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text; un: thanatos

This may seem a strange question to some.

[But Thanatos does not often indulge his curiosity, so he is doing so right now.]

I have been wondering if there are any others here like myself, who had an existence dedicated only to a single purpose from the moment it began. Before arriving in Avalon I had barely considered the possibility of deviating from mine.

Very suddenly having a great deal of free time was new, unexpected, and a struggle to become accustomed to.

I suspect, given the number here from other worlds, that it isn't only myself and my brother who led such lives before. I would like to hear from others, and hear how they have dealt with the adjustment.

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Before I got to Centaurworld, my only purpose was war. And when I got to Centaurworld, my only purpose was to find Rider.

Now I've got more time then I know what to do with, but I'd like to get back to my Rider again.

I've been continuing my training here. I'm not about to let this place distract me from my goals.

It's not like there's anything else to do.

I know you were, and are, very dedicated to your work, brother. It's been an adjustment even for me, but I suspect differently from you.

I've found... that I keep doing things I enjoy. Make my life about those things and people I enjoy. I think it's helped a lot.

You're a lot more than your work, even when we were home. At least to me, Thanatos.

( she can't say life was quite that dramatically focused on one purpose. if things hadn't gone to hell in a handbasket, her life might have never even skated close to where it is today.

but it doesn't mean she doesn't relate. a little bit, at least. )

free time's shit.

( you know how you always want a holiday and then half a week into the one you get, you're itching to be back at a routine? )

found more work to do. started a business.

( though... Thanatos' job probably isn't the kind of thing he can resume here, huh? )

Once you decide to disregard the standard of your peers, it is quite simple to continue. I grew bored.

Having more time than you know what to do with is something I can fully understand. What do you find yourself filling your time with here?

While maintaining your goals is admirable in its own way, I was not speaking of goals.

My purpose was not a goal, it was the only reason I existed at all.

I know, Hypnos.

Though I think that some of what you wanted me to be may have been wishful thinking on your part.

It's good to know that you have found something to be able to focus your considerable will into, Kate.

I expect that your previous skills are far more easily transferrable than mine, however.

The standards of my peers don't matter and have always been entirely irrelevant.

As for boredom, yes, understandable. But after that?

I left the skies to wander the Mortal and Divine Realms, naturally. The other may be content to remain where they are, but it is only through new experiences that we learn.

Maybe it was. Maybe part of me knew you would, in time, come around.

Or maybe I just saw something you didn't. A twin superpower or something.

[ Normally, she would pass over things she'd deem to have a more emotional response. Her situation the complicated one that it was — Seen fit to be the research notes of her father to pass on one day. And when she did, that going so horrificially wrong, knowing that she'd have to spend each day to make up for it.

She can't quite say her whole life, from the moment she was born, she was dedicated to it — It was hard to say, with her father's spiral into madness. But certainly, the rest, she knew as her reason for acting (the reason she was alive, in some respects).

Being stripped of the purpose and people she had to protect to achieve it hasn't been an easy one. She's felt lost and like she hasn't done enough most days, but still she responds (a much shorter line than her thoughts give credit for):]

I can't say I've adjusted. Even so, allowing myself to falter for even a second would be in poor form. I live each day the best I can, doing what preparations I can in hopes I'll return to that goal one day.

( considerable will, huh? that's... kinda flattering. )

maybe.

( she certainly hadn't thought it was possible, that people would want the space she ended up creating, or anything else. back home, it felt like it was always going to be combat, but now...

now it doesn't have to be. )

it's something i hadn't done before. doesn't have to be a business. you could just try shit and see what sticks.

[Though he can't say it has been so from birth, Walter finds that the notion of a singular purpose resonates with him.]

I can't say I've deviated much at all.

I don't know about that.

But if you're content with me as I am now, then I can be happy with that.

Ah, then your role was already long abandoned before you came here.

What preparations can you make here for a purpose that didn't follow along with you?

I almost admire the tenacity and adaptability of mortals. You find it so easy to jump from one focus to the next.

Do you think it would be so easy if you had been doing the same thing for thousands of your years?

Millenia before I came here, yes. I return on occassion. The stars are well enough without me, for the most part.

one of my friends back home talks about existing just to serve lightners or whatever and that he like
waited his entire life to meet heroes of light

isnt that boring, just being stuck to one purpose like that? now you have your own time you can goof off and do whatever the hell you want. just have fun dude

[People rarely quite understand. He's used to that.]

I wasn't created to have fun. My physical form was drawn forth to fulfil one purpose, and if I do not fulfil it then no one else can.

While I have been given no choice here but to find other things to do with my time, I did wonder if I might find anyone else who had been quite as fixed in their path as I have always been.

and? did you find anyone yet

Not as of yet.
My twin brother is also in Avalon and he has a good deal of understanding about it.

But thousands of mortal years spent on only one reason to exist is not something I find many can fully comprehend.

no idea how old my friend is come to think of it... weird

anyway i was kinda the opposite until i met him, so yeah, i dont really get where youre coming from. didnt have a purpose at all and i just kinda screwed around.
but then i got to do something important and help people, so that was cool
i kinda figure i can do the same thing here.

can't you do stuff here that was like whatever you did back home too?

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