001 - [VIDEO] | UN: HAMMERTIME

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[There's a number of false starts here. The video blipping on to a green eye then cutting out. Then snapping back on to a shock of blue hair.]

How the hell does this thing wo—

[Nope, it's out again.]

[One more time now. The picture is askew and there's a tall, blue-haired man tapping the lens of the camera, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth. Some of you may recognize him from the training grounds at the Red Spring. He was the one going around asking people to hurt him. You know. Like a crazy person.]

Okay, is it working? Screw it.

So, this thing is some sort of communicator, right? Well, for those of you who can see this, the name's Darin Altway, Master Blacksmith, at your service.

Now, I know we're all here for ~magical~ reasons and whatnot, but if this world is anything like mine, then you guys are gonna need top notch gear to prevent you from.

Y'know.

Dying.

And that's where I come in! Like I said, I'm a Master Blacksmith, and I'm here to offer up my services! I might not have a forge set up, but that doesn't mean I can't perform general maintenance, and if anyone can point me to some resources, I can start stockpiling!

Comments

[prismatically]

Oh my God, I was right all along. You really are just the ass guy. Your ass is all you wanna talk about!

[ STELLA YOU STARTED IT ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

IT'S NOT ALL I WANT TO TALK ABOUT! YOU KEEP BRINGING IT UP! OF COURSE I'M GONNA DEFEND IT!

[prismatically]

Okay. Okay. How about this? On the count of three, we'll both just agree that we're never gonna have a conversation about your ass ever again.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

...I can't in good conscience promise that.

[Look, he knows what he's about.]

[prismatically]

Next time you start talking about your ass, I'm just hanging up the phone. Bye, see you later forever. Is that what you want?!

[ stella you have had one (1) prior conversation with this man, that isn't the last resort threat you think it is ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

...Okay, but if I brought it up, I obviously have something amazing to say about it. Wouldn't your curiosity get the better of you?

[...He's not wrong, is he.]

[prismatically]

Unless it has literally grown a new set of legs and run away from you, I don't wanna know!

[ A pause, as she mulls that over. ]

Actually, come to think of it, that could actually happen in this place...

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I could literally lose my ass here?! What the hell?!

[YOU ARE NOT REASSURING HIM]

[prismatically]

Definitely. Probably. [ ... ] Okay, maybe. But that totally sounds like the sort of curse someone would sic on you if they got mad enough! I told you, who knows what sorta spells people can cast here?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

You sure seem to know your curses. Any other advice?

[prismatically]

Yeah. Don't get cursed.

[ She nods sagely. ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

...That's it?

[prismatically]

[ She thinks on it for a moment longer. ]

Carry around countercurse potions just in case.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Why is all your advice about curses?! Have you been cursed?! Can you curse people?!

[prismatically]

[ There's an ominous pause.

Stella just smiles and doesn't say anything. ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

...Oh gods are you some kind of pink witch.

[prismatically]

Sorry, but I can't confirm or deny rumors of me being a pink witch. Goes against the witch code. [ "that I just made up" ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

...Damned witch code. You'd think one would slip up but they're really good at sticking to it...

[W H A T]

[prismatically]

Oh, yeah? Well how do I know you're not a witch?

[ She's having fun with this bit. ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Uh, because I'm a guy and that would make me a 'warlock.'

[D U H]

[prismatically]

[ Okay, hold up, she has to break kayfabe for a second. ]

Wait, is that how it works? Aren't warlocks, like, a whole different thing from witches?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

...Are they?

Did I get it wrong?

Crap I always thought warlocks were just male witches...

[prismatically]

[ AND WE'RE BACK ON IT IMMEDIATELY ]

Nope, they're totes different! Being a witch is all about the kind of stuff you can do and what sort of magic you use!

Not that I'd know, obviously. [ STAGE WINK ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

... ... ...

...I'm watching you.

But if you are a witch...you don't seem too bad.

[prismatically]

[ Stella grins at him. ]

Yeah? You don't seem too bad either. ... for an ass guy.