scotch_egg: (so tired)
Alec Hardy ([personal profile] scotch_egg) wrote in [community profile] avalononline2021-04-12 12:54 am
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video| Un. A. HardCrowley

Right.

[Alec appears in front of the camera with an enormous rack, antlers, that is. And while they aren't out of proportion exactly (well as in proportion as they can be to an otherwise human head) it would make a stag take a second look]

I've had these bloody things a month or more. [and it wasn't the only thing he had, but he wasn't talking about the rest of it.]

That thing is no help. [he jerked his thumb at the spectral whippet shaped grim gnawing on a squeaky toy that looked like a strangled chicken]

If anyone has any suggestion on how to get them to go away, I'd appreciate it. Anything short of a saw. I've tried meditation-- I've tried sleeping more. [though he'd failed at both. Probably because of the damned antlers]

I'm out of ideas.

And I think I've got something else now. Magic I mean. How the hell do you lot handle all this? I just want to go home and read a book for God's sake.

[though which home he really didn't want to think too hard about]

[also he hopes no one notices the user name as he didn't notice it until it was too late to do anything about it]
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scotch_egg: (doesn't seem right)

[personal profile] scotch_egg 2021-04-13 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
And? Does anything lately? Not if you've been paying attention.
konpeito_aji: (idk my bff Mitsuhide?)

[personal profile] konpeito_aji 2021-04-13 06:21 am (UTC)(link)
Everything else, but you does.

Wormholes, alternate timelines where the love of my life is a kitsune princess and her fathers are one of my vassals and in my world; her husband. Why not?

Oni are still fictional, but only as I know them. Religion? Same. Other worlds, they're real, so fine, I'll conquer them all and become the Demon King of all worlds. [SHING!] No problem!

But competent smart idiot friends you don't trust with blades doesn't make sense. Either you can't trust them because they're idiots, or they're competent so you should trust them, so which is it?

I don't like to have blades near my scalp either, but that's just honed instinct from when I was eight.
Edited 2021-04-13 06:48 (UTC)
scotch_egg: (mild concern)

[personal profile] scotch_egg 2021-04-14 03:59 am (UTC)(link)
[he simply refuses to process any of those words or believe half of it exists and you can't makehim]

Right.

Both.

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. But they're still idiots.
konpeito_aji: (Look only at me)

[personal profile] konpeito_aji 2021-04-14 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
So their weaknesses are being clumsy? All of them?
scotch_egg: (clever glasses)

[personal profile] scotch_egg 2021-04-14 04:10 am (UTC)(link)
Both of them and no. Their weaknesses are being idiots. This isn't hard to grasp.
Edited 2021-04-14 04:10 (UTC)
konpeito_aji: (rare solemnity)

[personal profile] konpeito_aji 2021-04-14 04:15 am (UTC)(link)
You have two friends.

[... HE FEELS SO SAD FOR YOU RIGHT NOW! He is the Devil King and has more allies than that!]

Pardon. Two idiot friends.

[JUDGING YOU.]
scotch_egg: (upset)

[personal profile] scotch_egg 2021-04-14 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
[after a moment]

No.

[one is family, though that is up in the air, or maybe typical, he doesn't know. The other is Fell so he doesn't count]

But I still don't trust them.
konpeito_aji: (Why are you like this?)

[personal profile] konpeito_aji 2021-04-14 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe you should try adding more people to your base of acquaintances. You're not a monk, are you?

[Did he ask that? He thinks he did, but it's worth asking again!]
scotch_egg: (listen to me)

[personal profile] scotch_egg 2021-04-14 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
No. And no. I just can't be bothered.
konpeito_aji: (I'm listening - for now)

[personal profile] konpeito_aji 2021-04-14 04:26 am (UTC)(link)
Because you're too busy accidentally turning yourself halfway into a deer, and not having sex.
scotch_egg: (you)

[personal profile] scotch_egg 2021-04-14 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
Go take a cold shower for fuck's sake. [he never wants to have it again at this rate. Not that he's had much luck in the past to begin with. Well it would probably kill him anyway]
konpeito_aji: (I always win)

[personal profile] konpeito_aji 2021-04-14 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
[Tilts his head!]

[It takes him a bit to get the slang for that.]

It's just if you were in such a relationship already, I could understand where it'd be...

[SMIRK] Relaxing.
scotch_egg: (shat up)

[personal profile] scotch_egg 2021-04-14 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
Then clearly you don't understand shit.
konpeito_aji: (Say that after you win a round)

[personal profile] konpeito_aji 2021-04-14 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, you're clearly not tense.
scotch_egg: (listening)

[personal profile] scotch_egg 2021-04-14 04:44 am (UTC)(link)
You don't know who the hell I am or how I'd be in a relationship. It would be shit and would make everyone else miserable too. Not that it's any of your bloody business, but I am sick of you people; heads stuck so far up your arses you think that's the only way anybody can be happy if they have someone to be with or someone to fuck.

It doesn't work like that for everyone. It doesn't work that way for me. So you and everyone bloody else can piss off and leave me alone.

[and then there is a blur as he throws the damn thing across the room and maybe it breaks but he doesn't give a shit]
konpeito_aji: (Demon King of 6th Heaven)

[personal profile] konpeito_aji 2021-04-14 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
[Poor man. Oda's DEFINITELY convinced he needs help.]

[AS IT IS THOUGH, it's taking all of Nobunaga's self-control not to laugh.]

[He has no idea what happened, but maybe the phone was headbutted by antlers.]

It doesn't have to be a relationship. But find something that relaxes you. That you enjoy. Actually enjoy. Not torture yourself with.

Hot springs?
scotch_egg: (ngh)

[personal profile] scotch_egg 2021-04-14 04:54 am (UTC)(link)
[there is no reply]
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