text; un: fireprince

[rediscovering]

1. what do you know about job interviews?
i didnt know you have to interview to get jobs. even if it's just at a restaurant!! regardless of whether the job itself involves talking to people at all!!? stupid

[ Guess who's been bombing interviews as a part-time busboy all over town. And who's only bothering to ask about proper employment beyond random quests, um, now, after several months of just getting by...? He must be getting tired of stealing hotchips from the cornerstore. ]

2. what do you know about going to school as a full-time student here?
i heard you can make a living like this
insight about going to school in other worlds could be useful too. i was homeschooled....

[ But at least he's thinking in terms of solutions. ]

Comments

[corpsewarblade]

Our duties come ahead of our actual selves. That's all it is. People don't seem to understand the cost of just dropping that.
But then again I guess I focus so much on my role its easy to forget where that stops and 'me' starts.

It's less efficient than hand signals in actual combat but for espionage maybe.
Um. Thank you. I do my best :)

[Ahh he was complimenting her strategising...! And wasn't calling her a disappointing battle junkie...! She couldn't help a bright smile lighting up her face.

Nope. 'Being normal' wouldn't be a thing for a while.]

Progressive muscle relaxation huh...yeah, I'll give that a try. Thank you. You're really good at this stuff.
Relaxing is something I've never been that good at if I'm not putting up an act.

Siphoning magic does seem like it would be difficult to use. It's dependant on what your opponent is using against you as well.

[rediscovering]

for me when i was under cover it was because i was a fugitive living in enemy territory..
so less dedication and more desperation.
our other option was living in the woods off the land.. so we hid in plain view in the biggest city in the earth kingdom, ba sing se, under false names and identities. we posed as refugees, ironically..
once someone i met there caught onto us but he looked crazy when he tried to attack us at our workplace and the authorities hauled him away..

[ And then he got brainwashed and Zuko later found out he died. Zuko can’t help but wonder if his discovery of their true nationality was the first domino that fell that led to that boy’s death. It’s a bitter thought. ]

it wasnt that hard not being myself though
so long as no one found out we were fire nation.. it was actually a more peaceful life than the one i led before and after..
it was nice.

im not good at relaxing either
that’s why im so practiced at meditating ha ha
dont expect to empty your mind
that’s not the aim.
don’t think about not thinking
imagine your thoughts like autumn leaves fallen on a stream and let them pass and then float away..

[ He’s very much his uncle’s nephew in this moment… ]

as for siphoning magic
i feel like to master it i’ll have to study all the other types of magic i don’t have in order to understand how to redirect them safely, right
i dont know a lot about it.
and im supposed to be able to break curses
but if i do it wrong i’ll end up cursing myself
so……… probably not best to try and be self-taught at this. i need a master. hopefully one of the teachers at the school.

1/2

[corpsewarblade]

I see that explains it. Hiding in plain sight after an infiltration is a wise choice when you don't have an advantage in numbers, or when you're still scoping out the enemy forces. I'm glad you were able to adjust quickly.

For me...I guess you could call it an infiltration as well. I was instructed to impersonate my mission commander and infiltrate a group without their knowledge, so she could carry on her work behind the scenes and we could keep operations running smoothly. She's very different to me and it's challenging to get it right. But I think I've succeeded so far.

None of them know the real 'me' even existed after all.

2/2

[corpsewarblade]

[There was a long pause then, as she stared at what she'd just written. It stung more than she thought it would to admit it but...none of them, not even Makoto, ever knew who 'Mukuro Ikusaba' was. They'd only known her as 'Junko Enoshima'.

She scrubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand, before continuing. She didn't want to ignore the rest of his message, after all.]

sorry
so it's not about emptying your mind it's about visualising the thoughts??

Okay. I'll try. I'm guessing I need to practice it before it starts to make sense.

I will look into whether anyone I know uses Siphon magic and send them your way but if not the school seems a reasonable option

[rediscovering]

let me be clear: it wasnt an infiltration, and we werent scoping out enemy forces.. nor were we acting as part of the fire nation army.
we were just living.
we were wanted criminals back home. for treason..
we had no other options.. but to live peacefully elsewhere.
it was an empty time but not an unpleasant one.

your experience, however, sounds a lot more charged. i didnt have to act as anyone in particular. just a nobody of my own creation.
delivering a performance as someone well-known like a commander is a whole different game. takes a lot of composure and expertise and really convincing acting skills. i dont know your commander but..bravo.

[ He doesn't understand what she's apologizing for, but certainly feels she has no reason to. She's just talking. And for someone who's still posing as someone else... talking as herself is invaluable, he sees more and more. He's glad to be able to be a penpal to her — whoever she is. In fact, if she's even a "she" at all, he truly has no idea. But something in him fancies that she's a woman for some reason, if only just his own errant imagination... ]

as for meditation
it's not even just about visualizing thoughts
if that helps you, great
but it's about not focusing
which is difficult for disciplined people like us.
you know what it's like in those moments just before sleep where your mind goes wherever it wants?? like that. but wakeful.
somehow a frame of mind that lets you stare at a wall without seeing, or watch the flame of a candle dance as if it's the only thing in the world.... a focus so intense it creates a lack of focus.
does that make any sense???
try it in the mornings when you wake up and in the nighttimes before you go to bed and see if that works out for you
it's helped me for many years..


and thank you. for looking into the siphoning magic for me.
much appreciated.

[ He's more touched than he even sounds, truth be told. ]

[corpsewarblade]

Oh. Yeah that is a little different. It sounds like you were able to get by, though. Despite having to hide.

Thank you
I try my best and I know I disappoint her a lot but I want to do this right.

[At the very least that admission meant she was impersonating a woman, which might lend evidence to his theory.]

Actually yes. I understand.
When I fight and the battle gets intense enough, it's like that. I stop thinking and my body starts to move more efficiently. Faster. I can react to what's happening without having to consciously think. I can't really explain it well but it. It feels like that. A bit. Maybe?

[Her 'Battle Trance'...it didn't feel as affective in Avalon as it did back home, but it had been an important ability to hone on the battleground.]

Um. I'll give it a try.

...Thank you too. For helping me out. And listening.

[rediscovering]

yeah we got by
we worked in a little teashop at first
then my uncle's expertise was recognized by some high-standing officials who visited, and they offered to fund him opening his own business
so after that we moved to the upper ring and had a nicer apartment i guess..
he ran a successful teashop called the jasmine dragon
and i worked alongside him in the shops as a busboy and sometimes a waiter.. i wasnt great at being a waiter.... i preferred to clean..
but that was my whole life for many months.
no one knew who we really were
we were just normal people
i went by lee and he went by mushi....
and that was it.

living here.. it's been like that again. except i'm myself.
like i told you, there's one important thing i'm hiding from most people, but some people know. and that helps.
but even for the people who don't.... maybe especially with those people, because they don't know this thing about me..
i can just be myself. just a normal person.
not lee. not anyone in particular. no one important. just me. whoever that is.
so it's similar to my time ba sing se.. but better. more honest.

if you have someone you trust to be yourself around, i think that's important. if i didn't have uncle by my side who knew the truth, whom i could talk to plainly, i don't think i would've "got by" undercover in the earth kingdom.
i tried to be on my own once, still as a fugitive, still posing as a refugee, before we moved to the city. we had been beggars living in the forest. i couldn't stand it. so i left uncle. i thought there was nothing more i could learn from him, that it was time for me to set out on my own.... but in reality i was just wandering the countryside alone on an ostrich-horse with no food or money. it was hard. i thought being alone would be better for me, for my sense of self, for my strength. it wasn't.
you can't carry your own identity alone. you need people who know you around to be able to know yourself.
im sure youre doing your mission well, but.. that's my advice you didn't ask for. ha.

a couple truthkeepers and daily meditation.

[corpsewarblade]

It sounds like you two made a name for yourselves under your fake identities. Impressive.

'Whoever that is'. That's hard to figure out. But I'm glad you're finding it here and now. I wonder if I'm losing sight of whoever 'I' am and whether that's a bad thing.]

[She...kinda wanted to ask what on earth an ostrich-horse was, but now wasn't really the time for that.]

You were able to reconsile with your uncle in the end?

I have allies who know. There's one place in Avalon where I can be mostly myself. I might practice there.

I appreciate the advice...I don't know how much I can offer that's useful to you though.