text; un: thanatos

[inevitablerest]

This may seem a strange question to some.

[But Thanatos does not often indulge his curiosity, so he is doing so right now.]

I have been wondering if there are any others here like myself, who had an existence dedicated only to a single purpose from the moment it began. Before arriving in Avalon I had barely considered the possibility of deviating from mine.

Very suddenly having a great deal of free time was new, unexpected, and a struggle to become accustomed to.

I suspect, given the number here from other worlds, that it isn't only myself and my brother who led such lives before. I would like to hear from others, and hear how they have dealt with the adjustment.

Comments

[inevitablerest]

It's good to know that you have found something to be able to focus your considerable will into, Kate.

I expect that your previous skills are far more easily transferrable than mine, however.

[morns]

( considerable will, huh? that's... kinda flattering. )

maybe.

( she certainly hadn't thought it was possible, that people would want the space she ended up creating, or anything else. back home, it felt like it was always going to be combat, but now...

now it doesn't have to be. )

it's something i hadn't done before. doesn't have to be a business. you could just try shit and see what sticks.

[inevitablerest]

I almost admire the tenacity and adaptability of mortals. You find it so easy to jump from one focus to the next.

Do you think it would be so easy if you had been doing the same thing for thousands of your years?

[morns]

didn't say it was easy.

( anything but. if it was easy, she would have done it before Avalon. only the utter lack of any other responsibility and the relative eagerness of Avalon to allow people to make businesses allowed this to happen.

well, that and some prodding from others. )

can't imagine what that's like.

( it's bizarre, not simply because it's impossible back home, but simply because she's never even considered the idea of getting old as a mortal. it seems foolish to join the military and not expect the likelihood of dying young. )

but we're stuck here. gotta fill the hours somehow.
what you been doing so far?

[inevitablerest]

Indulging my creativity.

[A thing he didn't even know he had, but it turns out that he does actually have an imagination.]

And spending time with my brother, which I'm sure he enjoys a great deal.

[morns]

( that's...

she's jealous, okay? she can admit it to herself. the same way she's jealous of hearing about Rei's teammates or seeing people, hearing people talk about friends from home they're spending time with. jealous of... whatever Izo and Ryouma have going on. not the romantic tension but the having someone from home thing. someone you've known for all your life, shit like that. )

both sound like good ways to spend your time.

especially the family shit. that's important.

( Avalon dragged her away from her promised family time, okay? )

[inevitablerest]

I will admit I have not valued Hypnos as much as perhaps I should have throughout our existence. My family is very large - dozens of brothers and sisters brought forth by Nyx - but Hypnos is my twin.

I suppose you might say he understands me better than anyone else. I have not been fair to him.

> private

[morns]

then do that.

( yeah, she's making this private because she enjoys talking to Thanatos, because Avalon is making her annoyingly soft, and because this hits close to home. )

sucks to miss out on time with your family. especially as a mortal.

( sure, it can be for good reasons, but still... )

[inevitablerest]

[Thanatos considers what she wrote for a minute before he replies to her. Experience of family as a god is entirely different to what a mortal might know in their comparatively short life, but one does not serve as the god of death without seeing how death affects those who love the ones it touches.]

You miss someone.

[morns]

something like that

( she pauses, deletes, tries again. tries to be more honest about it; )

my brother.

[inevitablerest]

Is he waiting for you?

[Kate, he thinks, will not have forgotten who she happens to be talking to. He's delicate about the question.]

[morns]

( she has not, so— )

not like that.

( she doesn't even believe it's possible back home. back home is just... once you're dead, you're dead. )

work keeps me away.

( and she's very aware that time ticks away for them both. )

[inevitablerest]

That is something I can understand all too well.

[morns]

( and, again, because she knows who she's talking to, it's not difficult to imagine that he does, indeed, get where she's coming from.

death must be busy, right? )

then take advantage of this place.

[inevitablerest]

I will.

[Good advice.]

And perhaps I will be able to take the lessons learned back home with me.

[morns]

who knows?

( it's gonna be weird if they go back home with all this knowledge, but at least for Thanatos, maybe it'll be good. )