avalononline | Video; un: akashicknight

The name's Morgan, and something on that anon post caught my eye. A question about staying here, rather than going home. If it's possible. If it's okay.

I don't know about Avalon. It's possible when all this ends, Avalon won't exist any more, because its purpose was served. But I can say this: if anyone doesn't want to go home, I will find a place for you. No one should have to go back to a world where they'll be mistreated, or miserable, or end up dying in days, or whatever your circumstance that means you're happier being here than there.

I live on a nexus world, a place where a lot of worlds and universes overlap and connect. Sort of like Avalon itself. It's not a paradise, it's far from perfect, but it's somewhere you can go if you want. I'll find a way to make that happen for damn sure. A ritual performed here, I hope, at the end of the last day. And if that doesn't work... I have some friends and family to whom nothing is a barrier that can't be overcome, and we will find a way to get you away. There or elsewhere.

It isn't fair that anyone should be drawn here to save everything, then sent back home without a second thought to what might happen. And if your response to that is, 'well, life's not fair', I'll make it fair.

Don't be afraid to relax, to hope, to enjoy yourself here. Life's too short for that. But... I'll also take any help anyone's offering to make this vow of mine come true.

[Morgan chuckles a little awkwardly, before shrugging and ending the message.]

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If you end up wearing yourself out I will curse the words 'I told you so' to appear on your forehead you know.

[Not helping, Caster!]

...I still don't know what will happen, at the end of all of this. Or what I should do if we ever find ourselves able to leave this place.

Point is, you don't have to go back. Besides, I already made you an even more specific promise, didn't I?

[Don't worry. She'll never see Morgan wear himself out.]

[He's really good at faking it, after all.]

I know. I know that.

[A small, frustrated sigh. She was worried about him, and worried about her own life, and worried about her fate back home, and...

But she didn't know how to express it.]

It'll be all right.

I'll make it all right, and I won't do it alone. Not so long as I have friends like you to support and help me.

...I'll support you however I can.

But- I still don't know how to make it right. How we can untangle the mess that is my world and-...

[She trailed off, then. Mentally cursing herself for pushing her problems immediately back his way.]

I don't know either, but I do know that we can figure it out with time and effort. Just because the solution now isn't clear doesn't mean we can't work towards it.

[Morgan likes helping other people with their problems. He wouldn't take them on out of nowhere if he didn't.]

[That was all they could do, wasn't it? Focus on putting one foot in front of the other and try to find out a way to fix this mess as they went along. Medea was quiet for a little while, whilst she mulled over it.]

You're right, I suppose. It isn't as if this world doesn't keep throwing us other things to focus on, regardless.

...But those thoughts- those feelings always come back, when it's quiet.

Well, you don't have an answer yet. And I think that's because you don't know the question. So the question is this: Medea, what do you want?

[Another long pause- there was the immediate, obvious answer, but...what did she want, really?

No. Hoping for something better? For a happy world where she could just live- stop fighting and make a family with people who cared for her? She knew fate would never be so kind.]

...Not something that a being like me can ever hope to attain.

[Morgan shakes his head.]

If you believe that, you'll make it true. You'll cause it to be true. Every time something happens that brings you closer to it, you'll spoil it because you think it's impossible. Every choice you make, you'll sabotage. You don't get what you want that way, Medea. You work for what you want. You fight hard to make it happen.

So what do you want?

You don't think I've already fought with everything I had? That I didn't call on all the dark magics at my disposal to-

[She grew quiet as she felt her voice catching in her throat.]

...I'm tired, Morgan. I want to stop fighting.

Pft. You say that, but be honest. If a friend of yours was in trouble, and you could help fight for them some way, would you really choose not to?

[Now begins a process of question-asking that will, probably, annoy her.]

[Yup, there was an annoyed little scowl.]

...what do you think?

So you don't want to stop fighting, not really. You want to fight for what you choose to fight for, right?

Just because I want to keep them safe, that doesn't mean I take any pleasure in doing what's necessary, Morgan.

You don't take pleasure in helping a friend? 'Fighting' takes many forms. It doesn't necessarily mean actual violence. Sometimes, you fight for a friend's happiness. Sometimes, you fight to keep a friend from going down a path they shouldn't. But in any way, shape, or form, do you really not like fighting for a friend?

Stop putting words in my mouth, you know exactly what I mean.

[Touchy, touchy, Medea.]

...I want the War to stop.

No, Medea, I don't know what you mean, and neither do you. We keep talking surface wants, even this one. I'm trying to drill down to what you want. I don't think you just want to live a normal life, because I think you'd hate not having power. But I think living what's close to a normal life is getting closer, isn't it?

[A pause- trying not to just immediately snap back something in response. She wanted to consider his words, and at least try and give him an answer.]

...I...yes. I don't want to give up my magic. I'd never want that.

But...I want to go home. I want to make a home and look after it, without having to fight to the death to earn that happiness. With- with someone I care for- who cares for me-

It's as I said- I want to live a peaceful life. And I don't want to be alone.

...

Hmph. I told you it wasn't something a wretched witch like me could ever hope to attain, didn't I?

[Morgan thinks about that a moment.]

I don't think you want peaceful so much as you want to fight on your own terms. It's not in your nature to just let things happen you don't like, especially to people you care about.

No, but...I'd rather they were safe and happy without fighting being a necessity to achieve that. I'd call on whatever dark magics I have to...but that is exhausting.

Well, I'm a friend, right? But it's in my nature to go out and get myself into trouble, because of what I believe and what I feel is the right way to act. In a sense, if I didn't get into that sort of difficulty, I wouldn't be me.

So you're a troublemaker, by your own admission.

[It's a little half-hearted given the heavy discussion, but there's a little hint of teasing there]

'Cuz the alternative is letting anyone and everything roll over you. Not my style. Not really yours either. But something important to remember is that you always choose your fights.

Video; un: akashicknight

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