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Aurora and Zuko are no longer here in Avalon.

[Gokudera will not be attending his classes, showing up to work, or training at the dojo for several days. He just lost his boyfriend and girlfriend and he’s tired from fighting wraiths. Mostly, he’s just being an angsty teenager.

Feel free to blow up his IC inbox. Messages on this post will likely get delayed responses.]

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(Continued from here!)

Hijikata wishes he knew what could make it easier. In his experience one simply has to push through, keep busy, apply oneself, take one day after the next.]

You got two royals to fall for you? You've got to have something about you that's irresistible to them.

[He's teasing him, trying to lighten the mood, but he follows it up with something more sincere.]

Don't say you didn't belong with them. They chose you, didn't they?

[Gokudera’s ears turn a bit pink as he thinks of how lucky he was. He’ll never be that lucky ever again, probably. He has no idea why either of them liked him. Well… he knew better Zuko’s reasoning than Aurora’s. They had a couple arguments and conversations, and neither of them got much of a confession out.

He nods gently, but frowns. Whatever it was they saw… he wonders what it was.]

No idea why! Nearly every single friend of Zuko’s hates me. Said I was just gonna hurt him again, and honestly, they’d have been better together and it’s not like any of it even matters!

[It doesn’t.

No matter what he feels, nothing is going to bring them back. He won’t get any do-overs, any chances to tell either of them how lucky he felt.

His hand go to his eyes, and he presses the heels in so he sees stars, then takes a deep rattled breath, cigarette still perched between his lips.]

…

I’ve been really lucky.

[Hijikata remembers that Zuko's friends thought poorly of Gokudera. Well, it really doesn't matter anymore now, does it? He exhales smoke.]

It's hard to understand, isn't it?

[He also never understood why Mitsuba liked him. Such a gentle woman... what did she see in an abrasive, violent man like him?]

I know you didn't hurt Zuko.

[He doesn't know that at all, but he believes it. Gokudera is an earnest boy. Hijikata saw how happy and excited he was to enjoy a night out with his partners. Whatever reservations the others had about him, he's convinced that they were based on prejudices.]

[He sighs and slumps forward even more.]

I did. Before… the collar, and my time in those other worlds. He knew too much about the Tenth and the family, and my powers. I definitely overreacted and tried to kill him. So…

[A drag off the smoke and he relaxes a little more. What can he do to change what happened? Nothing.]

Yeah. I did. I mean, I wouldn’t try to hurt him unless I have good reason, but… I’m not the only person he left behind.

[He’d reach out to Hikaru, but…]

[Well, that's a surprise. Hijikata had no idea that Gokudera and Zuko were together on another world before Avalon! He simply assumed that Zuko's friends were worried because he'd been hurt by some other partner before.]

So the two of you go way back to multiple worlds ago? And all his friends were on that world with you too? Regardless, going from "I tried to kill him" to "He's my boyfriend now" is one hell of a development. 'Enemies to Lovers' rarely ever happens in real life!

[~~What is he calling "real life"...~~]

Whom else did he leave behind here, another boyfriend or girlfriend?

[He thought it was just a tricycle! Are there side branches?]

Huh? I never knew Zuko before coming to this world.

[Gokudera shakes his head.]

He knew another version of me, is all. Just assumed I could carry on where that other Gokudera left off.

Hm? Aurora vanished while she was sleeping the night with me. Then, when I told Zuko and didn’t get an answer… I guess I shouldn’t have been so surprised.

[So Zuko left his boyfriend behind after Aurora left them both. That implies too much that they hold some responsibility in their leaving. He knows he shouldn’t be upset at either of them. Not like anything will change much…]

Guess I’ll be better off single…

[He still has his boss, which is amazing. It’s honestly unreal to have so much support and he doesn’t mean to seem ungrateful.]

Unless any of them come back.

[Oh... oh. So it's like that. God, the multiverse is a complicated web of worlds and timelines. He exhales smoke as he thinks about it.]

...

Well, even if Zuko saw the other timeline's Gokudera in you at first, you guys still hit off as yourselves in the end, right? As for staying single, just do what feels right. If this is it, then go for it, but don't stand in your own way.

[He knows that Gokudera probably can't imagine falling in love again right now, but he's saying this preemptively, just in case. Then again Gokudera's been through so many losses, he probably doesn't need advice on the matter, all the less from a man who's still yearning for the love interests he left behind on the last world.]

Yeah. He made it a point that he wasn’t expecting the same thing. That other Gokudera hurt him pretty badly, so honestly… I just think he’s a very forgiving person.

[And they’ve have plenty of arguments even before they ‘hit it off’, and some during! Gokudera feels a pang in his chest as he thinks about their last disagreement, and how actively Zuko worked to make him feel better.]

Mmmh… Right… pretty good at doing that.

[His entire life has been an uphill fight. He’s had to work unbelievably hard at everything he’s good at. The only times he’s had great success was when he wasn’t trying to fit a role, and was able to be creative and self-expressive. He… really ought to think more positive and dragging himself down.]

Thanks…

[For listening to him, talking to him… Even trying to give him some kind of advice. The offer is nice, and that reminds him he isn’t alone. This is not so easy to deal with.

But he isn’t alone.]

[Hijikata puts a hand on Gokudera's shoulder and gives it a squeeze. He wants to support him, even if he often doesn't think he finds the right words.]

Remember, they're all still out there, everyone we ever cared about. Even the ones who died. And Aurora and Zuko will be okay, and if they ever meet you again, then I hope they'll remember you.

[He feels like his time on Avalon, especially since he got his death magic, gave him a sense of tranquility. Nobody gets lost forever in the multiverse. Somewhere, maybe even in several places and several times, everybody still exists, or at least their echoes.]

[Gokudera leans into the weight of that hand squeezing supportively on his shoulder. There aren’t words necessary that help the same way Hijikata’s company does.]

You’re right…

[They are still out there the same way he is out here. Now he can go back to focusing on work, getting stronger to protect his boss.]

[Hijikata has exhausted his capacities for uplifting words - already he's second-guessing if what he said didn't sound too cliché or idealistic, but then he really does believe it. After all he was reunited with the deceased Mitsuba on Prismatica, and when he re-met Riou here on Avalon the survivalist's memories of him returned after a while, as if the timelines needed a little to align. So why should the same not be possible for anyone else too?

He stubs out his cigarette butt and turns to head back into the library building.]

Let's see if we can still get some studying done. Or poetry.

[If doesn't really matter if they do or don't, as long as Gokudera feels a little less bad... and Hijikata thinks he does.]

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Text; un: Smoking Bomb

Continued from above!

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