avalononline | [video] - un: pinkmemory

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[video] - un: pinkmemory

[This ought to come as no surprise, really. Aerith spends a decent amount of her free time in the flower shop and usually if she appears on Avalon's network, it's there. That's precisely where she is on today's little impromptu Camelot interruption.

Resting on her forearm against front desk counter, she wears a smile, though it's a bit lighter than she normally gives.]

It's been a while since I said anything on here and I realised I should probably fix that. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Aerith. I run a little flower shop here in the business district of the town. I was in the middle of putting a nice little patio setup outside for people who come by, but it's getting a bit colder, so I think that's going to have to be put on hold until it warms up again.

[Taking a pause to sip from the cup of tea at her side, she sets it down before she continues.]

I know I've said this before, but if any of you have flowers or seeds from your home, for whatever reason that you would, if you bring them to me, I'll try to grow you something. I'm also really interested in trying to crossbreed some flowers, especially from anything that might be capable of surviving the colder weather. If you've already purchased flowers from me and you're having trouble with them, you can pay me a visit any time and I'll fix them up for you.

[After a moment's consideration, she sinks down a bit, shifting to settle her chin in the palm of her hand.]

And you know, with the weather getting colder, it's easy to get sick. Make sure you're taking care of yourselves. I don't normally offer this, but I have some healing magic, so if you find yourself not feeling well, I might be able to help you out there. I'm not a doctor or anything, but I like to think I know marginally what I'm doing. At worst, I can make you a nice pot of tea.

[That seems to be all she has to say because not long after, she turns off her video and audio feed.]

[Private to Tifa - Text]
Hey, can I ask you to do a favour for me?

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Hm...

We'll need to have a way to transport everything, so maybe you can set that up for us? Again, I don't mind chipping in for costs, but I don't know much about transportation outside of Camelot. When I went to Celliwig, I went by carriage, so we could probably use those.

I can arrange for a carriage, no problem! You can leave that to me for sure!

This is going to go a long way to helping everyone in the wake of the Celliwig disaster, Aerith. I really can't thank you enough!

It's no trouble at all. I like keeping myself busy anyway.

All of that stuff aside, how have you been doing?

Eh...last month was a rough month for me. I had some demons to really deal with after what happened in Celliwig.

But...I'm doing better now. I'm trying to look forward, not back. Trying not to let my problems with survivor's guilt cloud my every judgement.

Plus...well...there's the person the flowers are for so...

A-Anyway, how about you? Been keeping out of trouble?

I imagine you're not the only one who had some difficulties with it. I'd be surprised if most of us weren't impacted on a deep level in some way.

[Survivor's guilt is a great way to put it. In hindsight, she realises she never asked Balthier if he experienced that. She wouldn't be surprised if he did, honestly. Based on what she knows of him. She should have been more sensitive.]

I've been in about as much trouble as everyone else here. Although my time has been largely spent with the refugees that have been coming in. Trying to make them feel welcome. Get them anything I can to make their lives here more comfortable. I wish I could regale you with some grand tales, but I don't have any.

[A pause.]

I mean, I guess at some point I went with some friends to a club that was doing some shady practises and we taught them a lesson.

[All in a day's work.]

A club ding shady practices?

Okay, you can't just bury the lead like that, Aerith. I'm gonna need some details~

I don't really remember the whole thing. Like knights... I think? Were being made to work against their will? It was at one of those... risque clubs. You know, dancers and what not. So Tifa, Jade, and I all dressed up and pretended we were members of the staff and that we worked at the club to save the people who got caught in there.

[Good times. The costumes were the best part.]

It sounds more exciting than it was.

Oh man, you guys got to wear costumes?

That sounds like a lot more fun than I've been having.

I wouldn't say 'got' to wear. More like it was necessary. Otherwise, they would have known we weren't there to work. Besides, I think I'm really the only one who actually liked the outfits. Tifa's a little more reserved, I think. And Jade seemed very professional about the whole thing.

If it helps, they were equally risque costumes. Didn't leave a whole lot to the imagination.

That still sounds pretty fun. Then again, I'm not really one to shy away from risqué business. Apparently, I can be a little shameless...

What did you like about your costume? Was it glamorous?

Really? Shameless, but you have trouble talking about your girlfriend.

[Aerith is not buying what he's selling.]

S-Shameless when it comes to me and my body! Not my feelings about...others...!

...Okay, maybe...guh! Okay, so I can gush really easily! But at least when it comes to my body I'm way more confident about that! Hell, I've spent most of my life training it!

[He is so flustered right now, how could you, Aerith!]

I guess that kind of makes sense?

[Dusting touch along her chin in thought, she still doesn't seem fully persuaded. Enough to concede that it's a slightly believable point.]

I think I'm the opposite of you. I don't have an easy time talking about what I think of myself, but talking about how I feel about other people is a lot easier. It's not hard to say what I mean and to mean what I say.

I think I get what you mean. Normally, I wear my feelings pretty openly but...

...When it comes to her, I'm...I don't know what my feelings actually are. I really care about her but...I don't...entirely know what that means yet. I'm having trouble figuring it out.

It's hard to articulate it into words without prompts, you know?

[She... can empathise with all of this in a very deep, severe way. At least it sounds like he's trying. In the end, that's all one can expect, isn't it? Without even realising it, he inadvertently jabs a sliver of guilt into her.]

Feelings are hard. [Aerith begins softly, thoughtfully.] Sometimes it's easier not to define them. Sometimes the thought of defining them makes them feel more weighted and real, and sometimes facing that can be scary. You have time. You shouldn't feel in a rush to figure them out. And I have a hard time believing you'd have an interest in someone who didn't feel the same kind of patience for you. I'm sure she understands and probably feels something very similar.

Gods, she's so much more patient than I think I could ever be. Honestly, after everything with Celliwig, just having her near me really helped me put things into perspective. For awhile, I was afraid I was a lost cause, but she never thought that.

[He sighs.]

To be frank...feelings of attachment are...hard for me. I'm more scared of hurting people than I'm scared of getting hurt. I lost so much back home just by virtue of...existing. It feels like if I get close to someone, something's going to appear and hurt them just because they saw something worthwhile in me.

So when I start to feel something towards someone, my first instinct is to spare them the pain. To shut them out.

[All she can do is listen because so many things he says mirror how she feels. The kinds of things she would never dare say to someone else. So instead of interjecting, instead of taking away from anything he's sharing with her, Aerith simply contemplates. And she admires because to say any of that takes courage. That isn't something just anyone can wield.

Finally, she looses a breath that she didn't realise she was holding.]

It sounds to me like she's very understanding. Maybe a little stubborn too, and that might be something you need. It's okay to feel afraid. It's okay to feel nervous. But it's not okay to deny yourself the opportunities of joy when they find you. Every bond you make with someone, regardless of its nature, comes with its own risk. But if you spend your life always afraid, how can that really be called living?

[She shakes her head.]

Sometimes you have to be willing to face the risks. It sounds to me like she's helping you realise that.

[He honestly starts laughing. Not at her, gods no, just...about how right she is.]

You know, it's funny. I'm always happy to be the first one into a fight, to throw myself at some enemy or disaster or problem as long as it has nothing to do with coping with the dumpster fire that is my own sense of self. I bet you wouldn't believe half of the things I could tell you about my story.

And 'stubborn' is an understatement. We got on like cats and dogs when we first met.

...You're really good at listening, you know?

[She smiles. Just a tad. She can believe it. Two stubborn minds can collide. Most often likely will. It doesn't necessarily mean that one is right and the other wrong. It only means that each has strength in their own conviction.

That is not a crime.]

I've heard that before. Usually I can learn more by listening than I can by talking. Besides, I'm with myself all the time. I'm not half as interesting as everyone else in Camelot is. I guess you could say I'm trying to make up for lost time since I haven't spoken with you in a while.

What? I think you're plenty interesting! I've never known someone who had so much knowledge about flowers before. They must be a big part of your home.

[He laughs a little sheepishly at that.]

You know, we should go on a quest or something soon. Something fun! Get out of Camelot a bit!

Actually... they don't grow very well where I come from. There's a church they grow in. And they grow around my house. Not much of anywhere else. I started growing them to help my mom make money.

[As for her knowledge... Well. There aren't books that can properly detail what it's like to be a Cetra. Aerith doesn't seem to be inclined to share that, however.]

I'd like that. I could use it. The next time you go, tell me and I'll go with you.

...Really? How come? Is it just the climate?

I'd be more than happy to, Aerith. The way I see it, there's still a lot of Avalon left to explore! There's bound to be some amazing things out there!

Not exactly. I don't honestly know why they grow where they do, given that I didn't think there was anything special about the soil.

[She wonders how to put it.] The energy source that's used pollutes the ground, so nothing can grow. Well, nothing should be able to. [Again, her home and the church being exceptions to that for some reason.]

All of that aside, I'm very long overdue for some exploration and some adventure. Better to get that in now before it gets too cold, after all.

[For some reason, Aerith seems a little dodgy when it comes to talking about why flowers only seem to grow around her house. Darin notes it but...well, he's not gonna pry. Aerith's never pried into any of his business and he's already transformed into a demonic rage monster once. The least he can do is offer her the same courtesy. So, he drops it with a simple comment.]

Huh, I think I get it. I can imagine what people are probably like being told to give up their energy source to stop polluting the planet. It doesn't seem like an easy conversation.

Oh man, you're right, it's getting to be that time of year, isn't it. I'll keep an eye out for something fun.

It's a little more complicated than that, admittedly. The people who want that to stop aren't in a power to make it stop. All they're trying to do is survive from one day to the next. The people with the power don't have the earth in mind.

[Although it does make her wonder what Shinra's real thoughts are. It's not like she's ever had an extended conversation with them. Or with the Turks for that matter.]

Ideally, the city and its sectors would get restructured, but it would displace a lot of people. My mom and me included. Most of the people don't have anywhere else to go. But I don't work with anyone in power and nothing I've said so far has convinced them to do otherwise. I'll have to find other ways to make change.

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