avalononline | video; un: lilmonix3 || #MerlinQuest

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video; un: lilmonix3 || #MerlinQuest

[ Monika started the video feed on an impulse. She'd been spending hours trying to work up the courage to post the quest in text form, but to no avail. Best way was to get rid of it without thinking. ]

Hey everyone! So um, I'm here about that quest from Merlin. [Okay, she needed to clear a misconception first:] It's not like I need it or anything, but I kind of get completionist instincts when I see a time-limited quest reward. [There.] And besides it could theoretically be very useful if you had a crush on someone and didn't know how they'd react to your confession... If that spell worked on them, that'd mean they're also attracted to you, right? N-Not that I have anyone like that yet, but you never know... A-Ahaha...

[ Gosh. Why couldn't she have shut it up after she mentioned the completionist thing? ]

Um... Anyway, that's a pick up line first, right? [She cleared her throat.] Well, u-um... Are you an overdue book? Because you have fine written all over you!

[ With that said, she marked a pause and looked away, her face red as a tomato. That was the best she'd been able to come up with... Thankfully, her best was incredibly lame. Surprisingly, it was more embarrassing to say stuff like that to an open audience than to a single invisible player. ]

As for a line that'd work on me... When I look into your eyes, nothing exists for me anymore because I lose myself in them. [An agonizing pause. If lameness could kill, she'd be dead.] I-It's pretty good, right?

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[ ... Huh. Could it be they had something in common? Small miracles. ]

Yeah... [At least she's fairly sure he didn't get deleted after confessing in his end.] That's why I want that recipe from Merlin. If someone isn't interested in me, at least I'll know before even asking, you know? Getting rejected hurts.

[ Well Bakugou's wasn't really a confession so much as it was a "I know what I want and I'm willing to work to make it happen." The 'confession' happened later after he had been goaded into it and it was mostly backhanded complements and yelling. ]

Feelings change though. Just because someone might not return your shitty feelings at first doesn't mean that they won't later. Sometimes persistence actually works.

... "Shitty" feelings?

[ She would have merely agreed with his assertion that persistence worked if not for that word. "Shitty." Attached to "feelings." On most things, Monika had already established herself as unwilling to go for a confrontation. But this? ]

There is never anything "shitty" about feelings. Especially when they're feelings of love. [She sounded serious. Far more than she'd been with him so far.] I understand you have your own way to speak of things, but I would appreciate if you never spoke in such a manner about anyone's feelings. Neither mine, nor yours. They're a sacred thing that ought to be respected.

[ ...Girl. ]

That wasn't being used as a descriptor or adjective.

[ This is pretty stupid. ]

Are you really gonna focus on how I say shit rather than what I say every time? Really?

No, of course not. I even agree with everything you've just said.

[ She realizes she's picked a pretty stupid war, but she's ready to die on that hill. Urgh. Just when she'd started thinking perhaps she would be able to get along with him. ]

But words hold power. If you're not using the word as an adjective, then why use it? [Sorry, that's very important to her.] And that's not just about me. I won't stand for your own feelings to have the word "shitty" attached to them. They deserve more respect.

The fuck? They're my feelings. I can say whatever the hell I want about them!

[ Yeah, he had tuned out about 75% of that. Blah blah. It is a stupid hill to die on. Sorry, gurl. ]

You can, but then what? The result of disrespecting your own feelings is a ball of aggressiveness and anger that can't get along with anyone!

[ She paused after saying that, her eyes widening in horror. Had she really... Just said that? Well there was some degree of truth to her words, but... That was a really harsh way to word it. ]

... I'm sorry.

[ . . . ]

You're not sorry. You're not sorry at fucking all.

[ Part of that is true, of course. Feelings are pretty hard for Katsuki. And they'll continue to be for a while yet. Coming across as foul-mouthed and arrogant is just...

Easier. ]

I am. Stop trying to be like you know what's in my heart better than I do.

[ That was annoying, too. Urgh, there were so many annoying aspects to him. Even Natsuki hadn't been so hard to become friend with. Maybe she should stop trying so hard. Sometimes, two people were just incompatible. She'd never run into that problem on such a scale before, so that was a bit hard to accept... She'd do a last attempt, and then give up. ]

I saw a really passionate and talented young man the other day. [A pause.] But he doesn't respect himself and hides behind a horrible, horrible mask. That's unfair. To him and to those who try reaching out to him. I think that young man is worth the effort of reaching out for. But that's pointless so long as he doesn't believe it himself.

[ He makes a growling sound. But he won't like... Tell her she's wrong.

Now Katsuki is just an awkward teenager. Like many awkward teenagers that came before him and will come after him. So while he thinks that she might be talking about him? Bakugou isn't entirely sure. ]

You got a point to this story of yours?

[ Because... It's not entirely a mask. He is cranky and introverted. ]

[ A point? .... Mhm. She'd hoped the point would have been obvious. How to word it? Now she actually had to think about it a bit and— Huh. Maybe the point wasn't that obvious. She was just trying to tell him he should respect his own feelings. That in turn, he would lead to him getting along with people more easily. It would help him respect people if he could respect himself.

Not that she was exactly the best person around to speak about self-respect. ]

I don't know. [She sighed.] But you replied to my post, didn't you? I'm sure you've replied to others, too. You're reaching out for people and yet the way you behave is pushing them away.

[ It was contradictory. But being illogical and having opposing desires? That was probably the most human thing of all. If she was to make a comparison with herself... It made more sense that way. She tried projecting the image of a confident young woman who held herself with poise and elegance. To an extent, what the "mask" projected was true. She was soft-spoken, she had a lot of drive and very big dreams! But even so, beneath that mask she was a mess. A pushover who couldn't stand confrontation, self-loathing and absolutely desperate for love. A broken excuse of a person, vulnerable and afraid of being alone. She didn't want anyone to see that side of her. Odds were...

He didn't want anyone to see what was behind his "mask." ]

I think you should give yourself and others a chance.

[ Oh the point is, indeed, obvious. What he doesn't appreciate is the fact that someone who doesn't even remotely know him is saying this shit.

The thing about network versus in person is... Well it's not in person. Face to face conversations kind of piss him off. And he doesn't really make it a habit to respond to many people here unless he knows them or unless it's important information. ~~Or they say something extremely ignorant~~ ]

Do you always offer unsolicited advice?

[ Oh gosh, she felt so called out now...! Though, in spite of not knowing him that well at all... She felt somewhat confident about what she was saying. Maybe because of how much he reminded her of Natsuki. Perhaps because of her extensive knowledge of tropes and how people worked. ]

Ahaha...! Um, yeah that's a bad habit of mine...

[ She'd been told to mind her own business on multiple occasions before. And that was usually enough to pierce through and deflate her. ]

I'm sorry. I guess I overstepped my boundaries.

[ You know what? He might allow it to slide this time... ]

Aren't you working on someone's request anyway?

Yeah, Merlin's...

[ Damn wizard. This entire conversation was his fault. Yet again... In a way, this had been a good thing. Weirdly enough, she felt closer to him even though they'd just had yet another argument. ]

Are you going to do his quest, too?

Tch. You've known me for a whole hot three seconds.

Do you really think Imma do something like pick up lines?

I mean, no... But if it was a challenge to overcome? Then maybe.

[ He liked to overcome challenges, right? ]

I don't need to pick up anyone.

[ For good reason! ]

[ Ooooooh. Did he... Already have a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend perhaps? She giggled and nodded. ]

I see...! I'll keep my lips shut, promised.

Hah!?

What's there to keep quiet about!?

Well, the way you said you don't need this... It feels like it kinda implies, you know.

[ You know. ]

You already got that special someone, right?

[ Ah... Well... ]

A special pain in the ass, maybe.

[ She was so curious; did that someone know and they were a couple, or had he never confessed? But that wasn't her place to ask really. ]

Coming from you, that sounds like a compliment, ahaha.