video | un: octavinelle

[dottedline]

[The video doesn't show Azul at all for a minute or two, instead clearly being a pre-recorded tour of a very nice looking restaurant with some royalty free music (Azul absolutely paid someone to film this nonsense).

Eventually the pre-recorded stuff stops and we cut to Azul at a desk in what is likely the office of the restaurant. He's smiling, quite proud.]

You'll have to forgive the amateur intro video, that's never been my forte. Hopefully that won't turn anyone away from coming to visit my establishment once we officially open at the end of this month or early next month. Golden Silence is a fine dining establishment with a focus on atmosphere, live music, and excellent cooking. There is a business casual dress code, though this can change depending on events we're hosting.

[Right. Time to talk about that.]

Such as our first one, to be held the weekend we open! We're all outsiders here and I know it's not always easy making connections in a new world, so to help with that we will be hosting...a speed dating event.

[The silliest idea, and yet here we are.]

Thank you for your time.

[And the video cuts out to another short little thing, advertising the Speed Dating and also that Azul is hiring.]

Comments

[dottedline]

[Smile!]

And why does that matter?

[Or: you're being a rude punkass kid now, and Azul didn't like dealing with rude punkass kids when he was that age, okay.]

[prontissimo]

Because, if you'd "met" a lot of fish, you'd know fish are pretty concerned with what humans eat — y'know, at least just considering the part with the murders and all.

[ Alberto would keep "rude punkass kid" like a feather in his cap, and just the airy-yet-thick tone of his voice and how he waves his hand shows that without even saying it. ]

I mean, not that I care — the fish care. Think about it from their perspective: Randomly kidnapped above the surface~ Trapped~ Swimming around in circles~ Watching humans watching you with their weird human-faces... Then seeing your old buddy Enrico pass by on a plate, like, "hey, haven't seen him for a while, ciao, Enrico, what happened to—...! Oh."

[ The sarcastic theatrics, man... He looks back to the camera with a flat face, serving this tea with a limp wrist. ]

Y'know, not too hard to put together. Even for really dumb fish. If you did kill them and eat them in the end, that's fine. But not killing them and eating them...? Yeesh. I think I'd prefer the murder.

[dottedline]

[Still just as calm as anything, despite the kid's (honestly understandable) rant:]

I'm a merman. So. Let's try that again?

[prontissimo]

Okay? So?

[ Un.Fazed. ]

Wouldn't that make all this kind of, uh— worse?

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No? People need to eat, and since no one is ever going to stop people from eating whatever they want, including fish, then I might as well make sure they're eating good fish.

[A shrug.]

I eat fish. I'm a cecaelia, and two of my friends back home eat octopus because they're eels, and eels eat octopus.

[Please don't ask questions, the Leech twins are terrible people.]

Maybe the fish where you're from are less like every other animal in the world and do have opinions on humans eating fish. Back home, it's like asking a cow what they think about it.

[prontissimo]

Hey, opinions and feelings aren't the same thing — fish aren't that smart! I'm just saying, I still don't get the point. The humans aren't seeing the fish in their "native environment," they're seeing them trapped in some phony aquarium-thing — probably with fish they'd never even met before they all got fishnapped — and it's not even the same kind of fish that are being served as food, right? So it's not like the guests are checking the quality or anything. It's just for— dumb humans to make dumb fish faces at some fish before going to eat some more fish! [ He mimics a gaping, empty-eyed expression, a "fish face" of his own, before his tone sets back in. ] It's just ironic.

[ That's where he's getting lost. He's not understanding the notion of "ambience" at all. Strictly utilitarian approach here. He shakes his head, waving both hands, closing his eyes a second before tying up his rant. ]

Look, I'm not against eating fish, killing fish, being friends with fish... Maaaybe not eating your fish friends, but y'know. È la vita. [ He gives a shrug, leaning back in his seat again, the theatrics seemingly dwindling. ] Just seems like a lot of trouble on everyone's parts for, like, no purpose.

[dottedline]

[It is very, very clear that this kid just doesn't get aesthetic or ambience or anything. Eh, he's young.]

You're assuming that one, the clientele I'm catering to are the kind who'd do that and two, that I'd let them even if they were. It's not a zoo.

[prontissimo]

Oh, that's kind of you.

[ He's... so young, it's true. Though maybe more immature than most kids his age, anyway. He's not had to care about anyone but himself until, like— a month ago. Cut him some slack.

He's ready to move on, though. He doesn't care about these fish that much — just enough to want the last word on the matter. But other things Azul has said are far more interesting, truly. ]

So, you said you're a cecaelia — are you one of the sea people from that weird village here, then? Came up and made the Change and opened your own fancy ristorante on the surface to entertain all the humans?

[ At least he sounds, uh, slightly less derisive than he had? He's also genuinely curious. Inquiring minds want to know. ]

[dottedline]

No, I'm from somewhere else entirely, like you. Though that village does have me curious...

[prontissimo]

Eh, they were jerks. Wouldn't even let us look around. Something about some curse, getting permanently stuck down there, stay a merperson forever, "you-need-to-go-back-now, child"-kinda thing...

[ He rolls his eyes again, looking back to the camera more decisively. ]

You're not missing out.

[dottedline]

Yeah, they didn't seem to believe me when I said that no, this is actually what I look like in the water here. Oh well, sooner or later someone is going to want to go exploring.

[prontissimo]

Ha... Yeahhh, they just kinda— looked at me weird. Which is fine. They looked weird to me, too. But hell if I'm getting trapped down there with them just cuz I got curious. I guess "the curious fish does get caught," as they say, heh~ [ Talk about irony! ] Anyway, I'd much rather explore the town up here! Water's wet wherever you go, haha, right?

[ Something about the airy, forced humor in his voice is a bit odd, beyond the actual words he's saying. What's with this kid? ]

[dottedline]

[Something is absolutely up with this kid.

Azul sort of squints. "Looked at me weird" and "looked weird to me" might imply that this kid, while some sort of merperson, doesn't look like a normal one. Or he's bullshiting. One of the two.]

I guess. It's certainly more lucrative up here.

[prontissimo]

Oh— right. Money.

[ He says it with narrowed eyes and some ruminative disdain, like he's just remembering this concept that leaves a bad taste in his mouth. ]

Do sea monsters use money where you're from? There's money here, right, but there's — no money... It's all in the Everything Machine.

[ The what now ]

[dottedline]

The what now?

[He'll come back to the "sea monster" thing, the "no money" thing is vastly more relevant.]

[prontissimo]

This thing.

[ The camera shakes slightly... He's shaking his phone. ]

[dottedline]

The phone? Are you asking how people can have money but not have physical money?

[prontissimo]

Yes. That. In Italy, we have soldi — little pieces of paper, humans call them Lire... But some weird sky monster seagull-duck-lady told me it's all inside this thing.

[ He shakes the camera again. He's also coming from a poor fishing village in the 1960s, so... even if he weren't a sea monster, he'd still be having trouble with this concept, likely. ]

[dottedline]

[...well, Azul can give this kid this lesson for free. It sounds like he's from tiny out of the way town way under the sea, so.]

A long story very, very short: people have realized it is a lot easier to do business if you don't have to keep bills and coins on you at all time. Most everything nowadays works on a credit system--if you've heard of "IOUs" or "put it on my tab", it's that but on a global scale.

[Phrased like that, this sounds insane.]

Honestly, I just wouldn't worry about it.

[prontissimo]

Right. That was my approach: just don't worry about it. But then that weird sky monster lady made a big fuss about it when I took some stuff — it wasn't even her stuff...! I dunno. All kinda seems annoying.

[ He shrugs, clearly not quite comprehending this still, even with this nice free lesson. Everything should be free, in his eyes. That's how he's always lived. But he's lived alone... stealing things from unsuspecting humans... And that's not how humans do it on their own turf. ]

Barely even made sense in Portorosso. This guy — he was my friend's dad, Massimo — he ran a pescheria and I worked with him for a while, right before I showed up here. So I learned all about money from them. But— even there it was annoying. Now I need even more money here, too... Ugh. It never ends!

[ He's not asking for any. He's just kvetching, clearly. ]

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[He is very clearly just kvetching, and Azul almost feels sorry for him. He's not going to try to explain property laws and theft to this kid, though. He is not paid enough for that.]

You can get paid to go school here, and that should cover most things.

[prontissimo]

Nope.

[ Flat. ]

[dottedline]

[Welp. He can respect that.]

How old are you?

[prontissimo]

Fourteen. Why?

[ He says it with the haughty air that only a fourteen-year-old can say it with... ]

[dottedline]

Because unfortunately you're too young for me to offer you an application.

[Smile!]