video | un: claudiometer

[claudiometer]

[y'all know the scene: room at the inn, so this is probably a noob. And indeed, the redhead dressed like a thrift store fell on her is a new face on the network.]

Hokay, so. I'd like a Word with whoever picks the stuff we get out of that box. A tool belt with no tools, I ask you, who makes a girl rebuild her kit from scratch?

I mean, I'd also like a word with whoever thinks 'dunk everyone in a lake' is a great idea, but I'm sure I'm not the only one there.

Anyway. What do people do for money around here, because I kinda doubt my day job is gonna translate.

Comments

[claudiometer]

[...Fuck it, there's no reason not to say it when you've been dunked in a lake and given magic to stop a multiversal calamity. Artie, if he ever turns up, will just have to deal.]

Vaguely-supernatural-tchotchke retrieval and storage.

[queenofminiskirts]

Oh, that sounds cool! [Pause.] But what's a tchotchke?

[claudiometer]

A better catch-all word than 'stuff.'

[queenofminiskirts]

I see. So you had a magic pawnshop?

[She's guessing here.]

[claudiometer]

Oh god no, that would be asking for trouble. Artifacts - that's the technical term - have a really high rate of 'someone died horribly' as a side effect. Could be the person using it, could be an innocent bystander, could be both. We get them out of circulation, preferably before anyone gets hurt.

Not always, but preferably.

[queenofminiskirts]

Oh! [She grins, delighted.] So you're a phantom thief! [It's an anime trope. Because she's from an anime of course she's going to deal in anime tropes.]

[claudiometer]

Kinda-sorta-not really? If something gets weird enough for us to roll in, people usually know we're there. And we leave duplicates if we gotta.

None of us are remotely good at cover stories, though.

[queenofminiskirts]

That sounds like a cool job!

[Is it really, Kaoru?]

But I can see why you said it might not be something you can do here...oh! What about learning magic at school? You get paid to go to school here.

[claudiometer]

Oh, it is. Hella dangerous, but it's great. Couldn't have asked for anything better if I'd been actively on the job market.

Yeah, so people have mentioned. It's been a while since I really did school, but if there's money in it it might be worthwhile.

[queenofminiskirts]

I bet.

[She kind of wants to be a phantom thief now!]

And it's a good way to figure out how to use your magic. Things can get pretty dangerous sometimes and magic is useful for those times.

[claudiometer]

As long as no one else shoves me into a vat of Spontaneous Combustion Juice, I should be fine.

[queenofminiskirts]

Spontaneous Combustion Juice? Is that a thing that exists where you from?

[claudiometer]

Not anymore, it doesn't.

[queenofminiskirts]

Oh! That sounds like there's a story there! [She leans forward a little. Do tell, do tell!] What happened to it?

[claudiometer]

Dude got his hands on a Viking ladle that interacted with the chemical makeup of the energy drink he was making, somehow. [Look, Helena did the chemistry-fu in that regard. Claudia was a little busy trying not to combust.]

He doesn't have the ladle anymore. Or the job, probably, but that's not part of mine - just taking the thing before anyone else exploded.

[queenofminiskirts]

...was he planning to drink it?

[Because that sounded like a really bad idea...]

[claudiometer]

Not that I know of, but he sure didn't mind the prospect of an entire wrestling team combusting.