avalononline | 🐓 LOOK!!!! 👀 EGGS 🐓

[ izō is sitting on the back porch steps of the building that serves as the sakamoto detective agency and apparently filming this himself based on the fact that this is a shaky, amateur selfie cam video feed. ]

Hey so... I got eggs. An' ya oughta be buyin' 'em 'cause they're fuckin' great!

Language!

[ to anyone who isn't an animal mage, all they would've heard is sudden, noisy clucking from somewhere offscreen. ]

Sorry. Er—... c'mon look at all the colours!

[ awkwardly, he changes the video to use the other camera and then has to adjust. eventually, though, a basket of eggs is visible. all the shells are in varying shades of blue and green. ]

Hehe, yeah, got yer attention now, huh? This shit right here? Top shelf.

[ is he supposed to be selling eggs or–…? LOOK. he's really into this, actually, which is probably why he doesn't get called on that swear. ]

So, uh, that's it. Buy some eggs or whatever. Why I gotta say anything else? Ya know what eggs are…

[ he brings the camera really close. threateningly close. too close? ]

Only these ones are better! Why? 'Cause, my chickens are the best!

[ another burst of clucking for the non-animal magic users, and something that sounds like a couple of excited middle-aged ladies talking loudly over each other for those who can understand them. it's impossible to know what they're saying, only that it sounds happy enough. ]

Anyway... if ya wanna pick some up, I work outta the Sakamoto Detective Agency. An' bring that guy somethin' to do while yer at it. Not that he has anythin' t'do with this. Ain't like he put me up to this! ... Huh?

[ ~~how's that for a free promotion, ryouma?~~ izō looks offscreen for a second, distracted. ]

Oh. And they said thanks. The hens, I mean. So don't make 'em upset by not rewardin' 'em for their hard work or else!

[ he ends the feed there. that should do it... right? ]

Threaded | Flat

[This is. Coming from the same manslayers he's been arguing over the internet. This is. That manslayer??

Jean wasn't gonna actually reply but while he started laughing he accidentally hit the reply button and you just get a laughing teenager laughing at him on video. Because this is just so absurd to him.]

[Mash barely suppresses a soft and amused little laugh, quickly covering her mouth and looking apologetic about doing so. She knows Izo doesn’t like being laughed at but this is so unexpectedly… cute??? She gives a fond smile.]

They look wonderful. How much are you selling them for?

[ While perhaps not the smoothest sales pitch, Tsumugi is committed to buying the moment he said "eggs". (listen, he really, really loves eggs.) ]

I would love to buy some eggs! But I'm afraid don't know where the Detective Agency is...

Hmm...

[Now that was an interesting promotion here! There's a pause on Kotarou's end before he decides to give his input with an amused grin.]

Between 0 to 100 points, I'll give that promotional selfie a solid 60. For starters, you could've said something like "Are you looking for an egg-ceptional source of protein? Because my babies will provide you with sunny-side up smiles!" Puns never fail, dude.

Oh - very good chickens. Will get some eggs.

Do chickens have names?

[ important question ]

I hope you're a better murderer than salesman.

[ That's the kindest thing she can force herself to say upon seeing that. Maybe it's influenced just a teensy bit by her continued grudge. Just a bit. ]

you gonna show us how to cook them?

( is she just being a little shit because she can? yes. )

Edited 2022-04-06 23:02 (UTC)

Don't now what people are saying - you're doing a decent job at advertising them. You made eggs sound pretty exciting.

[Xue Yang has seen a lot of chicken eggs in his life, but never those colors. Count him impressed!]

What makes them great?

[Are they just...painted?]

[ And here is Ryouma's beaming smile. ]

I'm proud of you, Manslayer! You've done so well taking care of them.

Cute...!!

[ Mash might be thinking it, but Ritsuka says it outright. Is she talking about Izou, the eggs, or the chickens? Yes. Yes she is. ]

Izou-san, I didn't know you were raising friends like this! I'd definitely take a few eggs, if that's okay. Are they going to hatch? Could I get some baby chicks out of this??

( oh, it's that guy! from the party! Izumi is more than happy to a. drop a reply to his post and b. check out the location of this detective agency. hm... a bit out of her way, but she doesn't mind making the trip. )

Could you save six for me? They go really well in curry!

( of course they do. )

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