avalononline | Video; UN: smoking

[The device clicks on to show Gokudera sitting at a window and touching the leaves of a grape plant, looking calm and thoughtful before he speaks up.]

I’ve been asleep for a few weeks. While I was asleep, I went back home, and then to two different worlds, and now I’m back. I’ve been away from this place for two... no maybe three years. Time is acting strange, or maybe my familiar, Larry thought that I’d benefit more here with more experience under my belt.

[He glares gently at a semi-transparent reptile sleeping on the window sill.]

Has anyone else left this world for-

[Gokudera winces and puts a hand to the half choke collar around his neck. The skin beneath it is obviously damaged and irritated.] -such a long span of time, only to come back here and find that it was like... you never left at all? I’ve been to Anchor and Amoi, if anyone else has... let me know.

Also, in one of those worlds, I had this put on me. [He keeps his hand on the collar.]

I think it’s malfunctioning. The only person who can deactivate and remove it safely is... not here yet. So in the meantime, I need it repaired or at least looked at by someone with advanced technological experience.

[Gokudera moves to turn off the feed, and his left hand is lightly scarred, but more important in the visual is the engagement ring on his ring finger.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Gokudera will not try to convince he go to video. Hikaru can communicate however he is comfortable.]

No, this world feels more real. I feel like I am a simulation. Maybe this one is just more advanced than the others, though?

but then how could only you be a simulation? why would this place only make you one?

and were you one from the beginning of coming here?

[He really wants to ask him about Lunatia, about his memories of that, but he's not going to give himself away so easily.]

Maybe this is a simulation and we're all downloaded here. Like some sort of alternate universe we're all dreaming up or plugged into. Obviously I'm not alone here, so it can't just be a place for me.

It definitely started before I got here. Like when I went to Amoi.

yeah, my guess is simulation. it makes sense why in the other world i was at, when i tried to leave it, i only came here instead. it was like...i was transported like a save. to another simulation.

I never tried to leave either world I was on. If someone tried to leave Amoi, they would die. Elites could afford to be brought back, but I didn't have that kind of social standing, so that would have been the end for me.

When I died on that other world, I came back... so it does seem like there was something of save data, or a reload.

Maybe I've just been transferred to another simulation...

DIE?? in lunatia they were letting us leave. i felt like an idiot for believing it

but...

what kind of messed up worlds did you have to go through? i mean if this is a simulation then i guess death doesn't mean much? you can be reloaded...

what happens if you die here?

and this could all just be the same thing. like different worlds in a video game

The world I came from before this wasn't so messed up, but there was a zombie invasion, so that's how I went.

I don't know what happens in regards to death in this world. Guess I could put up another network post and ask if anyone has died...

I agree.

zombie invasion? where you came from had zombies AND you died because of them and you said it wasn't so messed up? that's the exact meaning of messed up.

i don't even want to think about dying here.

Okay. It is messed up, but compared to the world I lived in before that... not as messed up.

Gives you the creeps or something? Everyone dies eventually... [He just can't help that he's curious about how it works in this world.]

that is a stupidly small bar

it isn't so much the dying part as how would i die here? not interested in dying in some gruesome fashion

Yeah. But I've got to weigh out all the garbage I've been through and honestly, everything in this world is a cakewalk, even if that bar is low.

I can't imagine anyone would be?

My death wasn't very gruesome. It's not like the zombies ate me... Just bit me and then I set myself on fire so... I was in control of how it happened. I just didn't want anything left of me to infect anyone else. I didn't want to hurt anyone...

you set yourself on fire?!

Yeah. From the inside out.

[He doesn't want to share too much if Hikaru doesn't want to know. It's as awful as it likely sounds.]

[What does one say to that?] sorry

[That apparently.]

It’s alright. Guess I’ve got a couple lives.

how do you even come back from all that? like. mentally. and not be scarred for life?

[You don't just ask somebody about being traumatized, Hikaru.]

I’m sure I have some form of PTSD, but not from dying. But I think mainly I’m not entirely unwell because of emotional support from my friends. They’re no therapists, and I don’t want to burden them, but it helps to know they think well enough to want to be around me.

[Wait, this is not a field that Hikaru is good at. Crap.]

i feel like there's gotta be a therapist here or something.

not sure if they're trained in computer simulation trauma though

[Gokudera has no expectations.]

Maybe? Don’t worry about it.

Video; UN: smoking_bomb

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