Voice, un: MadeinHeaven

[cameprepared]

[It has been a bit since Claire had the spoons to address the network, but she knows when she's in a bad place, and knows that talking is something that helps her cope...so she opens the feed to make some sort of broadcast.

It sits open for a moment, the only sound the shifting of clawed feet on wood and Claire's breath. She hesitates, unsure of what she wants to say, until her familiar's deep baritone voice rumbles out.]

Ask the question, Claire.

[She sighs, and finally spits out what she'd come up with.]

So. I lost someone important to me. Pretty much the person that was motivating me to give a shit about...basically everything. I don't want to talk much about that, because that won't bring her back, but to those that knew her, I know she'll think fondly of you.

What I do want to talk about is finding that motivation. What has you getting up in the morning, this far from home? Why do you get out and do stuff? I wanna know what helps other people focus beyond just survival instinct.

[Claire pauses, starting to say something but cutting herself off before the words turn into a simple apology. Re-centering herself with an audible breath, she goes on.]

I know, I know, philosophical questions are weird and probably out of place on this network thing, but humor me, okay?

Comments

voice; un: rokumon

[garyoutensei]

[ The sound of a striking match. She made a habit of starting a fresh pipe any time she responded to something on the network. It tended to help. ]

I have something I need to finish back home... so I'm willing to wait until I fond out who, or what, I need to kill here to finish that work.

[cameprepared]

That's fair. Getting home is a goal.

I guess I should ask though, what if killing won't help? It feels like we've made next to no progress on the actual save-the-universe thing.

un: lightfellowc [voice]

[ofsilverflame]

Claire...

[Chris wants to offer words of sympathy but that's not what her friend is looking for at the moment, and this isn't the place for it. So she focuses here on the question being asked.]

I remember that there are people who rely on me, and who I in turn rely on. And there is always work to be done, a task on which I can focus on. And...because at the end of the day, I am not built for idleness. I find meaning in service to others, be it my friends, comrades, or the people I'm sworn to protect.

[Right now it's more unofficial than it was back in Zexen, for the time being.]

[cameprepared]

I have...kind of neglected that promise I made to help you out with that militia, haven't I?

[She knows this isn't what Chris means, but it's the first thought that comes to mind for her right now.]

Voice | UN:darklydawnsthefan

[flapsin]

Well for me, sometimes those people who aren't here can be that motivation. All of time and space outside of here is apparently frozen, after all. So everything we do each day, even the little things, it all brings us one step closer to saving them all and getting to see them again.

...I do also still have other supportive friends here too, but that first part is still a significant part of my motivation!

[cameprepared]

That's fair. Probably the thing I should be focusing on, myself. There's definitely a lot that needs doing.

But it feels like we've made next to no real progress on the actual getting back to our friends and family.

voice; un: orpheus

[foolaround]

[ normally, she might play off something like this, or lie, or respond anonymously if she wanted to be honest. but now... fuck it. ]

That's... a really good question. [ kotone lets out a breath. ] I don't know. I have some of my people here, but... they're not...

[ there's a pause. she's stepping around the edges of something, verbally. kotone changes gears. ] It's still not a bad life here. And even if none of us know what we're doing... it matters, you know?

[cameprepared]

[Claire doesn't really have the spoons to pry, and wouldn't even if she did. she's not the type, to want to step into a stranger's troubles.]

It's easy to get lost because it isn't bad. That's...what I'm worried about. That I'll get complacent. That I will miss something. But fixing home is important.

voice; un: hpotter

[phoenixwiz]

Oh Merlin, I’m really sorry to hear that your friend is gone, Claire. I know that I didn’t got the chance to meet her, but I do hope that she’ll be alright back in your world.

Basically, I have been thinking about my friends and my home: I can’t just let them down while time is frozen over there. By trying to assist Avalon and Camelot in any way I can, even if it is the smallest thing and it’ll take us years to get there, I want to do it so we can all see our friends and family again.

I do agree with the duck man who has commented ahead of me: sometimes it’s the people who’s not here with us that can be our biggest motivator.

[cameprepared]

We'll see. She's gone, and for all intents and purposes, she's dead. Since...until we fix it, that stuff is gone.

It's hard to know where to go next, because it feels like we've done nothing.

audio; un: lilmonix3

[peninhand]

Hello. My name is Monika. You don't know me, but I'm sorry for your loss.

[ She'd replied because that particular topic was one she'd thought about a lot, and-- ]

What gets me up in the morning is... The thought of finding someone like that. Someone who will make my days worth living. [An awkward pause.] I'm sure you'll find your friend again someday. Maybe that thought can help you going.

[cameprepared]

Thanks, Monika.

[Claire laughs, something almost bitter, but also a little tired.]

It's my kid that's gone. So, I guess it's like I had that? Only, now she's back to being stuck in a dead universe or...whatever. I don't even know.

Audio; un: Caster (Private)

[colchismagecraft]

[That news hit her like a punch to the gut- losing her child must have been...there really was nothing that could fill that void, was there?

She knew nothing she could say would make it hurt any less- platitudes certainly not. So instead: ]

If you're up for company, why don't we go and get something to eat? It's my turn to treat you, after all. If not, then I don't mind bringing whatever you need to your place- do you have food there? I know how difficult it is to take care of things like that at times like this.

As for the question... to tell you the truth, I'm struggling to find that myself. If it makes you feel any better you're not the only one who's been asking the network about things like this tonight.

[cameprepared]

I don't really have food, no. I've kinda eaten it all.

[She shifts, and the Dog answers before Claire can.]

You should come. Claire's a mess, Medea.

Hey! I'm not.

You've been in pajamas for three days...

voice; un:li_min

[kiss_it_better]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Though maybe he wasn't the best person to answer this. When he learned Gu Yun died back home his first instinct had been to follow him in the future. Even now that was the plan since he'd been given permission to do so once he's done his duty.]

I'm afraid my answer may not help much. My heart is rather small, in it there's only space enough for one person. [One person and one Marquis Manor.] For that person's sake, even climbing a mountain of knives or crossing a sea of fire wouldn't be too much. Even if I were to lose him, I think I'd continue to live my life according to what that person would have wanted for me.

[cameprepared]

That's kind of how I feel about Sherry.

[Claire laughs a bitter little laugh.]

I'd be a shit parent if I didn't. Fought a zombie army to get her to safety, so what's a mountain of knives.

private voice; un: coffeefiend

[ichoosefight]

[ Steph sighs, but the subject is important and personal enough that she wants to give an honest answer. Private, but honest. ]

Because if I don't, I'll feel pathetic. And I already feel pathetic enough. I've never been someone who gives up, and I don't want to start now.

private

[cameprepared]

Stephanie.

[That's a voice Claire knows, and, shit that's an unhealthy answer.]

You could never be pathetic.

voice; un: stargazer

[leicesters]

Sorry for your loss, Claire. [He won't pry, but he feels the need to say at least that much.]

Aside from just surviving and wanting to stop the Calamity, there's much that I need to accomplish back home. I know I won't achieve anything if I just drop everything and give up trying.

[cameprepared]

Thanks, Claude.

[Claire takes an audible breath, she's quiet for a moment, and then she goes on.]

I guess, that's sort of what I've been thinking my goal should be? There's something I need to do, but the problem is kinda solved now, which is weird to say, but if the world goes back to the way it was whenever we manage to...make some headway...it'll come back.

voice; UN: firstfallen

[corruptedsave]

Man, that sucks for you.

[Said as only a kid can say such a thing about someone else's loss, as to the question...]

My brother is here, so I gotta get up and be strong for him.

[cameprepared]

Yeah.

[She's not sure what to say to that.]

Glad you have your brother, kid. That's something to hold on to.

voice; un: fastasthewind

[heavenlyskies]

That sounds hard. Losing the person that motivates you, and it's hard to be away from them. [Haruka had missed Michiru since arriving.]

But if you want to find something to motivate you, then you have to remember what you liked, what made you who you are. Then continue to pursue that and try to get better at it. While it's not the same as hopping in a car or on a bike, I find that getting a fast mount helps remind me of that feeling and can make my day better.

So what is it that you like, what do you do that was just yours?

[cameprepared]

[Well, someone else is a speed demon, apparently.]

Oh I feel that loss too. I've got a bike. But my Harley's stuck back on Earth with my kid. And I'm not exactly good on a horse. Back home, if I was down, I'd go for a ride.

...I wasn't exactly responsible, but I feel like you feel me there.

voice; un: kirijo

[kirijo]

It's ... difficult.

[ As though that needs to be said. ]

Over the course of the past few months, I lost my father and a very, very dear friend. Finding any sort of comfort or desire to move forward was a struggle, and it wasn't until another friend intervened that I was able to feel anything beyond those losses.

[cameprepared]

I'm sorry to hear that.

[She is, actually. She's...sort of dealing with the opposite thing here, since it's her adopted child that's gone. But she gets it.]

What was it the friend did that helped you move forward?

voice; un: smoking_bomb

[bakudan_bambino]

I've been to two other worlds aside from my home. I've met a friend who started as my rival, then became my friend, then my lover. I got engaged to him in the last world I was in. I've met and lost six different versions of him.

I think...

it's been really hard for me to find that motivation. But realizing that you aren't alone in what you're going through is important.

Focusing on things in this world I haven't found in any other is what gets me out of my seclusion, or... mourning. Whatever you want to call it.

I hope this helps.

[cameprepared]

Sounds like you've been through a lot.

I'm sorry, for what that's worth. I haven't been anywhere but home and here. Home's got it's share of problems, but I can't imagine losing a fiancé. I've just lost my kid, but a fiancé six times?

Audio | un: scientistatwork

[doctorintern]

I'm sorry to hear that you lost someone. I can only imagine how difficult that must be.

I'm not sure how much this might help, but...A lot of what motivates me is definitely my friends and family back home. But as much as I do want to help them while time is frozen there...I've also made a lot of friends here that I also want to help. Getting to meet people from worlds I never could have imagined, and knowing that there could be something I can do now that could assist them somehow...sometimes it's a little easier to think about that.

[cameprepared]

It's okay. Thank you.

Any thoughts help, of course. I'm just trying to figure out where my head is, and I'm garbage at it. I do have friends here, I think we've all met a lot of neat people. It's just not easy to see the forest for the trees sometimes I guess.

Voice; un: Koromaru

[whatsamada]

[For a moment, Ken had wondered if he should say anything. After all, this was a very personal topic for him to discuss.]

To be honest, it's realizing that there are others here who need help too. The fact that you're alive means you can still do something.

[Pause]

That's what I learned after losing so many people in my life.

\

[cameprepared]

Yeah, Ken. That's...kinda where my head is going. I just...

[She sighs.]

Feels like going from one survival situation to another, only this time, it's with people who should have a clue like Merlin, and they don't seem to have one.

voice, un: mafuyu

[restringing]

I was alone before he showed up, but I haven't lost someone that important here. But... I have back home. [A pause.] And I still don't know the answer.

[In fact, the only reason that Mafuyu is able to respond at all is because he took a long, long time sorting through and collecting his thoughts before replying. He wouldn't be able to talk about this smoothly otherwise, but Claire doesn't need to know that!]

It's hard. But saying this much means you're trying... and I think that's a good thing. Not losing hope.

[cameprepared]

Yeah. I know. Helps that my familiar is pushing me.

[The Dog chuffs audibly.]

You got friends here?

video| un: gawainknightoftheroundtable

[loyalbreed]

There is no sense in finding remorse of what you feel is lost. Surely you can find charitable moments that guide you into your future, on to the next thing - no? Even upon death no one person who hath themselves full of love toward another, would wish to see you unmoved like the time of our worlds.

[ Being a Heroic Spirit, granted Gawain a sort of introspection that really clung to the idea of moving forward. Moving on towards the next thing. It was a blessing of optimism granted toward ones like himself, but he knows those who do not live from a place where these opportunities present itself. Would falter otherwise. ]

Though I am sure that is not something you wish to hear, it will be said regardless. Move onwards, for your sake and their own.

[cameprepared]

[Well. This guy is big. Whoa.]

Moving onwards is kinda the goal. I just feel like I'm drifting without a direction beyond forward. I thought I had a plan, but my...daughter...kinda was the plan?

Uh, unrelated and maybe weird question but are you one of Arthur's knights, too?

video: un: starblazing

[letmewin]

I... I'm really sorry you lost someone. I know it can be real hard.

( It's... not really the same, but he sort of knows how it feels. )

... I know when I lost someone -- I felt really sad for a long time. Sometimes... friends can help a lot, if you have someone to talk to.

( There's no way to really full distract yourself when you're hurting. That, and Asriel wouldn't exactly offer her advise to do what he did back then. )

[cameprepared]

It's okay. Thank you, for the sympathy.

[She does appreciate it. A lot. This outpouring of support in general is more than she expected.]

I'm...just looking for a new thing to focus on. Some path, since my goals were mostly to take care of Sherry, here.

voice | un: arcturus

[theleadingman]

I've found myself wondering the very same. Sometimes, I think it's merely my dislike for remaining idle, but it would be nice to be able to say with confidence that it's more than that.

[Truth be told, he's still struggling to find his purpose here. He pauses, then ventures to ask:]

Will you be alright?

[He knows she doesn't want to talk about it, and they needn't say anything further if she doesn't wish it, but he knows how important her young charge had been to her. She'd made that much very plain.]

[cameprepared]

I get it. Being stuck in one place isn't my idea of a good time either. Especially not when I don't really know how to change that.

[There is a pause on her end, an intake of breath.]

I need distractions. I'll go crazy otherwise. But, I'll survive.

[She'd be a wreck for a bit of course but who wouldn't be after what she's lost?