voice | un: homeros

[leitstern]

People of Avalon, I approach you with a conundrum.

[Five seconds pass until he remembers what he wants to say. Ten seconds elapse before he remembers how to talk. He leans backwards and stares at the ceiling. The drag on his voice feels like a lump in his throat, forcing him to squeeze out word after word.]

My compatriot and I have reached an impasse and it is my avowed hope you can break the deadlock. He is... refuting the evident need for a new byname for the network. I maintain his favoured sobriquet is suitable only to be laughed at.

[A breather. He loosens his tie and begins counting. Eight seconds, no more.]

I want you to advise him to cease being stubborn and listen to his old friend. It would be for his own good.

[The mic is left running as he stands up and stumbles offscreen. His words continue dragging on at a crawl.]

Obsidian36 is truly undignified and improper, Hendrik. Believe me, nobody would suspect you of being a horse.

Comments

[leitstern]

[Jasper awkwardly bounces each word from one ear to the other.]

Well, yes! I cannot understand it! You. Why would you name yourself after your horse?

[There is a pause. The seconds needed for his brain to catch up with his impulses.]

It makes no sense.

[standvastig]

It was the first thing on my mind. Obsidian. And then the text suggested using number significant to you to make the name unique.

[But if he's really going this far...]

I have no idea what your name is supposed to be.

[leitstern]

Mine is the name of the greatest author of Heliodorian poetry. Do you not think it makes me look distinguished?

[There are a few other personal facts in his decisions but...]

[standvastig]

Not really. If one does not know the meaning of the name, it looks like ... gibberish.

[Which is, in his mind at least, worse than the combination he created for his own username.]

[leitstern]

... Say that again.

[The cold anger of warning Hendrik he is on thin ice is, perhaps, neutered by the fact his words are slurred.]

[standvastig]

[Hmm. Something about that strikes Hendrik as odd.]

You do not usually have me repeat myself.

[leitstern]

[It takes a moment for Jasper to realise Hendrik is not acting bold.]

Indeed. It would be a hard task for you, I suppose. Especially if, like me, one has no interest in listening.

[standvastig]

I would not say that is the case. People here seem perfectly willing to listen to you, even if they disagree.

[He may be overestimating Jasper's capacity to discuss things at length while he's drunk. Possibly.]

[leitstern]

[He seizes on one part of the argument... and hears it as something else entirely.]

Oh disagree, of course. Anybody would think they were never capable of being wrong.

[standvastig]

[This is definitely a coherent conversation.]

There seems to be a noticeable amount of disagreeing going on.

[leitstern]

There seems to be a noticable amount of people who are wrong, then.

[Stubborn is as stubborn does.]

[standvastig]

[He sighs. If he was approaching this more seriously, he could see this spiraling into an argument. But it's just words on a screen, with little impact on anything.]

Do you intend to do this all afternoon?

[leitstern]

Yes. And you have no say in the matter.

[What else can he say to that?]

[standvastig]

[The conversation can only go so many ways from here.]

Very well. If your plans interfere with dinner, I will leave your meal at your door.

[leitstern]

If it is not dessert leave it in the fridge.

[That's simple enough, right?]

[standvastig]

...It is usually dinner before dessert.

[Simple? It could have been.]

[leitstern]

There is no need to educate me on dinner etiquette, Hendrik. My stomach hardly cares.

[Their relationship is hardly ever simple.]

[standvastig]

I suppose that is not too surprising. You seem to care about odd things.

[Like what's going on right now with his username.]

[leitstern]

As do you.

[Like all those books he has a fondness for - but perhaps in this case he is referring to himself.]

[standvastig]

[There's an audible grunt from Hendrik, but no actual words; it feels like they've reached an impasse of sorts.

He'll give it a moment before logging off.]