video; un: dellacacy

[sos_pilot]

Uh, hey all my party peeps. I was kinda hoping to ask for some advice, if you've got any to spare?

Back at that masquerade - major fun, by the way, would do again - we all got second magic, right? I was all, like, score, more magic! Except then I learned my second magic was... dark magic. Hexes, curses, shadow manipulation...

Here's the deal. Back home? I know one person one did all that jazz - especially the shadow stuff - and she's straight up evil... Magica De Spell. One of the worst people ever. I mean, if she ever came here? I'd be giving her nonstop punches to the face. I can give you more deets if you need, but trust me, she's called The Shadow Queen for a reason. Sooo learning that I can now do the stuff she does? Kinda made me feel icky all over. Like, I've never heard of someone using curses for good. Even the idea of using it on my enemies just ruffles my feathers.

But I know that's, like, super prejudiced and stuff! And I also know there's probably a ton of you with dark magic who do awesome work with it! So that's what I'm asking for - how to use my dark magic for good, besides fighting bad guys. I know I'll never turn into Evil De Stupidface no matter what, but, still, every little bit helps. Just whack me with the common sense bat ya'll have.

Comments

[sos_pilot]

Hey, can't blame you there. I've always thought experience made the best teacher.

[fruitknife]

Sure did a lot better learning to cook than learning anything else.

[sos_pilot]

Maybe you just have a natural talent for it! Trust me, it doesn't come easy to everyone. Like me.

[fruitknife]

Been practicing since I was eight. That probably has a lot to do with it.

[Also he was interested in it and it had an immediate, obvious effect on his life.]

[sos_pilot]

Dang, maybe you should be the one teaching people!

[fruitknife]

I have before. It'd be hard to find a worse student than Fuuka.

[Or Chie, really. Fuuka at least had a genuine desire to get it right. Whatever extent Chie had that was lost under her total cluelessness.]

[sos_pilot]

I dunno, I'm pretty awful. I've burnt ovens and put my kids into sugar comas.

[fruitknife]

Putting kids into sugar comas ain't exactly hard. Put sugar in front of most kids and they'll eat it until it's gone.

The whole oven?

[sos_pilot]

The whole oven. Luckily Ms. B was there with a fire extinguisher.

[fruitknife]

How the hell did you manage that?

[sos_pilot]

I dunno, I was putting in everything I thought would make a good cake! Chocolate, sugar, pep cola, pop rocks, the good stuff!

[fruitknife]

That's

That wouldn't even make a very good cake, for starters. Soda's gonna fuck up how everything else comes together. Without flour or eggs or something it's not gonna hold together. Also it'd be way too sweet.

Pop rocks might work better in the frosting than in the cake.

[sos_pilot]

Well hey, it sounds like I was close on that last thing, so yay for me!

[fruitknife]

['Close' is very, very relative.]

Still not sure how that turned into settin' the oven on fire.

[sos_pilot]

Maybe the oven was defective! And hopefully not because I turned it on to the max heat so the cakes would bake faster.

[fruitknife]

Well, I got some bad news for you, in that case.

Something might've dripped out of the cake pan onto your heat source, but 'more heat cooks it faster' doesn't mean 'you can eat whatever comes out of the oven.' Or that it cooked all the way through. Best result was probably burnt outside, raw inside.

[sos_pilot]

Really? Well, I guess that does explain how it was both goopy and black in certain places.

[fruitknife]

Really.

Ever tried, I dunno, following a recipe?

[sos_pilot]

I thought real cooks never used recipes!

[fruitknife]

That only works once you actually know what you're doing.

[sos_pilot]

... Yeah, you've got a point.