video; un: shepherdess

[troubadamsel]

[ The screen shows a refined, elegant young lady having tea. She takes one sip before smiling pleasantly. ]

Greetings, one and all. For those who I've yet to meet, my name is Maribelle. A pleasure, I'm sure. I promise not to take up too much of your time today - rather, I have a small, fun little "quest" of my own to offer everyone.

[ Her manner and voice sound as calm as a gentle breeze... but the look in her eyes is bone-chillingly cold. The snow outside has nothing on them. ]

There is a man here called Toshirou Hijikata. If you don't know the name, he's a human with short black hair and typically wears a commander's uniform. What I would like is a photo of him... wearing a humiliating outfit. I want his soul being destroyed in the expression. I want every single last trace of dignity he has left utterly vanquished. And I'm willing to pay extra for every additional photo taken. I'll start with one hundred G, but I'm also open to negotiation.

[ She then moves the phone, to show various magical items on the table - Magic Mask, Enchanted Pink Calcite, and Mirror Mirror. ]

If a monetary factor isn't in your interest, I'd be willing to be part with any of these.

[ Another silent sip of tea. Her smile never vanishes. ]

Now, before I send you on your merry way, no doubt someone is going to ask me why I'm requesting this, so I may as well get it over with. Last month, some of us wound up unwillingly switching bodies. Hijikata and I were such victims. While I was in his body, I remained inside and inconspicuous, so as to not damage his reputation or allow any misunderstandings to follow him once we retuned to normal.

As for him?

He decided to parade my body in a revealing outfit in a shady nightclub while plunging items into my bosom.

[ SSSSSIIIIIIIIIIP. ]

Happy hunting.

Comments

[mayoninofukucho]

Look, I know things didn't go well, but you shouldn't make me out to be some reckless pervert..!!

[Oh dear. That expression doesn't bode well.]

[troubadamsel]

Oh, goodness. Is that how describing exactly what you did to me sounded?

[mayoninofukucho]

The way you said it made it sound like I went "Oh yeah, I'll go party hard and show off Maribelle's body" when in reality it was more like "I've got one chance to catch the guy who planned a mass murder, and he'll only meet with me if I dress up as a staff member"!!

[By now the madman who wanted to torch every single person in the club - well, let the sun torch them post-potioning, rather - has more than enough publicly available information to know that the real Maribelle was never in contact with them... good for her, less good for Hijikata.]

[troubadamsel]

And yet not once was I informed of this beforehand. Despite you having my contact information. Despite you knowing where I was.

How. Interesting.

[mayoninofukucho]

If I'd told you you'd have said no!! So I just went ahead with it, because if the goddamn hex would've lasted long enough you'd never have found out about it, and then you wouldn't have had to throw a fuss!

[Yep. He really isn't helping his case.]

No one you know would even have noticed you were at the club! Or are you friends with anyone who'd hang out in such a place?

[troubadamsel]

[ To quote the Simpsons... "No, no, dig UP, stupid!" ]

Oh ho ho. So you're trying to blame me for this state of affairs.

[ The tea cup she's holding? It's shaking a bit. Due to rage. ]

In other words, you don't want my forgiveness. Ever. I understand completely.

[mayoninofukucho]

I don't need your forgiveness!! The audacity of thinking your precious reputation is more important than keeping this city safe!! You nobles are so self-centered!

[He hangs up, regretting that this isn't an old-fashioned phone with a separate speaker he can slam down. Maribelle will be even more angry than she already was for not being given a chance to respond, but things would only escalate further, and he said what he needed to say!!

Is he going to stick to his opinion? Or will he feel bad later? Or is he going to learn the hard way that both things can be important? Stay tuned...]

text; un: maou

[owarifool]

funny, "reckless pervert" is how id describe the hijikata i'm familiar with.

u protest too much, dude. could use some "courage" to really peel away those airs ur puttin on.

[mayoninofukucho]

[Hijikata is in full online fight mode, to the point where he simply video-calls Kipposhi too. Of course he can decline and stick to texting, but Hijikata doesn't have the patience to type when he can yell instead!]

I could use some courage?! What airs am I putting on?! You're just talking out of your ass!! Also don't talk shit about the other Hijikata; he's none of that!

[Defensive much?! He doesn't even know the other Hijikata!]

[owarifool]

ye?

i bet u know the name of every single girl that works in the red light district where u come from.

[mayoninofukucho]

[You'd think that reading that would either piss him off further or get him flustered, but... none of that happens. Instead he calms down.]

No, I don't.

[Somehow he, unlike most Hijikatas out there, has absolutely no luck with the women. Sure, when they see him for the first time hostesses and courtesans often try to approach him, but as soon as they ease into things with a meal and he drowns it all in mayonnaise they usually quickly excuse themselves.]

[owarifool]

oh man thats worse. ice cold.

[mayoninofukucho]

Hah?! How is that bad? I have better things to do than waste my time in the red light district!

[owarifool]

nah u just bring the hotties to u and then never bother to ask their name.

gotta say, i kinda respect that approach

[mayoninofukucho]

[What is he reading..?! Somehow they totally got their wires crossed! The right thing now would be to clarify the misunderstanding and also tell this brat to not respect behaviour like that, the easy thing would be to just roll with it...]

You're totally jumping to conclusions here. I don't know their names because I don't meet with them.

[Like hell is he going to take the easy way out on a post that's already calling him out for disrespecting women!!]

[owarifool]

cmon heej, u expect me to buy that? we're both dudes here, u can admit it.

[mayoninofukucho]

[This is a bad development..!]

Not all men are the same! Anyway, this is off topic!

[DAMAGE CONTROL.]

[owarifool]

on the contrary, i think it's extremely relevant.

the name "hijikata" comes with a reputation, after all. why wouldn't a guy like the wolf of mibu take advantage of being in a woman's body?

[mayoninofukucho]

Look, I don't know what the Hijikata in your world has done, if it's not just shitty rumours, but that has nothing to do with me!!

[Other Hijikata, what did you dooo?! Why is that reputation falling back on him?!]

[owarifool]

considering the nature of the accusation, i think it's extremely relevant.

[mayoninofukucho]

I already explained what really happened!! If you don't believe it I can't help you!

[Sadly that goes for everybody else too, so he wouldn't be surprised if women gave him a wide berth from here on out... not that he cares!!]

[owarifool]

how about this; i propose a test to prove ur innocence

[mayoninofukucho]

I don't need to prove my innocence!! If you really think I did it with ulterior motives, then so be it!

[owarifool]

then are u willing to accept ur punishment?

[mayoninofukucho]

Bring it.

[He hangs up the one-sided call (which of course doesn't mean that Kipposhi can't still write to him). He'll be watching out!! To be fair, there are many ways to conduct an ambush or a stealth attack here on Avalon, what with the different magic types in play, but he'll do his damn best to avoid being humiliated for a snooty noblewoman's satisfaction!]