text; un: selcouth

[sulit]

So, I have an animal-related task that my friend and I need to complete! Can I get an animal mage to step up? Raise your hands? Or paws? I've got some gold to pay with, if you need compensation.

((OOC note: This isn't related to the Animal Mage Hunt quest, but feel free to assume it is, if you like. The timing is hilariously bad but purely coincidental.))

Comments

text; un: jean

[rustyhonesty]

I don't mind assisting. Which is it?

[sulit]

Hello~ We need someone that can speak to snakes and frogs. There is some very important information that we need to gather.

[rustyhonesty]

That shouldn't be a problem. Snakes are sometimes a bit hard to understand because of their hissing, but it's doable.

[sulit]

Oh, good! Next question: How good are you at keeping secrets?

[rustyhonesty]

Good enough. I'm not the type to go around gossiping.

[sulit]

Good! We can't have any loose lips when we're investigating the elusive knowledge of the animal world. We need trusted professionals. Reliable translators! You understand, right?

audio; un: RRRrrrr

[wuf]

What do you need?

[sulit]

[She normally likes conversing with strangers over text, but... Well, audio is fine, too. She'll switch over after a moment.]

A translator, of sorts! Can you talk to snakes? Or frogs?

[wuf]

Yes. Can talk to all.

Easy. Animals talk.

I listen. What needed?

[sulit]

Mmm, my friend could probably explain it better, but--

We suspect that the snakes and frogs are hoarding secret knowledge. Possibly pertaining to magic, possibly pertaining to immortality--it's hard to say. But we need to confirm whether or not this secret knowledge exists, and the nature of what it might be.

[wuf]

Sounds not true. Talk to animals a lot.

Talk of stuff not too different from people.

No secret magic.

[sulit]

It wouldn't be a secret if they just told you about it, would it?

Maybe you have to gain their trust and get them to open up to you. This would be the sort of thing that a frog would play close to the chest, I think. And snakes are known for being liars.

[wuf]

Animals trust Razor.

[ He's baffled. ]

Animals honest. Will ask, but think -- not true.

[sulit]

How do you know? What if they're lying about trusting you? Would you be able to tell?

[wuf]

Yes.

[sulit]

Hmm... I don't know that I believe you! What if the frogs and snakes tell you their secrets, and then you don't tell them to me? How do I even know you can talk to them at all? Do you have animal mage credentials? Official documentation? Am I presently speaking with an expert?

text; un: manslayer

[hitokiri]

picking off the suckers first huh? not a bad strategy i suppose

[ he's definitely assuming this is a trap. ]

[sulit]

???

A strategy for what?

[hitokiri]

luring out the animal magic types obviously. aint gonna make me spell it all out are ya?

[sulit]

Well, yes? I mean, we have to lure one out in order to hire their services. Is that what you mean?

[hitokiri]

no i mean lure them out to kill em what else?
whole things a little too random for my taste

[sulit]

??????????

There aren't nearly enough characters in these text features to display all the question marks I want to use. Are you out of your mind? Why would I be killing animal mages? Do we have to resurrect the Is Murder Bad conversation? I'm pretty sure I could just link it here, if you need it.

[hitokiri]

THATS THE FUCKIN QUEST I DONT MAKE THE RULES

also

what Is Murder Bad conversation?? that up for debate around here

[sulit]

[...Quest? She hasn't checked the quest board lately, not after that one humiliation quest was posted and she closed the app in disgust. She'll tentatively open that again... and skim the available quests really quick...]

Oh, absolutely not. No. Three million times no!!! 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️ I am definitely not trying to murder anyone right now. If some creep wants to murder mages because they've got personal problems, that's on them. They can stop being a coward and do their own dirty work. *I'm* just trying to talk to frogs. 🐸🐸🐸

Here. Educate yourself.

[hitokiri]

dont really give a shit why they wanna murder people either i just think the whole things sloppy start to finish so i aint getting involved.

but what is the big fuckin deal with frogs anyway

[ he just happens to know someone else who is very into frogs and way more frustrating. ]

[sulit]

Right? I mean, what kind of request is this? There's not even a target. It's just "Kill everyone until you find the person I'm talking about". No location or physical features or anything. The incompetence is astounding.

The big deal about frogs is that they're very secretive. Don't you ever wonder what they're croaking about when they're all chattering together in their frogsong? They have frog secrets, and we want them.

[hitokiri]

who knows. really tried not to think too hard about that whole post tbh

[ the bit about the cow person is regrettably living in his mind rent-free now and he does not love it. ]

"frog secrets"
they probably talk about eating bugs and shit i dunno. whatever the fuck frogs think about. they dont do much

how much are these "frog secrets" worth to u anyway? hypothetical like.

[sulit]

*Or* they could be talking about the secret of immortality or something! Just as an example~ They are definitely not talking about immortality and do not know how to achieve immortality. 🤭

...What about 1000G?

[At some point, offering ten bucks for someone to do something silly isn't going to work... But she's going to keep that standard until then.]

[hitokiri]

huh really?

[ but then he remembers how much things cost here instead of just looking at the number. 1000g is like a fortune by his understanding, in his own currency. avalon's though? little different. ]

gold aint worth much here tho right? those secrets must not be all that valuable then

[sulit]

...Okay, okay. Clearly you are a person who understands the local economy. Or maybe you're just a person with options! I get it. I will make you a better offer.

...How about 2000G?

[raveyardpatriarch]

Is this the intervention?

[sulit]

Yes, we need an objective third party to relay knowledge from the snakes and frogs. And possibly salamanders. 🐍🐸🦎❓

[raveyardpatriarch]

There's no cultivation here, they might just be talking about frog poetry or something. I don't know if I'm ready for that.

[sulit]

There's magic! There's so much magic. Isn't that kinda the same thing?

Besides, do you have something against frog poetry? Maybe it's very nice poetry!

[raveyardpatriarch]

It either is or it isn't. For ☁️ purposes, the answer is probably "isn't." He won't be swayed by frog magic.

What if it's frog recipes? I would definitely have something against that.

[sulit]

How is it not the same thing? I don't see it. Magic is just a word for manipulating the ambient energy of the world around us, thereby producing results that couldn't be achieved through normal physics. Things like achieving immortality... That's definitely magic!

What do you have against frog recipes? Maybe bugs are delicious. Have you ever tried them?

[raveyardpatriarch]

When you put it that way I can definitely see some similarities. But ideally cultivation uses your own energy, and *not* ambient energy. Though it's all the same energy, really, when you get down to it. But you probably shouldn't say that to any cultivators.

Have YOU? I don't want to think about things cooked by tiny sticky frog hands.

[sulit]

Agreed! Your energy, ambient energy; it's all the same stuff, and I will happily say it to anyone~ Any of your silly cultivators that think they are made of some special magical energies are in for a rude awakening.

I haven't tried bugs, but I know someone who has! Probably. I'm sure she thinks they taste good. I hear they're very good protein, whether sticky frog hands have touched them or not. Is it better or worse than 👻 hands? You did offer to tie my noodles together once! I can't believe you're complaining about hands touching food now.