't familiar with a mere bread roll, I'm sure 'twill be a novel experience.

[monostich]

Then why is he your friend?

Probably. There's a lot of things we weren't allowed to have I have to learn about now, it seems... Apologies if it's been a bit of a bother!!

[emet_sulk]

You have not been. There is no shame in curiosity - only in wilful ignorance.

As for why I call him my friend: tiresome though he may be, he has remained by my side through many, many years. He knows better than I when to pull me back after I have gone too far. I love him as much as I hate his foolery, but I suspect I would love him less if he were as serious as I.

[monostich]

Okay. I'll take your word for it.

I... Think I understand what you mean. His differences from you are what make him important for you and good for you?

[emet_sulk]

Something of that nature, yes.

You speak as though you are unfamiliar with relationships.

[monostich]

Well, I didn't get to have many. Being around all of these people who will actually talk to me is... New.

[emet_sulk]

You were isolated?

[ He feels a small pang of pity for them. ]

[monostich]

I don't know that I would say that... It's complicated. The researchers didn't view us as things capable of proper communication, so they avoided speaking to us.

[And most everyone else avoided him and the few others who had been around as long as he had...

He also knows it's only half the story, but... It still feels like too much to share, somehow, but he doesn't know how else to explain why he knows so little.]

[emet_sulk]

More fool them, then. You are clearly capable of speech. Even animals have their own ways of communicating with one another, though it be not in a language man understands.

[monostich]

When you put it that way, it does seem really foolish... But it's fine! There's people here who talk, so I'll get used to people.

[emet_sulk]

Well... I do have a number of my own concerns to manage but if you have questions in future then I suppose I would not mind answering them.