avalononline | [voice], UN: whatever

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[voice], UN: whatever

[there is a pause for a moment and when he begins to speak his voice is rough]

Right. Assuming this isn't just another bloody fever dream that I'll wake up from to find myself pitched into... I don't know, some scifi or whatever--

What is the best way to get on here? What should I avoid? Is there a way to skip all this horseshit and go home?

[there is a violent sneeze followed by a soft groan]

And I don't suppose there's some magic to cure a cold.

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I need to change my face and live in the woods. [he's sitting curled up in a chair ien the far corner of the room, duvet tucked around him and holding a cup of tea in his hands. There's another cup on the table if ...if the other wants it]

Piss off.

[ He smirked a 'good luck with that' before locking the door and taking up the other chair, sideways, using the arms more like a footrest, and picking up the cup to chase away the chill. ]

You first.

They give you anything for that? Not being an ass, that's incurable, but the cold.

Mmf. [if he weren't feeling like dog shit he'd slip out the window]

Sit right for fuck's sake what the hell is that. [but it's only a mild grumble. He huffs and slugs further down into the blanket]

I'm fine.

Go away.

[ It was a familiar grumble too, one that reminded Crowley just how important family could be... you know, to a human. ]

I will, eventually. I have to find you some cold medicine. They must have some.

No. Don't bother. I'll get it myself.

You won't. You never do.

[ He took a sip of the... what the heck was it, coffee?? It had an usual flavor! ]

What...

[ It was a sentimental question but one he felt compelled to ask, even if it sparked up another sensitive subject. ]

What do you think happened to the rest of the family? Did they end up going back to the worlds they came from or on to new places like this one?

[he hadn't thought about that. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want it to exist.]

Who knows. It didn't exist. It wasn't real. They're probably fine wherever they are.

[ The strange coffee was given another sip as at least it was warm. ]

This whole plugging your fingers in your ears and going, 'LALALA, id didn't happen' going to last long?

As long as you being an ass about not respecting my beliefs or opinions if they don't align with your own is going to last. Not to mention invading my personal space and deciding you know better than anyone in the bloody world.

Stalemate.

[ As he didn't see that feeling changing any time soon. He couldn't forget what they had been, even if it was a Bureau setup, those memories were real enough. ]

Don't be an idiot. I know that's difficult for you but make an effort. I don't want anything to do with you or Fell and I'd appreciate if for once in your lives you'd respect that.

[ The horrible tea turned to ash in his mouth, figuratively speaking... It matched the gloom cloud that seemed to hover over Alec like a veil. ]

You'll break his heart.

[ And his. Though Crowley didn't wish to admit it. ]

[he snorted] He'll be fine. He won't even accept it. The day I get him to leave me the hell alone is the day I die most likely. Stubborn bastard

[ A faint love tinged smirk. Aziraphale could out bastard Alec, he had no doubt of that. ]

Guess he doesn't want to pretend it didn't happen either.

[the loving smirk is both annoying and heartwarming and there's that familiar stab of jealousy that he's entirely too damn old for. He had his chance and missed it twice. Clearly this was not meant for him]

Well it didn't. Don't my thoughts matter to you at all? Do my feelings even register? Or are you just going to do as you please regardless?

I always do what I please regardless. Demon.

[ Crowley floated that reminder but it wasn't like he didn't hear Alec. He wanted to forget all that happened, that it was just some kind of fever dream or illusion... It was too difficult for him to have it mean anything.

But it was too difficult for Crowley to forget it. It had happened and he felt the fury of being pulled away from it all growing into a demonic rage. ]

I can't just forget it! Alright! Stop telling me to!!

It fucking happened! We were there! We lived those lives! I had a mother and siblings, I lived with my two cousins in New York, AND every last one of you pissed me off at some point but...

[ His voice cracked as the demon stumbled over the sentiment, 'I loved you all anyway.' He couldn't SAY that! It was too dear, too needy, and about as un-Crowley as you could get. When had he ever needed anyone... but Aziraphale. He deflated like a popped balloon into his chair, slipping into an epic sulk. ]

It happened.

[he hated being so easily manipulated, hated seeing his pain, his need for this. But it felt wrong. It didn't make sense. There couldn't be two lives there could only be one. He couldn't have been both at once. He didn't want to be trapped in that suffocating closeness of family.

How was he going to be able to leave in the end? How was he going to be able to let it go to do what he had to? It was so much more attractive than anything waiting for him, but he deserved that life he ended up in and had to serve out his time. To serve his own justice.]

Maybe it happened for you, but it didn't happen for me.

[he looked into his cold tea]

Don't worry. Maybe your mum will show up.

[ Was that meant to be comforting? Some hollow words... maybe your mum will show up. So what if she did? She wouldn't really be his mum and this time she would know it! There wouldn't be any loving acceptance of him, demonic faults and all, would there? What if she were more like Alec ready to throw him aside just like everyone else. ]

It doesn't matter.

[ It did, but Crowley said it anyway like it was opposite day before standing and abandoning his cup on the table. ]

If you want to be left alone I'll leave you alone.

[ The hurt tinged words grew a bit rough as they were growled through clinched teeth. ]

But don't come crying to me if you get into trouble here.

[he was a giant pain in the ass was what he was. So mopey. So like a child. Everything had to be his way. And Alec knew no matter what he said that he would interfere- that was his way. Their way really. They just couldn't stay out of things even from their best interests.]

That won't keep you away. You'll come if I'm crying or not, you shit. [he gets up with a rough sigh and comes behind him to wrap his arms and concindentally duvet around his... around his...really brother's form]

What the hell do I even call you, you needy bastard, hm?

[ A 6,000 plus year old baby. God might have said so too, more subtly and with a knowing laugh. Sulking when things weren't going his way was a very old habit and one not likely to change any time soon but this time Crowley thought he might have actually have been forced to leave. Alec had been so final about everything that the demon almost startled when he ended up wrapped in that hug. He didn't expect it, didn't deserve it... even if he had been planning to drop a suggestion onto the desk of the counter clerk about a certain room number needing a cough and cold medication. It wasn't meddling! ]

Nothing wrong with Anthony. I picked it out myself. Anthony J. Crowley.

[ He snuggled back into Alec's duvet covered arms just like he might have done when they were younger in that world that never existed. ]

You... you're still Alec?

That's never changed. Still same old boring Alec. [he turned his head to cough into his shoulder]

But Fell calling you Crowley is going to be strange. And he's going to be insufferable too I just know it. He's going to get that little self righteous smirk and I won't be able to do anything but stand there and take it.

God, I hate you both.

[not that he's letting go anytime soon either]

I like same old boring Alec. Not that you aren't an ass.

[ But took one to know one?

That's why Aziraphale would be so smug. The power of love and brotherhood wins out in the end. Crowley knew it rarely ever did but considered it lucky if they might have stumbled onto just a touch of that with each other. ]

Don't worry about him. He will just run it in every time you see him.

[ Like usual! ]

You're still human I guess?

Mmph. [the response to the statement...and the question]

I almost wish I wasn't... or you were... We're so different... [perhaps a small part of him wished to feel that in some way he belonged]

[ Were they though? He was a demon and Alec was a human, there were some differences there sure but... Crowley shook his head like Alec was crazy.]

Never heard anyone, ever, describe us as different. Usually got the opposite, that's
why we ended up with the matching PJs and...

[ Deep sigh. ]

...the horrible Christmas sweaters.

[a faint laugh that turns into a cough]

Might be right. Shit.

[another harsher cough and he leans heavily against Anthony]

Get me the bloody medicine will you.

[voice], UN: whatever

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