video;

[jinzhong]

[The video thumbs on to show a slightly bewildered-looking Chinese man. A qilin looms over his shoulder.]

So, uh...this is not at all what I thought Hell was gonna be like. Like...at all. Didn't think there were gonna be smartphones.

Comments

text - un:IZZYGRRRL83

[notwearingthekeds]

This isn't hell. I don't think its hell anyway.

Are phones really like this where everyone else is from?

text; un: goldenkoiboi

[jinzhong]

I mean yeah I just got rid of my old flip phone a couple years back

you sure it's not hell?

[notwearingthekeds]

I'm from 1997. What's a flip phone?

And I've met people that seem to give a shit about me, so it probably isn't hell. If it is, hell is way better than Ohio.

video; un: mordio

[blahblahblah]

[Rita opens her mouth to reply, checks briefly at the creature over the man's shoulder, but shrugs slightly and starts again.]

Definitely not Hell, apparently. Just the last safe place left, and the place we're going to have to fix everything from. It's not exactly what I was expecting, either.

I'm not complaining about the smartphone, though. I would kill for one of these at home.

video; un: goldenkoiboi

[jinzhong]

Man...I can't even fix my car, really. I just take it to my uncle. How's anyone expect me to fix a world?

What, you only have flip phones where you come from? No Candy Crush?

[blahblahblah]

With some luck, some ingenuity, and a lot of stubbornness. It's looking like some willingness to work together would help too, but not everyone plays well with others. [Please imagine a neon sign over her head saying LIKE ME. The look on her face says she won't argue it.]

We don't have phones at all where I'm from. If I want to talk to someone, I send a letter. If I have to do it faster, I go myself. Ideally on a horse, even if I'm too short to ride one comfortably.

video un: konpeito_oni

[konpeito_aji]

There's no such thing as Hell. Why do people keep jumping to that conclusion?

video; un: goldenkoiboi

[jinzhong]

What makes you so sure?

Maybe it's 'cause we died before waking up with a qilin looming over us, smartass!

[konpeito_aji]

Because I'm the Demon King of Sixth Heaven.

voice; un: rokumon

[garyoutensei]

What, expecting the enma to personally hand you a verdict and assign some oni to pull out your tongue?

[ A small chuckle. ]

voice; un: goldenkoiboi

[jinzhong]

No offense but what the fuck are you talking about? I mean, shit, I know I did some bad things, but my tongue isn't gettin' ripped out by anyone, especially not whatever the hell an oni is.

I was loyal, I never betrayed anyone no matter what happened, and I wouldn't do that even before I got initiated. That'd at least get me some points, right?

[garyoutensei]

You asked about hell. That's hell, kid. [ An audible shrug. ]

Don't go bargaining to me about what kind of moral life you had. Besides, this isn't hell, as it turns out.

Video UN: Wolverine

[bostonhowler]

[ Have the inside of a mouth, Jackie. Then, the sound of a Boston accent coming over the speaker. ]

Cuna, I've told you not to... Give me that!

[ Then, the redhead appears. She looks frustrated, and there's a smudge of flour along one cheekbone. ]

Apologies, my familiar turned my phone on.

video; un: goldenkoiboi

[jinzhong]

[AAAAUGH IT'S A DEMON-- no wait just a big dog eating a phone. Then the lady appears.]

Oh, uh, hey, no problem.

Just checking: Is this Hell? 'Cause I'm having some doubts, but I'm not really sure if I can trust this place is what it says it is.

video;

[bostonhowler]

No, of course not. It's Avalon. Or, the fabled home of King Arthur and his knights of the Round Table.

[ She's not sure that she believes that, but it's definitely not hell. ]

Are you alright?

video | un: saigyouji

[borderoflife]

Oh, I don't believe this is Hell. You'd have to travel along the Sanzu River and be judged by one of the yama first. Though perhaps things would run a bit more smoothly if they did give out these phones...

video; un: goldenkoiboi

[jinzhong]

I don't remember hearing about a river or anything, just that you die and you get judged and then you see the people who came before.

I was looking forward to seeing some people...guess they're not here.

voice; un: ensignledo

[ferrytale]

What is "Hell"?

Referring to these devices as "smart" is a reach.

voice; un: goldenkoiboi

[jinzhong]

It's where you go where you die and if you're really lucky you don't get tortured for being an asshole during life. Then you get reincarnated eventually and everything starts over.

...really hope I get a proper burial. Doubt it, though.

text; un: hypnos

[verytired]

Hell? Like Hades?

[ He's heard the word around here, he can assume. ]

I'm from Hades. This is nothing like hades. There's no sunlight and stars in Hades.

text; un: goldenkoiboi

[jinzhong]

Is Hades a different neighborhood? Like how Aberdeen's different from K-Town??

No seriously what the fuck is Hades

Video, un: fashiondiva

[corpsewarblade]

Yeah, kinda figured it was Hell or something too when I first turned up.

Apparently it's not though? But I figure the state everywhere else is in could be described like that.

video; un: goldenkoiboi

[jinzhong]

Yeah, I heard the whole story. Not sure I believe it, even if everything went off the rails back...home.

[He's not sure he can think of Hong Kong as home anymore. Not after what happened. It's still too raw.]

video; un: dunmer dragonborn

[fireandhoney]

I'm guessing that Hell is your equivalent of Oblivion. And if that's the case, sometimes the Prince who rules a particular plane might do something like that just to mess with mortals.

video; un: goldenkoiboi

[jinzhong]

Oh, cool, figures that whoever's in charge of that shit would decide to screw with me.