video; un: shepherdess

[troubadamsel]

[ The screen shows a refined, elegant young lady having tea. She takes one sip before smiling pleasantly. ]

Greetings, one and all. For those who I've yet to meet, my name is Maribelle. A pleasure, I'm sure. I promise not to take up too much of your time today - rather, I have a small, fun little "quest" of my own to offer everyone.

[ Her manner and voice sound as calm as a gentle breeze... but the look in her eyes is bone-chillingly cold. The snow outside has nothing on them. ]

There is a man here called Toshirou Hijikata. If you don't know the name, he's a human with short black hair and typically wears a commander's uniform. What I would like is a photo of him... wearing a humiliating outfit. I want his soul being destroyed in the expression. I want every single last trace of dignity he has left utterly vanquished. And I'm willing to pay extra for every additional photo taken. I'll start with one hundred G, but I'm also open to negotiation.

[ She then moves the phone, to show various magical items on the table - Magic Mask, Enchanted Pink Calcite, and Mirror Mirror. ]

If a monetary factor isn't in your interest, I'd be willing to be part with any of these.

[ Another silent sip of tea. Her smile never vanishes. ]

Now, before I send you on your merry way, no doubt someone is going to ask me why I'm requesting this, so I may as well get it over with. Last month, some of us wound up unwillingly switching bodies. Hijikata and I were such victims. While I was in his body, I remained inside and inconspicuous, so as to not damage his reputation or allow any misunderstandings to follow him once we retuned to normal.

As for him?

He decided to parade my body in a revealing outfit in a shady nightclub while plunging items into my bosom.

[ SSSSSIIIIIIIIIIP. ]

Happy hunting.

Comments

Video | UN: hijikata

[mayoninofukucho]

[Okay, so the bad news is that Maribelle is seriously out for revenge... but the good news is that nobody taught her how to filter AOL posts. So at least now he's warned, and he has a chance to publicly set the record straight!! He calls in without preamble.]

I didn't "parade" your body at the night club, I was on an undercover investigation! I couldn't let the criminals do as they please just because we were body-swapped! Also I didn't plunge anything into your bosom, I just hid a self-defence item in the only place I had!

[Is he making things better or worse for himself here...]

[troubadamsel]

[ Maribelle's smile only gets thinner and more pleasant. ]

Well. Well. Well.

Good day to you. Hi. Ji. Ka. Ta.

[mayoninofukucho]

Look, I know things didn't go well, but you shouldn't make me out to be some reckless pervert..!!

[Oh dear. That expression doesn't bode well.]

[troubadamsel]

Oh, goodness. Is that how describing exactly what you did to me sounded?

[mayoninofukucho]

The way you said it made it sound like I went "Oh yeah, I'll go party hard and show off Maribelle's body" when in reality it was more like "I've got one chance to catch the guy who planned a mass murder, and he'll only meet with me if I dress up as a staff member"!!

[By now the madman who wanted to torch every single person in the club - well, let the sun torch them post-potioning, rather - has more than enough publicly available information to know that the real Maribelle was never in contact with them... good for her, less good for Hijikata.]

[troubadamsel]

And yet not once was I informed of this beforehand. Despite you having my contact information. Despite you knowing where I was.

How. Interesting.

[mayoninofukucho]

If I'd told you you'd have said no!! So I just went ahead with it, because if the goddamn hex would've lasted long enough you'd never have found out about it, and then you wouldn't have had to throw a fuss!

[Yep. He really isn't helping his case.]

No one you know would even have noticed you were at the club! Or are you friends with anyone who'd hang out in such a place?

[troubadamsel]

[ To quote the Simpsons... "No, no, dig UP, stupid!" ]

Oh ho ho. So you're trying to blame me for this state of affairs.

[ The tea cup she's holding? It's shaking a bit. Due to rage. ]

In other words, you don't want my forgiveness. Ever. I understand completely.

[mayoninofukucho]

I don't need your forgiveness!! The audacity of thinking your precious reputation is more important than keeping this city safe!! You nobles are so self-centered!

[He hangs up, regretting that this isn't an old-fashioned phone with a separate speaker he can slam down. Maribelle will be even more angry than she already was for not being given a chance to respond, but things would only escalate further, and he said what he needed to say!!

Is he going to stick to his opinion? Or will he feel bad later? Or is he going to learn the hard way that both things can be important? Stay tuned...]

text; un: maou

[owarifool]

funny, "reckless pervert" is how id describe the hijikata i'm familiar with.

u protest too much, dude. could use some "courage" to really peel away those airs ur puttin on.

[mayoninofukucho]

[Hijikata is in full online fight mode, to the point where he simply video-calls Kipposhi too. Of course he can decline and stick to texting, but Hijikata doesn't have the patience to type when he can yell instead!]

I could use some courage?! What airs am I putting on?! You're just talking out of your ass!! Also don't talk shit about the other Hijikata; he's none of that!

[Defensive much?! He doesn't even know the other Hijikata!]

[owarifool]

ye?

i bet u know the name of every single girl that works in the red light district where u come from.

[mayoninofukucho]

[You'd think that reading that would either piss him off further or get him flustered, but... none of that happens. Instead he calms down.]

No, I don't.

[Somehow he, unlike most Hijikatas out there, has absolutely no luck with the women. Sure, when they see him for the first time hostesses and courtesans often try to approach him, but as soon as they ease into things with a meal and he drowns it all in mayonnaise they usually quickly excuse themselves.]

[owarifool]

oh man thats worse. ice cold.

[mayoninofukucho]

Hah?! How is that bad? I have better things to do than waste my time in the red light district!

[owarifool]

nah u just bring the hotties to u and then never bother to ask their name.

gotta say, i kinda respect that approach

[mayoninofukucho]

[What is he reading..?! Somehow they totally got their wires crossed! The right thing now would be to clarify the misunderstanding and also tell this brat to not respect behaviour like that, the easy thing would be to just roll with it...]

You're totally jumping to conclusions here. I don't know their names because I don't meet with them.

[Like hell is he going to take the easy way out on a post that's already calling him out for disrespecting women!!]

Video / un; Chasseur

[resistetmords]

Oh I've heard allll about it during the party.

Are you ready for your punishment? ♡

[mayoninofukucho]

The party?! What party?

[Shit, just how many venues did Maribelle spread her story in?! This is a total PR nightmare for the Yuureisengumi, not to mention his personal reputation... he wouldn't care as much about the latter, but given his knight status it might even fall back on the king! At least Belgium seems to be taking it light-heartedly... or is that only his hope speaking?]

[resistetmords]

The fairy queen's sleepover party a little bit ago? I didn't stay for the whole thing. Just long enough to catch up with her.

[Have fun, Hijikata~. Not all plans include solely having him drink something or getting hexed! At least she seemed to be the least violent of them?

That's a lie, she just likes him but still thinks he needs pun.ish.ment. ♥]

You should know there are some things that shouldn't be done to a woman's body without her permission~.

[mayoninofukucho]

[Of course, that party. Just the biggest party of the new year so far. Figures!! His mind conjures up an image of Maribelle dressed in a ballgown, surrounded by a drove of other fancy people listening to her tale of how some dirty, dastardly countryside samurai maliciously tarnished her reputation... this is why he always wanted to avoid getting into politics!!]

België, you don't take that at face value, do you? I'm your fellow knight! Do you really think I would do something like that on purpose?

[He hasn't caught up on the ongoing threads yet, but seeing the conversation between her and Maribelle will downright activate his flight mode.]

[resistetmords]

Yep, and because you're a fellow knight that's all the more reason for you to accept your fate!

[Smiling oh-so sweetly~!]

I dont think anyone was actually forcing you, after all. And there really are somethings that you should ask about doing first, instead of just doing, or trying to talk someone into.

[mayoninofukucho]

No one was forcing me, no, but it was a matter of life or death!! Why does nobody understand that?!

[That's not strictly speaking true. He had already handed the dangerous potion over to the police by the time he went to the club, intending to identify and detain the person responsible in addition to jinxing the quest. (And for all his efforts, who knows what happened in other people's time loops...) Belgium is right; he should have told Maribelle about his plan. But right now he's too stressed and aggravated to listen to her, and too angry to even consider agreeing to the punishment.]

[resistetmords]

Was it though? You should have at least gave her an apology later... or really more than just an apology. Like way more than just an apology. As far as everybody's aware you took over a girl's body, did things to it without her permission, and seem to be acting like she should be fine with it.

[She sighs and shakes her head. Knowing him he probably jumped the gun. The following reactions to the whole thing at least seemed to have got his attention.]

Either way you should have still told her what you were going to do. That's a very real betrayal of trust and invasion of a person's privacy. Not to mention putting them in danger and potentially ruining their own image, you know?

[Really... really understating that here. But she keeps smiling away~!]

So... bow and take whatever comes your way and I'll... give you a beer afterwards.

[mayoninofukucho]

She didn't give me a chance to apologise to her!! She immediately went full banshee on my ass!

[As if he wouldn't have gone ballistic too in the same situation...]

Would everyone also be freaking out if I'd put her in a factory overall?! It's not my fault that this goddamn assassination was supposed to happen at a night club!! And it wasn't dangerous; I knew what I was doing!

[And what if he'd been confronting the quest-giver alone in some backroom when they got body-swapped back? What then, Hijikata?]

You can keep your beer!!

[Belgium is being so patient, and this is how he reacts... he'll probably feel bad about it later when he's cooled down.]