new year, same old same old. video un: firstfallen

[corruptedsave]

[It's the local red-eyed kid again! Looking bored as heck inside their inn room.]

You know, I have a question. Mostly for you adults around here.

[Maybe it's something deep they have to ask of the network...]

You guys do know that like, there are kids here, so why post about adult things on this?

[Or not.]

Comments

[owarifool]

[ And now Chara gets to witness a good chunk of his persona just instantly erode. ]

okay. i can see ur point, and like. i get it.

but even a kid should be able to take some responsibility too, right? they have tools at their disposal to avoid stuff they dont like, is the point i'm trying to make.

i was being mean about that point, though. im sorry.

[peninhand]

How are children supposed to learn they have to take responsibility, when their only examples in life are adults deflecting responsibility on others?

[locked] PS: I'm over it you know. I just wish you would have at least learned something from it. Some bitter pills are easier to swallow when something positive comes from them.

[owarifool]

but on the other hand, you can't just expect the world the change for you, you have to make those changes yourself. nothing happens without your own actions, relying on others just leads to stagnation.

[ and later, also locked. ]

look, i'm happy to hear that, but what happened then, and what's happening now, are two different things. yeah, i was being a jerk to the kid, you're right, but that isn't the same as betraying someone's trust. don't you think you're overreacting a little?

[locked]

[peninhand]

You're admitting you were being a jerk to a kid. Why can't you continue with "I'll try to do better" rather than come up with further excuses?

Do you know how absolutely dreadful those past three months have been for me? The last thing I wanted was to hear of you, but now that I can think more clearly about it— The fact you did nothing to try and help me speak mountains.

Yes, those situations are nothing alike. Yet the root for both situations is in your inability to be responsible in any capacity. You are a general supposed to be on par with the likes of Napoleon, Sun Tzu and Caesar yet I keep seeing an immature child.

Re: [locked]

[owarifool]

[ oof. lotsa oof. ]

i convinced myself not to help you because i thought you'd only hurt worse if any of it came from me.

im sorry.

[peninhand]

[ The reply comes much later. ]

If that's the real reason, then you don't need to apologize. It's better than what I'd imagined.

[owarifool]

[ ... ]

truth is, ive thought a lot about you. about what happened. about why any of it happened.

part of me being so self destructive late last year was part of that. just trapped in a bubble of "why am i like this?" and not liking what i could come up with.

knowing you're doing better does mean a lot. even more so knowing it had nothing to do with me. not because it gets me off the hook, but knowing i didnt make things worse.

[peninhand]

I still don't understand. You knew my story, what it meant for me. I have thought about it more than I should have, too. And I reached two possible answers. Either you did it out of malevolence, either you did it out of. Well. "Stupidity."

But I also know I'm in part to blame. I was too desperate and blinded by it. I like to believe I'm improving on my issues. So... Why can't you? What you said to that child, it's not comparable. But that'd be a start, wouldn't it?

Still... I once considered you a friend and I don't want harm to come to you, you know? So I hope you'll get past that self-destructive phase.

[owarifool]

its

[ ... ]


its more complicated than that. but dont worry about me. my Master would be really upset if i pulled anything like that again, so

[peninhand]

I am not real. My creator never intended for me to have any kind of future. Yet I strive to change. To write the happy ending I wasn't meant to know.

If I can better myself... There are no reasons you can't. There are no excuses for you not to try.

[owarifool]

i said its more complicated than that!

[ He can feel it, the foot in mouth moment coming. ]

can we talk about this somewhere else?

[peninhand]

[ Delayed reply again. More complicated than being a human AI trapped in a simulated reality... Nope, not buying it. She's short-sighted, maybe. ]

Yeah, sure. I guess that's not the sort of stuff that translates well over network.

[ Not to mention it's cluttering poor Chara's post. ]